• 07 Oct 2009 at 10:22 AM

Jack Welch: GE Healthcare Plan Doesn’t Cover Clean Needles

By Bess Levin

jackwelch.jpgYesterday we shared the joyous news that Jack Welch had made it home after a harrowing 92 days in the hospital spent battling a staph infection. Today he sat down with Fortune to discuss how he’s feeling and plans for the future. First off, he’s doing great and predicts he’ll be in “fighting shape” within three months. Second, for those of you wondering why your tuition check for the Jack Welch (Online) MBA Institute was cashed months back but you’ve yet to receive a log-in or confirmation of a seat in Professor Bartiromo’s tutorial “Suck it, Trebek,” remain calm. Jack says “there was a delay of game but the school is going to launch in January.” So that’s all nice to hear but what we really wanted to know was how J-Dubs landed in the hospital in the first place, with an infection so bad newspapers were preparing his obituary. What was the source of the staph? Welch has a theory.

The infection, which Welch thinks was caused by a dirty needle from a cortisone shot he took to help him play golf, not only spread through his spine, but also to his artificial right shoulder, which had to be surgically cleaned out.

Oh, dirty needles, sure, ship shape, the interviewer must’ve thought, not pressing this one further. We, however, are not satisfied. Why doesn’t the former GE chairman have access to clean needles? Is he visiting doctors whose offices are located in shady back alleys? Is the “cortisone shot for golf” bit cover for the real story, which is “I’ve been recreationally shooting smack with Larry Kudlow for years and sometimes you catch a bad pricker”? Is this considered normal is Jackie’s circles? Par for the course? Is this going to be addressed on his next Squawk Box appearance? WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

Comments (17)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:29 AM

    it was me!!!
    -CG

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:31 AM

    the bigger question here– does he cheat at golf?
    -jimmy c

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:32 AM

    shady motherfucker

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:33 AM

    you don’t even want to know the shit I found in his desk when I took over. Like a god damn meth lab.
    -jeff immelt

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:36 AM

    I’ve never touched an illegal substance in my life.
    -LK

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:37 AM

    Jack Felch?

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:38 AM

    @7 no

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:39 AM

    what can I say, I like to party.
    -JW

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:40 AM

    dirty needles were the source of my urinary tract infection.
    -jimmy cayne

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:40 AM

    http://www.crossingwallstreet.com/archives/2009/10/carney_vs_taibb.html

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:41 AM

    Don’t be scared, Jacky Poo. Keep walking. Almost there.
    -Henry da 8th

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:42 AM

    @10 no one gives a shit about a fight between those two fags.

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:44 AM

    11,
    You retard. Henry da 4th.

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:50 AM

    I don’t get it.

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 10:51 AM

    @14 oh, that’s cause you’re a moron.

  16. 16
    Posted by turd_ferguson | October 7, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    just thought it was appropriate to comment re jeopardy ref.
    Bet JW got the staph infection from backdoor action with large black tranny hooker.

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | October 7, 2009 at 1:23 PM

    So how is rallying against health care reform on MSNBC weekly treating you now Jack?

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