• 12 Oct 2009 at 12:35 PM

Insider: Here’s How I Know James Gorman Will Be Great For Morgan Stanley

By Bess Levin

jamesgorman.jpgAs you’re aware, John Mack is retiring at the end of this year and come January 1, James Gorman, who currently runs the firm’s brokerage unit, will take over as CEO. This has a gaggle of employees supposedly all nervous about what the change at the top might mean. Namely they’re worried about whether or not Big G will have it in him to take on enough risk to “regain lost ground against Goldman” (and if he’ll get everyone hopped up on sweets like Mack). Apparently Gorman’s been meeting with traders and has assured them “risk taking is going to be a part of [Morgan's] business” but some people are not yet convinced. Enter, an unnamed Gorman loyalist to offer a confidence inspiring quote. How does this guy know Gorman won’t dial down big bets? That he won’t give Lloyd Blankfein yet another opportunity to ask “how’s my ass taste”? That’ll he’ll do right by Morgan Stanley? Here’s how: letters.

Those who have met or heard from Gorman say those fears are overblown, and add that what the new chief has said so far gives them comfort. One loyalist noted that even the new boss’ name speaks to his suitability: Gorman is an anagram of Morgan.

You see, the old anagram assurance. It’s one thing to name your firm after yourself, but it’s quite another to by coincidence be able to rearrange the letters in your name to spell out the first word of the company you happen to work for at one point in your life. Everybody feel better now? Guy might as well have Henry and Harry’s faces tattooed on his ass.

Comments (22)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 12:36 PM

    Beth, you vicious animal liar

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 12:43 PM

    im sold!

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 12:45 PM

    little known fact- my middle name is an anagram of the phrase ‘cock like a Burmese python, and the mind of a fucking scientist’
    -cg

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 12:47 PM

    did jimmy cayne give that quote?

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    Wasn’t Gorman the weaselly slimy fuck that tried to get Ripley impregnated with a chestburster in Aliens?
    I will call him “Gorman the weasel” going forwards.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 12:54 PM

    will he have a private jet at his disposal? just asking.
    -mb

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 12:54 PM

    my wife refuses to suck on my balls

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 12:55 PM

    @7 no one cares.
    -james ‘i bleed for this shit’ gorman.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 12:56 PM

    Blankfein – Bank Elfin, LLC
    Pandit – And [just the] Tip, LLC
    Griffin – Riff Gin, LLC
    Asness – Sass’en, LLC
    -Fuck You, I’m Bored

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 12:58 PM

    @9 I am sassy!
    -cliff assy

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 12:58 PM

    Cohen – Hen Co, LLC

  12. 12
    Posted by The Kraw | October 12, 2009 at 12:59 PM

    I’d hit it…

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 1:00 PM

    @6 talk to me 50 lbs ago.
    -gorman

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 1:02 PM

    Maria B has her own float in the Columbus Day parade…. pass it on

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 1:03 PM

    Henry Kravis – Harry Knives, LLC
    Stephen Schwarzman – Henchman Tzars Spew
    -9

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 1:05 PM

    13 ftw.
    -todd t

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 1:14 PM

    can we nix Sue Herrera? Staring at tail that old will make one blind.

  18. 18
    Posted by Joe Mac | October 12, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    @13 we have a winna!

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    At least, the hand gesture is stylish.

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 1:50 PM

    What’s an anagram for Paint that Fucking Fool with a Laser Target Designator So I Can Run a Hellfire Missile Up His Ass?
    Just askin’.

  21. 21
    Posted by Charles G | October 12, 2009 at 4:29 PM

    @20 is there something you wanna say to me?

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | October 12, 2009 at 4:35 PM

    Dudes shouldn’t color their hair when the hairline starts receding. Just sayin’.
    -Insanely Thick Head of Hair Guy

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