You deserve it, and your $25 (JPM), $20 (Goldman), $8 (RBS) meal allowances will only get you so far. The Wall Street Journal shows us how it’s done:
Enter Midtown Manhattan steakhouse Maloney & Porcelli’s “Expense-a-Steak” tool. The premise is simple: enter the amount of your restaurant bill, click “EXPENSE IT!”, and the program automatically generates a print-ready page of fake receipts for work-related expenses like office supplies and cab fare totaling the same amount — so power-lunchers can enjoy their steak frites without drawing the boss’s ire.
“We can tell it’s been kicking around those places,” said Mr. Webster. “Morgan Stanley, Bank of America, Citibank, American Express, J.P. Morgan all have like 100 unique visits from their offices.”
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Last week we were informed of the unbelievable news that 1st/2nd/3rd year sales&trading analysts head been led to believe (by their own assumptions) that they’d be getting 10k salary bumps because 1st/2nd/3rd year banking analysts got raises and fair is fair. Apparently not in Phil Mickelson’s house! The s&t’ers got nothing, and what stung the most, we’re told, is that HR didn’t even think to say it was sorry for getting the junior rainmakers’ hopes up. Today, it gets even worse. From an associate who, Bob Diamond I hope you’re listening good and hard, is thisclose to considering the possibility of maybe leaving if a more desirable situation (a call back from Dick Fuld’s new shop) presents itself:
Just a heads up, the same call/conversation took place with the IBD analysts/associates last week. The analysts had their conference call first in which they were told they would be getting a $10k bump to $70k/$80k/$90k (1st/2nd/3rd). All the associates heard the cheering on the floor and when we found out what was going on, expected the same bump on our call scheduled for 15 minutes after the analyst call. Needless to say, we didn’t get the bump. We were told the firm would “reevaluate” the base salary situation in march (most likely after everyone has already left for other firms). What’s more, the folks coming in through the Barclays side get paid $10k more than the Lehman associates.
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Joe Stiglitz may be warning about irrational exuberance in the markets right now, but the Washington-based think tank, Centre for Economic and Policy Research (CEPR), has their eye on the Kool aid the IMF was selling over the past couple years. A little over a week since the IMF gave themselves a pat on the back for a job well done during the crisis, the CEPR argues that, if anything, the IMF should be asking for forgiveness for making the situation worse.
In a paper analysing the IMF’s agreements with 41 borrowing countries during the crisis, the Washington-based Centre for Economic and Policy Research (CEPR) found that 31 of the agreements contained so-called “pro-cyclical” macroeconomic policies, which – in the face of a significant slowdown in growth or in a recession – would be expected to exacerbate the downturn.
“In many cases the fund’s pro-cyclical policies were based on over-optimistic assumptions about economic growth,” said the thinktank. This means the measures proposed were too restrictive for the countries involved and did not produce the longer-lasting economic growth predicted
But the potential future global lender of last resort is not going to take smack talk like that lying down. Whether you throw insults or shoes their way, the IMF stands tall.
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So after almost a year of hearing about how naked short selling nearly destroyed the human race, you’ve decided that it’s in your best interest to know exactly what people are talking about. Given all the attention its received, you might even want to know how to do it yourself. But you’ve been looking for a step-by-step primer on the mechanics of naked short selling and haven’t found the right one yet. You want something that provides text and video detailing what to do while also describing the grey regulatory area you’re taking advantage of. Look no further. Thanks to MT, you’ve got one now.
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The latest issue of the New Yorker has a story on Larry Summers and his back-up dancers, i.e. Obama’s economic team. Obviously when we talk about Summers, we talk about two things: his predilection for Diet Coke and for sleeping during important meetings. Concerning the former, what does the president’s top adviser do when he wants somea that in his bloodstream, ASAP? When he’s at the White House there’s a dedicated team of servant boys whose sole purpose is to stand very still against the wall at the back of Summer’s office, loaded turkey basters in hand.* At the slightest cock of an eyebrow, the boys know what to do. (Tim Geithner has also been tasked with the responsibility of collecting Summers’ tissue spunk for chemists to analyze how elevated LS’s testosterone levels are and using the data to track down to the minute when he might get a hankering for a hit.)
It’s when Summers ventures out of the comforts of the WH–his aides don’t travel with– that things get dicey. Some offices aren’t stocked with soft drinks. Some people he takes meetings with don’t know to look for facial cues. Some amateurs who maybe don’t want to see a recovery wait until it’s too late to get the big man what he needs.
Summers looked exhausted. The previous day, he hadn’t left the White House until after midnight, and he was up at dawn to make the flight to Detroit. As Granholm talked about layoffs, he eyed a bottle of soda on the table in front of her. Summers drinks many Diet Cokes a day, and he was badly in need of one. He got up, his shirttails peeking out from underneath his jacket, and shuffled over to a counter at the side of the room in search of a caffeinated beverage. All he found was an empty glass, which he carried back to his seat. The manufacturers took turns explaining their plight. Wes Smith, of E. & E. Manufacturing, argued that although the public hates bailouts, “helping manufacturing is popular.”
As they spoke, Summers caught [Governor Jennifer] Granholm’s attention and mimed a request for some of her soda. She moved the bottle closer to him, smiling. He drank quickly, but it didn’t help. He shifted his weight in his chair. He made jerky, shaking motions with his head. He ran a hand through his hair. Still, by the time Mario Sciberras, of Saline Lectronics, was speaking about what he would do with one of the new loans, Summers was asleep. This is something of a habit: he has fallen asleep in two public meetings–and, reportedly, one private meeting–with the President this year.
Obviously there’s no one to blame here but Jennifer. So what happened next? Was the entire meeting shot to shit? Was Summers out for the next hour? Did they have to go back over everything he missed during nap time? I think not.
*There’s no time to pop open a can or unscrew a top. They’re like a firing squad back there.
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It look literally every trick in the book to keep California afloat this year. But what some people call tricks others simply refer to as illegal.The Golden State could face as much as $4.7 billion in payouts to atone for its alleged sins. While the ends may justify the means when it comes to Italian tax amnesty, the same cannot be said for the Governator’s efforts to keep California from drowning.
The state’s highest court slapped the governor for illegally raiding mass-transit funds to the tune of $3.4 billion — potentially costing this year’s budget $1.2 billion.
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He appreciates everything everyone’s done at Citi, but it’s time to move on. Just pack up your shit, and mosey on out of the place. Hit the bricks. Be gone. This has nothing to do with someone itching to reclaim his title as the single largest shareholder of the bank, BTW, or Geithner acting like a priss when asked to clean up AbT’s horse’s shit (though it would’ve been nice if he could’ve checked his attitude at the door). Everyone at Citi has learned their lesson and the adult supervision is no longer necessary. All good in the hood.
“The earlier the U.S. government exits its investments in those companies, the better,” as long as the withdrawal is not done in a way that hurts the prices of U.S. banking stocks, the Saudi billionaire was quoted as saying in an interview published on Sunday.
“We need to give confidence back to the shareholders and investors that these companies are moving along without government support.”
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Unfortunately the money’s going in the pocket of the pawn shop that auctioned Dykstra’s shit off a few weeks back, so don’t think this means he’s in any position to hire lawyers or move out of his car just yet. But! The fact that a bunch of people were willing to shell out over a hundo thousand for LD’s crap– the entire lot went for more than $162,000 compared to the lowball estimate of $60,000– does seem promising. Nails’ 1986 World Series ring alone went for $56,762.50 to an unknown buyer in Queens. Just imagine what we could get for LD’s “Discarded Dips Of Distinction,” a collection of chewing tobacco from the great moments in his illustrious career, tastefully encased in a white gold-flecked display case. We market this thing right and L-Dyks could potentially be back in the black by the end of the year, at which time he can focus on the important things, like this writing career and sharing accumulated pearls of wisdom like this with the world.
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The following post is by a hedge fund manager friend of DB who shall remain nameless. He runs the emerging markets desk at his firm.
Last week, Côte d’Ivoire and its creditor committee reached an agreement on a restructuring of the African country’s defaulted Brady bonds. Your correspondent, at the risk of showing his age, admits his involvement in the birth of the Bradies back in 1998, at the crest of a wave of optimism about Africa. Abidjan, no longer a defaulter, proudly hosted the emerging markets lending community at African Development Bank annual meetings a few weeks later. Côte d’Ivoire’s payments lasted longer than the African boom, but still managed only three coupon payments before lapsing into default.
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People on both sides of the divide are raising the stakes for the massive game of regulatory poker set for the fourth quarter. Senior officials from France and Italy joined Timmy G in calling for meaningful regulatory reforms to protect against the types of “perverse incentives” that led the global economy to assume its current position. But before politicians turn knee-jerk reactions into law, members of the Institute of International Finance made it known that there is another side to forcing banks to ask for a hall pass every time they want to go to bathroom.
Deutsche Bank CEO Josef Ackermann, who also chairs the Institute of International Finance trade group of the world’s largest banks, warned in a statement that “official regulatory reforms must be balanced, and the trade-offs involving possibly lower global growth and less job creation need to be carefully considered.”
However, the risk of muted economic growth is nothing compared to what another senior member of the IIF believes is in jeopardy here.
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BofA To Select Emergency CEO (WSJ)
Bank of America is expected to pick someone this week to potentially take over the event Ken Lewis “is forced to step down” before the end of the year, so if you’ve got any suggestions, do share. Also: “Government officials are expected to tell the bank if they don’t approve of specific names, essentially giving the U.S. government informal veto power.”
Goldman To Be Paid 1 Billion If CIT Fails (FT)
Others (the US taxpayer, not so much): “The payment stems from the structure of a $3bn rescue finance package that Goldman extended to CIT on June 6 2008, about five months before the Treasury bought $2.3bn in CIT preferred shares to prop it up at the height of the crisis. The potential loss for taxpayers would be the biggest to crystalise so far from the government’s capital injection plan for banks.”
Gang Of Nine Tales
Neil Barofksy: Paulson lies!!!
Roubini Says Stocks Have Risen ‘Too Soon, Too Fast’ (Bloomberg)
“Markets have gone up too much, too soon, too fast,” Roubini said in an interview in Istanbul on Oct. 3. “I see the risk of a correction, especially when the markets now realize that the recovery is not rapid and V-shaped, but more like U- shaped. That might be in the fourth quarter or the first quarter of next year.”
Lehman Creditors To Get Payout Plan (WSJ)
The administrator for Lehman’s operations in London plans to seek permission to remove the claims from U.K. courts and dole out assets directly to creditors, if enough hedge funds are willing to go along with the move.
Sheila Bair Turns Up The Heat In Istanbul (NYP)
The FDIC chair said she wants to regulate not just banks but hedge funds as well, and then turned heads in a plunging neckline later that night.
HSBC chief fears a second downturn (FT)
“Is this a V recovery or a W?” Mr Geoghegan asked in an interview with the FT. “[I think] it’s the latter. [If I'm right], we have to be very careful we don’t grow the balance sheet so far before the recovery has come only to write it back into the impairment line later on. I’m cautious about growing too fast.”
