Or just Christmas for legacy Merrill employees? We just received the following tip:
No Christmas parties this year for ML offices.
Archive for October 2009
Yesterday we mentioned the harrowing, life-shattering news that Bloomberg had removed the function that allowed you to see how many people were clicking your profile, and checking your shit out, as confirmed by a Help Desk representative. Today, it’s back. Not that we’re not thrilled for those you who enjoy the idea of people watching you, but we’re just wondering why the sudden about face?
With the economic panic currently gone, you’d like to believe bailout loans now require a demonstrated need for the additional cash, not just a checking account. The administration needs some assurance that the applicant in question is operating as a unified organization with a sound business model that simply needs a few billion (more) to get them free and clear of their troubled past. Words come cheap so you better be able to point to something specific that shows your organization is operating as one in this fight. Luckily for GMAC, now they’ve got one.
Pay Czar Wants No Wider Authority (WSJ)
Great news! Kenneth Feinberg does not want to oversea the pay of any firms beyond the 7 special ones he’s already policing, despite some Congressmen urging the Compensation Cop to go crazy one everyone’s asses. (Vikula et al still loose.)
Buffett Beats Gross in Global Poll as Investor With Most Wisdom (Bloomberg)
When your need advice on insurance companies or sex, the Oracle is apparently where most people go to get it. If he’s got his hands tied with some buxom prosties: “The closest runner-up, Bill Gross, the founder and co- chief investment officer of Pacific Investment Management Co., is chosen by 16 percent. Billionaire investor George Soros gets 10 percent, followed by Nouriel Roubini, the New York University professor who in 2006 predicted the financial crisis, and Marc Faber, publisher of the Gloom, Boom & Doom Report. Fewer than 1 in 10 cited Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, despite high marks for his performance as a central banker. Only 3 percent pick Alan Greenspan, the former Fed chairman.”
Galleon Paid Banks Millions For ‘Edge’ (FT)
One executive who dealt with Galleon said: “They wanted anything the public did not have. They got various pieces and put them together and that was their edge.” A former Goldman executive who provided services to funds including Galleon said: “They were tough and aggressive. They cared about short-term returns and cared a lot about the impact of their trading and the costs. They expected a lot of market information.” Serious question: since when is this a crime?
Accountant Sentenced To House Arrest In UBS Tax Case (NYT)
The real kicker here is that apparently the authorities aren’t going to tolerate this kind of thing anymore, because they know you know it’s illegal: “Thousands, if not millions, of taxpayers now know what the legal landscape is,” Judge Cooke said. “Now, we will not tolerate offshore tax evasion.”
K1 Hedge Fund Said to Be Linked to FBI Money-Laundering Sting (Bloomberg)
Homes and offices raided.
$$$ Matt Goldstein: Galleon Shows Need For Hedge Fund Disclosure [Reuters]
$$$ InBev buy of Anheuser-Busch exposes boys club? [The Deal]
$$$ Paul Tudor Jones Goes For Gold [DB]
$$$ Madoff losses totaled so far at $21.2 billion; $530 million paid back [WaPo]
Photos from Jamie Dimon’s yearbook at the Browning School have surfaced. While I sit here at my desk not knowing what to do with myself, you do your parts and fill in the standard: “The tie says [this], but the jean shirt/turtleneck/tie combo says [that].”
There are more.
As anybody who works in government will tell you, politics is an exercise in choosing your words very carefully. And at this critical point in time the Fed, Treasury, regulators and lawmakers all need to be crystal clear about how to achieve a sustainable economic recovery. No more vague, ambiguous statements. Rep. Alan Grayson certainly understands this and demonstrated his mastery of the concept by summarizing where he stands on one of the Beard’s advisers, Linda Robertson, by declaring her a “K Street whore”. There aren’t too many ways to spin that one to claim that you were somehow misunderstood or your words were taken out of context. And, being the guy he is, AG offered up an apology.
“I offer my sincere apology to Linda Robertson, an adviser to Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke. I did not intend to use a term that is often, and correctly, seen as disrespectful of women,” Grayson said in a statement. “This characterization of Ms. Robertson, made during a radio interview last month in the context of the debate over whether the Federal Reserve should be independently audited, was inappropriate, and I apologize.”
What a huge breath of fresh air. We finally have a politician who can admit he was wrong and refuses to hide behind some completely ridiculous explanation to get him off the hook.
Here’s some really awful news sure to shake you to the core. You know that function on your Bloomberg that let’s you see how many times your profile has been accessed? Of course you do, you check daily. Everyone does, even the big guys. It might not seem like that big a deal, and of course there are easier venues through which to stalk people, but be honest: you get off on knowing people are looking at you. Watching you. Seeing if you’ve been referenced in any business articles lately. But those days are over. Some of you probably noticed something awry a few days ago but didn’t want to jump to such a horrible conclusion. Fortunately, some banker chickadee, also reeling from the revelation, set out to get proof, and then passed it around to her comrades at work. On the bright side it appears that while the function has indeed been removed, Bloomberg has made its staff available to help you masturbate to your own existence while on the desk, in the event you need a helping hand.
It’s a good thing Jamie Dimon believes “corporations are flush with cash” because his is still $1.5 million short thanks to Antoine Walker. In support of his candidacy for NBA representative to the Professional Athlete Financial Disaster Union, Walker can claim owing $1.5 million apiece to JPM and Wachovia, $53,000 to American Express, and $450,000 to his former agent. But you don’t become a 3-time All-Star just by putting up gaudy numbers. You need to demonstrate the intangibles. Such as facing felony check fraud charges to the tune of $1 million courtesy of several Vegas casinos. While the list of unpaid debts is impressive, the speed with which Walker was able to legitimize his candidacy is what sets him apart from the competition. So how exactly do you make being paid close to $10 million/year for 12 years vanish?
It’s an age-old question that deserves revisiting every now and then. BroBible has complied a list of its 12 favorite business bitches and while we think it’s definitely a decent start, with your collective expertise we can really nail this thing.
Personally, the bones we have to pick are a) that this isn’t a ranking but just general love-fest. Those things have their place but not here. This is a serious cutthroat competition. Line ‘em up, top to bottom. b) Some entries on the list seem to be the result of the authors have created the thing from the inside of a time machine and c) The lack of Bloomberg representation, especially from someone who is working overtime on the job and had the business sense to take a page from the Amanda Drury playabook. And speaking of the Druries, they’re present and accounted for after the jump. Let’s show a little teamwork and make this thing something to be proud of. Add, subtract and annotate at this time.
For some of Sir Allen’s victims, the playbook for getting back to even includes a chapter on a multi-billion dollar suit against the Antiguan government. You might think suing an entire government was little more than a knee-jerk reaction to the news Antigua’s chief banking supervisor, and Allen Stanford blood brother, Leroy King did his part to help the knight pull off his charade. But the victims appear to be quite serious about their own blood quest. If reason alone won’t convince the Caribbean island to pay up, maybe making them sweat about where their next development dollar is going to come from will do the trick.
