To: DealbreakerFrom: [redacted]
Subject: Shia LaBeouf
Most unhappy with Mr. LaBeouf yesterday. He was filming in front of a co-op at 66th and Park. My daughter is ten and between takes the crew was nice enough to let her get close to him. He was sitting in a red Prius looking very very nervous about his next scene which was difficult- sitting in the passenger seat of a car as it drove up to the co-op. Anyway, we got about 10 feet from him, my daughter waved, smiled and he just sat there completely mortified to realize his fan base is a bunch of tweens. I actually think I saw him sweating, the little runt. How can this teenage guy (who weighs 95 pounds) represent Wall Street?! Very puzzling casting decision.
PS: I’m an Upper East Side mom who works at a hedge fund so I’m probably not in LaBeouf’s target audience myself but have to say, even as a hot divorcée who would do pretty much anything at this point, I would NOT hit it.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:08PM
hot hedge fund mom: CALL ME
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:08PM
My thought exactly, can we get a phone number for this Cougar. I will let he take care of me with her hedge fund strategy and I will make sure to "take care of her".
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:09PM
Bessm, I don't think she wanted her name redacted.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:10PM
did you say ANYTHING?
- Dennis "Furry" Kneale
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:10PM
Ill show you a real wall street man honey.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:11PM
I'm a hedge fund manager. What is a hot mom?
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:12PM
Does she work at handbridge capital?
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:14PM
hey! I'm the only hedge fund hottie mom!
-julie macklowe
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:16PM
I know who this mom is. She blew me at the rich cougars event.
Posted by Joe Mac , Oct 23, 2009 12:16PM
Hedge Fund Moms are the new killin' it!
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:17PM
SAC?
Posted by Last Man Standing , Oct 23, 2009 12:17PM
hot hedge fund mom, do you work at O.E.?
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:17PM
Why is Greg's mom writing to Bess about this encounter instead of to her son?
Posted by Joe Mac , Oct 23, 2009 12:19PM
Hedge Fund Moms are the new killin' it!
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:19PM
@13 dude, shut up. we're talking about a hot hedge fund mom hurtin' for a squirtin'. take your greg drivel elsewhere.
Posted by pfluger , Oct 23, 2009 12:22PM
One day, when dey make a movie about me, I will sign autographs for all da kids. I may come off as a tough guy, but undaneath, I gotta heart-a-gold.
-cg
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:23PM
@cg will you hit their moms after?
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:24PM
Leboof is no virgin sturgeon.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:27PM
Bess send her a Handbridge shirt for the tip.
Love the tagline...Bess you always do right by us.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:28PM
Seems DK gave Shia a ride home the night before and he woke up with a burning sensation in his mancision. He was wating for a call back from the guynecologist.
Posted by pfluger , Oct 23, 2009 12:29PM
@17:
It all depends. You see, wit my celebrity, I have chicks offering themselves to me every minute of da fuckin' day. I get a little sick-a-it to tell-ya-da-truth.
I am a stud and I get more broads den fuckin' Wilt Chamberlain. I got dese Eye-Talian phrenomes dat da chicks just can't resist.
-cg
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:29PM
@ 12. No.
I'll take the first guy I see after 5:15pm this afternoon on the northwest corner of 66/Park that looks hot and propositions me.
Posted by POMPOMLOVE , Oct 23, 2009 12:32PM
Throw the hook and give this a try.
Nyah
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:32PM
Bork bork bork.
Posted by FI Nagler , Oct 23, 2009 12:33PM
Hot hedge fun mom? Been there done that, give me a Hot PE Mom
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:35PM
I think 22 is really her. Hot HF mom, can bess give us your contact info?
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:35PM
Sadly, Shia has the general size of a lot Wall Street Analysts right out of school, so maybe the casting directors did get it right.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:36PM
It's a fake. UES 'tween would have been in school at the time they were filming. The nanny/au pair would have been moving the kid back and forth from school.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:36PM
@27 he's not supposed to play a first year analyst, he's supposed to be some hot shot trader. at the very least they should've given him some tits.
-ping j
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:38PM
@28 wrong- they filmed a scene last night, around 8/9 PM
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:39PM
From the writing style, I'd say the author is Roomy Khan...
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:39PM
Hot HF Mom = will end up in the 8th circle of hell according to Dante. Guess for what.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:39PM
Wonder what the 10-year old daughter thinks about her mom putting out feelers on DB and considering "hitting" guys half her age.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:40PM
it moved.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:40PM
that's about a 2 roper (no pic, but i have a good imagination)
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:41PM
@33 the daughter presumably doesn't read DB.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:41PM
LaBoe is not for hot hedge fund moms,
but for hot hedge fund guys.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:43PM
Dear Hot Hedge Fund Mom,
Are you sure he wasn't sitting in/on a Priapus?
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:45PM
Dear HF Mom: I am 275 lbs and have a hairy back, would you "hit" me?
I will be at the corner of 66th and Park tonight, Yankees cap, blue sweatpants, 24 oz can of Bud in a paper bag. Cum 'n' git it.
Posted by Investorcluzo , Oct 23, 2009 12:47PM
wait, when did karen finerman get a divorce?
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:48PM
This Mom is named: Melanie Nunes Fronckowiak
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:50PM
@cluzo she didn't say she owns a hedge fund, but works at one. probably investor relations.
Posted by just a regular guy with regular problems , Oct 23, 2009 12:53PM
@33: I, too am wondering about the 10-year-old. VS Pink?
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:53PM
Like a sturgeon
Dennis Kneale
Posted by Apollo , Oct 23, 2009 12:59PM
10? too old... hot hedge fund mom? too young.
Gotta hit those shoulder years!
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 12:59PM
I'm wondering about the Prius.
-guy who likes to fuck cars
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:01PM
"Keep fuckin that chicken."
Posted by Apollo , Oct 23, 2009 1:01PM
@22 Dear Hot Hedge Fund Mom,
With or without clothes? Let's just cut the frills here..
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:02PM
@ 39, uh no.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:05PM
hey mother, want another?
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:10PM
@45, right? Gotta be either Easy-Ups or Depends.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:11PM
@32, which Chasm of Fraud in the 8th circle of Hell are you referring to? No. 10?
Some pretty kinky stuff going on down in that circle. I'm surprised no one has opened an S&M bar called The Eighth Circle.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:11PM
"I'm gonna be the syrup, she can be my waffle."
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:24PM
@52 I was referring to her being a seducer and a hypocrite (a hot HF mom is hypocritical)
-32
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:26PM
"a hot HF mom is hypocritical"
'tard-bag, did you mean to say "an oxymoron"? also, there are plenty of hot hf moms.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:27PM
@52, since the 8th circle of hell is called "Malebolge" I think you'd be limiting your potential customers to a gay S&M crowd.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:38PM
32+52+56=homos
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:41PM
57+balls=eunuch
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:41PM
I work at 68th/Park at the Council on Foreign Relations and have some finance experience. Im tall, tan, and not currently being sued by my former employer
Bob Rubin
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Oct 23, 2009 1:42PM
La Boof is Generation Z derivative of birth control fallout - particularly now that hot hedge fund moms are probably giving birth to children in between those shot things they get now.
Pull out, aim it at her tits Eddie, for the good of mankind.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:45PM
@58 pretty sure your equation is missing a term.
- another former Lehman Quant
Posted by DJ LIBOR , Oct 23, 2009 1:48PM
@34...FTW!
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 1:59PM
see you all at 5:15. I'm dripping wet.
HHFM
Posted by Apollo , Oct 23, 2009 2:00PM
One very important question has been left unanswered:
HHFM: Was said 10 year old a caesarian or all naturale?
Get back to me ASAP as I am currently planning out our lives together..
Posted by FUNdamental , Oct 23, 2009 2:02PM
Thank god Polanski wasn't directing this film!
Posted by NakedShort , Oct 23, 2009 2:14PM
Please be Karen Finerman.....
Posted by nik@nite , Oct 23, 2009 2:18PM
Thats Sheia dude looks like the 2nd cumming of that cry baby sniffer, corey feldman.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 2:27PM
@43 I like where your heads at and I am right there with you
Posted by Alphaholic_Anonymous , Oct 23, 2009 3:58PM
Speaking of head...
Posted by MiddleOfficeLower , Oct 23, 2009 4:00PM
Hot divorcée => been ignored and mistreated for too long, or perhaps looking to get own her back. Either way, look me up ;)
You can bet I'll get down there & not come up until you've had more than enough... ;)
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 5:35PM
@56... No argument. There has to be such a bar in Amsterdam or Berlin. The closest NYC ever got was the Mineshaft, but that was closed years ago.
Posted by guest , Oct 23, 2009 5:36PM
Anyone try to meet this broad at the 5:15 meeting spot?
Posted by pics , Oct 23, 2009 9:09PM
pics or didn\'t happen
Posted by Anonymous Coward , Oct 23, 2009 10:29PM
@56 and 71 It's been done. In the 1980s, I recall a seedy bar down in the Village called the Ninth Circle. It had a pitch dark back room for drugs, sex or what ever turned your crank. Those were the days.
Posted by guest , Oct 24, 2009 10:14AM
hedge fund mom
do you happen to like milk steak, raw jellybeans, and of course riot punch
Posted by guest , Oct 24, 2009 10:53AM
@74, hence the term Circle jerking.
Posted by guest , Oct 24, 2009 9:06PM
No worries, even though Hedge Fund mum and others don't find Shia Labeouf hot, Carey Mulligan does...
http://fartingcamel.com/2009/10/23/labeouf-mulligan/
Posted by guest , Oct 25, 2009 10:44PM
This is guy is a fucking twat.
Stan FUCKING O'neal
Posted by guest , Oct 26, 2009 9:47PM
Shes's got a point.
He's no Gordon Gekko.
Posted by Aspiring analyst , Oct 28, 2009 9:10AM
Hot HFMom,
Meet me at the 4 Seasons. Ask for the BofAmeria suite.
Tnx,
AC