Brilliant legal mind Lenny Dykstra is now representing himself in his Chapter 11 bankruptcy proceedings. While there’s only a remote possibility he’ll get to argue in an actual courtroom trial that includes examining of witnesses (in which case, please call Jim Cramer and LD’s “fucking derelict business partners” to the stand), the bottom line is that he’s going to have the opportunity to open his mouth and spew legal terms and half-chewed Twizzlers. No further questions. I’ll hold you in contempt. Get your fucking hands me, vampire bat.
Lenny Dykstra Objects (To The Filthy Insuation He Stole The Fixtures Out Of His House, Would Go Back To Flying Commerical If His Life Depended On It)
By Bess LevinComments (23)
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he’s a lawyer too? damn if this guy isn’t one of the greats.
-jimbo cramer
BK fraud too. He’ll be denied his discharge, with or without Flomax/Flonase.
“I plead the Fizzif.”
was bob loblaw not available?
his hands are fucking huge.
he looks so retarded in that pic.
Bob Loblaw will lob law bomb after he posts to his law blog
@4
I do everything that LD can do plus skew younger. With jurys and the like.
Lenny will be pumped for his court appearance. He is at his finest when the pressure is on:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wukCtXW9k50
He looks a lot like Harry (of “and the Hendersons” fame) in that picture.
That look is sooo 10 minutes ago
S.L.
LOL @ 1.
Character witnesses, Darryl Strawberry and Larry Kudlow
@9
I’m not sure there’s steroids that help you pass the bar exam…
Hotel Bolide Guano
121 E 68th Street
New York, New York 10019
************************
Guest: Dykstra, L.
Suite: Foggy
Rate: 880.00/day
************************
Charges to Room:
Twizzler suppositories…………………..$ 85.00
Book: “Concussions for Dummies”….. 24.00
Service: Hit guest in “nuts” with bat… 350.00
10 gallons “AXE” mousse……………….. 54.00
Megaphone to shout out room window 289.00
Phantom of Opera Mask…………………. 25.00
Flesh colored leotards……………………. 21.00
Reinactment in room:’1919 World Series’ 2,100.00
Replace Chicago Black Socks w/ Dwarves 3,500.00
Meatball Sandwich…………………………… 15.00
Lifesize Photo of San Diego Chicken…… 76.00
Service: Cut out groin area of SD Chicken 110.00
Lifesize nude Photo of Alyssa Milano……. 225.00
Custom made “Warren Buffett” mask……. 375.00
Testicle clamps………………………………… 38.00
Lifesize drag photo Mayor of East Cleveland…88.00
Surplus NASA space helment (aluminum foil lined) 99.00
10 qts “Channel Swimming” body grease…….65.00
Custom made motorized Laz-y-Boy recliner 880.00
Picture of Beverly Hillbilly swimming pool….. 14.00
I pound “Mixed Nuts”…………………………… 11.00
Custom made Louisville Slugger codpiece….. 765.00
Faux hawk haircut………………………………….. 25.00
Replace top front teeth with “Chiclets”………. 86.00
Phone: “Manhattan’s Hottest party Line’…… 188.00
Kissing booth in room……………………………. 23.00
Book “How to Sign Babe Ruth’s Name”………. 36.00
Book “Never Take A Loss”……………………….. 23.00
Oil wrestling with Pete Rose……………………. 500.00
@15, FTW! Never gets old.
@15 Awesome!
There is a discharge down there.
@15
Genius! Perfect union of topicality and borderline insanity.
sue’s strap on dick is perfect for those over 40 with erectile dysfunction
“…the bottom line is that he’s going to have the opportunity to open his mouth and spew legal terms and half-chewed Twizzlers.”
1) Classic Bess! My morning is now happier having read that line.
2) LD has the IQ of a pick-axe beaten repeatedly against the really hard rocks. What a Maroon!
Someone actually paid $57,000 for his 1986 WS ring – http://kevincoughlin.blogspot.com/2009/10/going-going-and-sold-for-57000.html
Someone actually paid $57,000 for his 1986 WS ring – http://kevincoughlin.blogspot.com/2009/10/going-going-and-sold-for-57000.html