erin callan.jpgAs we’ve discussed before, Nomura’s acquisition of Lehman’s internal operations has not gone as smoothly as everyone had hoped. The Lehman employees are being very difficult, all but refusing to submit to their new employer’s way of doing things. Particularly the women. Despite being told that short sleeves are not acceptable, as they are the clothes of whores, these Lehman ladies apparently spent the summer just absolutely slutting it up. I’m talking sleeveless tops. I’m talking silk shirts. I’m talking bright nail polish. Well no more! The summer’s over, and you’ve had your kicks. It’s time to lock it up and know what else? This goes for any of the men straddling the line between “upstanding businessman” and gigolo. And don’t give me this shit that you couldn’t understand the memo. One short sleeve, one red nail– and I mean one– and you’re gone.

A recent e-mail politely reminded staff in Nomura’s Tokyo headquarters that “gay colour nail polish and manucure” fell outside the company’s strict dress code. The trading floor was also left baffled by guidelines on the correct type of trousers: “Wear the one gives to the ankle to the height of pants”. The awkwardly-worded memo, which one former Lehman Brothers recipient described as “sounding like a Japanese VCR instruction manual from the ’80s” was an attempt to rein-in bankers’ attire after the long, relatively permissive days of summer.
With autumn now arrived those carefree, tie-less months are gone and the winter dress code is in force. “Bare foots”, said the memo, are no longer appropriate. Unsuitable clothes are listed by category. Under the “jacket and suit” heading, for example, bankers are reminded to avoid “the one of lustrous material”. Skirts may neither be extremely short nor be a “skirt that deep slit entered”.

Nomura Dress Code Bans ‘Gay Color Nail Polish’ [Times Online]

Comments (44)

  1. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:47 AM

    Slore!

  2. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    I opened multiple programs to run in the background on Greg’s PC, significantly slowing down his computing experience, limiting his ability to post on dealbreaker, and frustrating him to no end. I can tell by watching him with my binoculars.
    -Jeff Macke

  3. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:52 AM

    A bamboo is burned and bamboo charcoal is being made charcoal.
    When this charcoal is put in water a minus ion accurse, and becomes the water which is good for the body.
    Besides, I can have it use a deodorant.
    http://www.engrish.com/page/2/

  4. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:52 AM

    @2 dude, SHUT UP. just be happy he’s not here and stay focused. your next comment should be about lehman sluts.

  5. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:53 AM

    Entering deep slits FTW!

  6. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:53 AM

    Can we get a posting of said memo?

  7. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:53 AM

    Almost noon and no Greg. Don’t be teasing me Bess. Did you snuff that no talent weasel? And douche.
    Fondly,
    Greg’s Mom

  8. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:54 AM

    So basically everyone there has to dress like Ralphie’s little brother in the Christmas Story. That sucks.

  9. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:54 AM

    She looks so beagle in that pic.

  10. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    I swear I’ve seen Erin Callan at Stone Rose.

  11. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    Now THERE is a woman that would give a guy a mancision

  12. Posted by Deep Slit | October 16, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    I look so regal in that picture.

  13. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 11:59 AM

    She looks semi retarded in that picture.
    Erin Burnett

  14. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:01 PM

    So, is this symptomatic of larger problems with the integration, or are we just having a Brit of fun at Tojo’s and Tokyo Rose’s expense?

  15. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:03 PM

    Hello, I see that you would like to distribute Mr. Sparkle in your home prefacture. Please allow watching of this information commerical.
    Misssterrrr Spaaaaaaarkle!!!

  16. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:05 PM

    She looks like she cries and breaks down a lot.
    I know how to make her feel better, though.
    Just Sayin’

  17. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:06 PM

    does anyone have posting of said memo?

  18. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:06 PM

    deep slit ftw

  19. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    Those the ones breast that old never getted.

  20. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:12 PM

    I would certainly allow her the honor of bleaching my anus.
    DylRat

  21. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    I see no mention in the memo about crotchless boxers.
    -CG

  22. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:19 PM

    What an ugly looking female.

  23. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:19 PM

    A humble apology:
    Admittedly, “slit” was a poor translation. What we meant to say was “slant”.
    Nomura Internal Communications

  24. Posted by Investorcluzo | October 16, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    this is so lost in translation…you must obey!

  25. Posted by pfluger | October 16, 2009 at 12:24 PM

    Whaddya mean dat short sleeves are da “clothes of whores??!”
    I am a respected financial journalist, and best selling author. I wear short sleeves to show the world my massive triceps, and to intimidate my enemies and detractors. Dey fear me.
    -cg

  26. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:26 PM

    All your trouser are belong to us!

  27. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:26 PM

    please come back Greg

  28. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:27 PM

    Crotchless boxers. FTW, imaginative category.

  29. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:28 PM

    again, what’s with all the pics of dudes?!

  30. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:32 PM

    too pant suit
    didnt read

  31. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:35 PM

    What’s the policy on drinking “Pocari Sweat” at work these days?

  32. Posted by Fritzskelly | October 16, 2009 at 12:36 PM

    Awesome…
    Bess, you nailed it again.

  33. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:39 PM

    @14, we’ll go after Lord HawHaw and Axis Sally next

  34. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:40 PM

    Even though you can’t see it in the picture, her hands are locked behind her back, flexing those triceps. Doing her best to look like Mariel Hemmingway in “Personal Best”.

  35. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:41 PM

    Where is Greg?
    Gay color nail polish? Rainbow colors??
    Where is Shia?

  36. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:41 PM

    I just saw Greg come back with 40 balloons from the party store and he is now tying them to a lawn chair in the backyard. Situation fluid. Will update.
    -Greg’s Mom’s Neighbor

  37. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 12:51 PM

    @13 – it’s because everyone knows you never go full retard

  38. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 1:05 PM

    Nomura: we want shallow cunts only!

  39. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    WTF is up with the Greg comments on Bess’s posts? Keep that shit on his worthless posts. Don’t let Greg infect Bess’s work–even tangentially. I shouldn’t have to read his fucking name here.

  40. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 2:06 PM

    @31 – I love the pocari sweat reference. You ever seen their commercial?

  41. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 2:32 PM

    In the picture she looks like she’s reaching back to spread he ass checks apart. Which is typical learned behavior for a Lehman Brothers employee.

  42. Posted by guest | October 16, 2009 at 5:48 PM
  43. Posted by guest | October 19, 2009 at 7:56 AM

    Is Cheri Blair moonlighting as a model?

  44. Posted by guest | October 19, 2009 at 7:56 AM

    Is Cheri Blair moonlighting as a model?

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