But don’t fret my pets, this is a good thing. I told you last week after examining him in the flesh that Kenny-boy had visibly slimmed down and today Bloomberg corroborates the story (in a massive profile on the Citadel founder, and how, among other things, he’s hoping to turn RBC* into a firm that goes “head to head” with Goldman Sachs, though obviously this is the most important aspect). Last year was tough, okay? Kensington and Wellington were down, really bad, the wife’s fund was outperforming his, and, of course there was that damn poster, just sitting there, mocking him. Who wouldn’t stress eat through the pain? You’ve got the S&P making idle threats on your ass, you’ve got investors pussying out on you and the only thing that can provide comfort is that plate of nachos. And brownies next to it. But now? All good! The Big C is up, and you could bounce a quarter of KG’s ass.
“We knew we were going to survive,” Griffin says of his decision to start an investment bank, sitting in the firm’s New York office on the 48th floor of the Citigroup Center a year after Lehman’s collapse. Two rows of empty desks nearby await eight new employees set to start work on the sales and trading floor of Citadel Securities.
Griffin, who says he gained 20 pounds as his funds lost $9 billion in 2008 — he shed some of the weight as they rebounded 56 percent through September — was doing what he’s done throughout Citadel’s 19-year history: stepping in when others were fleeing.
If this sort of thing doesn’t strike a cord with you, that’s probably just because your fund isn’t big and important enough to have an affect your bottom line. Or maybe your MO is to go long chocolate sauce when things are good? How do the fluctuations in the market affect your thighs? On up days do you dump a case of Zebra Cakes in a feed bag, strap it on your face and go to town in celebration? Let’s get into this.
*Royal Bank of Citadel.
Ken Griffin has recently been seen going into a doctor’s office for weight loss advice. He came out with a 90 pound mole removed from his ass.
-CG
I gained 20 pounds
-AW
I gained 20 pounds
-AW
“we stepped in when others were fleeing”?
what a dbag.
“We knew we were going to survive,” [despite being nearly 60 percent down].
then why the need for the stress eating?
KG will sleep with the whales.
-CG
On bad days I go to the local Chinese buffet at lunch and just put my head bemeath the spout on the soft serve ice cream machine, open my mouth and pull the lever.
“Do you tear into a case of Zebra Cakes on up days?”
change this to every day, and yes.
-L-train
Zebra Cakes FTW. Tears, real tears in my eyes. Bless you, Levin.
@8 identify yourself, pls. sc?
“On up days do you dump a case of Zebra Cakes in a feed bag, strap it on your face and go to town? ”
yes yes a thousand times yes.
I used to have body image issues. They called me the Raging Bulimic.
–CG
His fat ass got nothing on me.
Maria B.
what an ego on this cocksucker! go fuck yourself kenny
I tear into greg’s anus
DK
omg ZEBRA CAKES!!!!!!!
nom nom nom!!!!!
@11
Actually no, I wish i were SC. I actually live in my Meema’s basement. I’m the middle aged guy you see in the motorized wheel chair because I’m so ginormous, who smells kinda like I wear Depends. I just day-trade and read Yahoo Finance all day long.
-8
“On up days do you dump a case of Zebra Cakes in a feed bag, strap it on your face and go to town in celebration? ”
this was pure poetry (and totally dead on).
-Larry “Bear Claws Get Stuck In My Ribs” Robbins
mrs. griffin is smokin
The important thing about trading is to maintain your equilibrium. Ergo, I eat zebra cakes on both up and down days.
Larry “Bear Claws Get Stuck In My Ribs” Robbins FTW
Just like the vaunted Charleston Chew, Zebra Cakes improve significantly when chilled.
Rohit is leaving the company. The timing of this article is perfect.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aD3V5EGN.70s
Go nuts.
@25
Just saw that 20 minutes ago, such poor timing by Bloomberg/Citadel.