As you’ve probably heard, at least ten more people are expected to be charged with insider trading this week. Some of them may be connected to the Rajaratnam case. Others will be accused of dipping their wick elsewhere. Annoyingly, the authorities refuse to give any hints as to who’s going down. And we can’t take the suspense!
So that we’re not caught completely off guard, we’re asking you to make your best guesses here. We’d prefer them to be informed but “gut feelings” are also welcome. The individuals looking at being cuffed this week have apparently been investigated over the last two years. Do you remember a weird clicking sound on your phone at any point since 2007? Can you recall one of your colleagues vigorously defending Mike Milken over drinks to the point of making people uncomfortable? Did you get the distinct feeling the guy serving shrimp puffs at last year’s holiday party was wearing a wire? Has your boss ever said, point blank, “I could get fucked for this, so keep it on the hush hush?” Are you yourself having asthma attack just reading this? Let it out.
If I could just see a lineup of their penises, I’m sure I could ID the perps. Well, the guys (and hermaphrodites).
I prefer ride my Zamboni than dip my wick.
-SC
Come on… No Brainer — Greenspan!
From where I sit I don’t smell any curry nor do I see any huge bull dykes. We must be in the clear.
I discuss all matters on the ice. Good to go, you filthy plebeians.
-SAC
charlie gasparino
By the by, 2 is an imposter. We call it an “ice resurfacer.”
-SAC
“guy serving shrimp puffs”? I have a name, thank you very much.
-g. busey
Definitely Millennium.
ken griffin
@9 for a grand total of $700 or so?
I have no idea I just hope it is a big name for my own entertainment value.
Anyone remember a certain certain Captain Jack adoring figure? Come on, this board used to get wet for old T-Dawg….surrender the booty
@12 same.
-sc
Tim Sykes – guy has been privy to insider information on penny stocks for years. How do you think he makes all those awesome, 50K returns?
and by “gut feeling” bess is referring to that deeply painful feeling you got after yesterday’s meeting with chiesi and her friend “strappy”
@13 holy shit yes. what the hell ever happened to that cunt?
-mike bolton
I think it will be Rahm Emmanuel.
my ex-boss. please.
The Bedazzler, no question.
Imagine CG gets arrested for insider trading. That would make my week.
-Maria B.
Fingers crossed for Jeff Macke. Would be the perp walk o’ the century.
In fact let’s wildly speculate about what a Jeff Macke perp walk would look like.
Gary…, Gary… (sound of bottles clinking together) come out and pl-a-a-y…
xoxo
The FBI
I’ll take Carl Icahn for $100, Alex.
@15 – Sykes has a following that buys when he says (right after he does) and sells when he says (right after he sells it). He doesn’t trade on inside info, he moves stoks with his followers.
Jacob Moore, FTW.
@19 who is your ex-boss?
Rentech and their super SPARCs, obvi.
-ZH
Jim Cramer, booyah.
Dose fuckin’ G-men will never take me alive!!!
-cg
@25: Stuffed animals on his bed don’t count as a following.
Brett Barakett is a pompous jerk off, it could be him.
-Timmy B.
macksamberg
Greg Michaels? Please?
-BL
send in the clowns…@19 please do tell us who your old boss was.
bessy, perhaps db should offer up prizes for posters correctly identifying (by name) said miscreants…
pls pls pls be Muffy Benson-Perella
http://muffmarkets.com/hbs05/
hint: george costanza
-19
Can we get a Tom Hudson update please? Has he retreated to the family Morgue he erected or what?
@10 yeah right.
I’m gonna go with some random prop trades at banks.
HINT:
His initials make him sound MUCH holier than he is.
dykstra. they’re gonna nail “nails”.
@41 john carney?
-ron blarney
yep…it’s Atticus
Galleon co-founder Gary Rosenbach. It still doesn’t make sense that he wasn’t charged also unless he was a FBI tiper.
Goldman Sax. All of dem gold digging greedy thieves.
- Public Outrage
The Halal meat vendor on Wall Street
41 must be referring to the short seller who likes to party with the prosti-fucker.
Dan Loeb
@48 pretty sure 41 was jokingly referring to jim cramer, as there is definitely no insider trading going on at kynikos.
Samberg.
Which fund manager pays the most in commissions to Wall Street (i.e. which fund are Wall Street firms so desperate to please that some could potentially do anything)?
Cramer
ken griffin
Tracy Morgan
@ Anal_yst,
Last I heard he was marrying that 30th and 8th curb worker of a girlfriend, Bess has the photo.
Though 17 does make a point, Michael Bolton might have pushed him off the dock of the bay and that hook ain’t good for swimming….
@9 Millennium has already been busted 8 or 9 times. Remember the guy who was trading mutual funds after the fund closed for the day? Unless you mean Izzy Englander himself will be busted. He’s the teflon don of securities fraud.
Oh, I say Renaissance Capital. 170 Russian Ph.D’s acting as a front for insider trading.
#50 = Chanos covering his ass?
Galleon @ 590 Madison Ave
SAC @ 540 Madison Ave
I think there’s a Krispy Kreme between the two. Just sayin’.
@59 they’re not even in the same building. you realize there are a shit ton of funds in between them, right?
It will be the other tech and healthcare investor hedge funds. Remember Cantillon, tech guys who shut down? I wonder about them. What about GLG Partners? That also wouldn’t surprise me.
@60
How much is a shit ton? Is it more than an ass load?
@62: “Shit ton” falls below “ass load”, and both are smaller than a “metric ass ton”.
- Bureau of Weights & Measures
@61 u so right. Gotta be people who spoke to Cheesi, Raj, that Moodys analyst etc ….
Samberg, who quickly realizes that his only chance of dying outside of prison means rolling over on all his connections starting with John Mack!!!! A Wet Dream!
Charles Gasparino
@52 I see you are clearly talking about Stevie at SAC Capital. They had a tech fund for a while right?
Meredith Whitney…At least she’d look better than the tranny version of Briget Nelson doing the perp walk.
Balloon Boy
Shia LeBoeuf
-budd fox
Balloon Boy’s wacko dad
Ronald Reagan
Anybody with a house in St. Barts…
- Turks & Caicos
Rupert Pupkin
Let’s wildly speculate for a moment about how LaB’s performance in the upcoming blockbuster–Wall Street II–will boost the image of those hard at work on the Street. Following a rough and tumble year in the markets, and the latest flexing of muscle by MS and her high achieving university grads, I put my money on Shia and his pathetic pocket square to redraw the image of industry. We’re not all cheats and theives. We are skinny-jean wearing, helmet-clad, Megan Fox-magnet, money making machines. Right?
Can’t wait.
Jeremiah Wright
It will be much of an anti-climax to all:
1. Ruth
2. Andy
3. Mark
4. Peter
5. Shayna
6. Eric
7. Walter
8. Andres
9. Jeffry
10. Bob
at 61 & 64, Cantillon was neither a Tech shop nor a Healthcare shop.
My guess for next perp walk is that guy at Zero Hedge. What’s that you say, the SEC already banned him for life from the securities industry??
artis capital mgt. – stu peterson
Sh*t…I hate being late, but Kynikos and SAC are at the top of my list. Citadel too.
But the discovery process should be easy. Go find the middle tier of prime brokers, and drop in unannounced on their sales teams. Whatever manager with over $1bil AUM is attached to the cock currently in their mouth, he’s a good candidate.
Oh, and there will be a few dozen sub-200MM wannabes who I’m sure are thinking their insider trading moves are smooth like glass.
@80 with you on SAC/Citadel but no fucking way on Kynikos.
I remember when I interviewed at Citadel out of college for what must have been their long short fund and I asked them about their edge. The guy said something like “Well, because we are Citadel we can usually get someone pretty high up on the phone for our analysts to talk to”… Never thought much of that until now…
I heard they shut down that group a year ago though…
Leon Shaulov. Total scumbag.
Kudlow!
Firms with former Galleon employees (prior to today’s exodus):
SAC
Incremental Capital
Bascom Hill Partners
Broadfin Capital
Pioneerpath Capital
apparently wells notices have already gone out to the people getting fingered this week. SAC is a name that keeps coming up. maybe wishful thinking.
Jon Corzine, if only we were so lucky.
@80, 81, 82:
I’d be very, very surprised by Citadel and I’d conjure that you don’t have any reason to mention them here aside from them being a big name. The place is a bunch of boy scouts. They never get close to the line on trading on inside info and why the hell would Ken risk that? I’ve heard of several times when they did get info that was close to the line (which they did not seek out but, say, was told to them unsolicited by a shady consultant) which they then went to legal with, which forced the whole firm to get restricted from trading in that stock.
Plus @82 there was (at the time) no specific long/short fund. Global Equities is the biggest business at the firm, it’s not shut down.
Gary has been mentioned…what about other early Galleon founders like Krishen Sud
Has to be SAC, Atticus/Tremblant. Looking at the 13Fs these guys seems to be trading with each other
JGoldman
Balyasny – BAM
Jacob Gottleib and BAM
Jacob Gottleib and BAM
Howie Schachter is JGoldman
G2nQkk I think this is a real great blog post. Awesome.