With the agonizing process of determining what the best of the worst should be paid this year behind him, the Pay Czar offered up some thoughts on the process this time around and what the future holds for the executives lucky enough to have their names come across his desk. Even though he “wouldn’t begin to say how much money you should make on Wall Street”, KF was able to say how much money you should expect at a bailed out bank on Wall Street. In fact, he was pretty precise about it. So you’d think the master of compensation numbers would have some detailed, specific words of wisdom for the future.
Archive for October 2009
What Should Charlie Gasparino’s Memoirs On (Possibly) Smoking Dope With Jimmy Cayne Be Called?
By Bess LevinThis is from the prologue of Charlie Gasparino’s book, in which the Sellout author discusses having dinner at a Chinese restaurant with Jimmy Cayne on August 5, 2007.
When we sat down this was a different Jimmy Cayne than I had known for so long. I had always considered Cayne, now seventy-three, a youthful man. He loved to smoke cigars, and as he stated on more than one occasion he had also smoked pot (Cayne once attempted to hand me what looked like a joint in the Bear Stearns elevator).
From there Chaz goes on to discuss what in Cayne’s drug-addled mind was apparently supposed to be a diss (“…[Cayne] worked out regularly and hung out with clients and friends at San Pietro, where he spun tales about his Wall Street exploits– how he’d kicked the crap out of the competition, [like] the hated ‘Stanley Morgan,’ as he used to refer to the investment bank Morgan Stanley”), failing to revisit the matter. Why? I think you know why. How do you think Jimmy Cayne became such a huge source for Gaspo? This is Journalism 101. When we called Charlie up to press the subject further he told us, “My comment is simply this: I’m gonna save that for my next book.” Since CG has now more or less admitted to hotboxing that elevator like there was no tomorrow in pursuit of a story, the first in a series of many, many events just like it (enough to write an entire tome subject), we figured we’d better get to work helping him pen the definitive book on JC’s crisis to scrounge enough money to buy chips. Here’s a mock-up of the cover:
And some sample chapters:
Piss In This Cup: The guys go searching for a clean urine sample to appease the board of Bear Stearns.
That Stupid Fuckin’ Poster: Charlie goes absolutely postal over his inability to solve the Magic Eye.
$$$ “Raj has retained John Dowd of the Washington, D.C.-based firm Akin Gump to represent him going forward, and we are pleased Raj will continue to get great legal representation from such a fine group of lawyers,” Mr. Walden said in a statement. “Rest assured, his team will not miss a beat and is already well prepared to help him fight these charges and clear his name.” [Dealbook]
$$$ J-Vanka Will Have a Second Wedding Reception for People Who Weren’t Good Enough to Be Invited to the First One [NYM]
$$$ Fink’s Hedge Fund Plans Gold Fund [FINalternatives]
$$$ John Mack on saving Morgan Stanley [Wharton]
Bank of America is spending $40 million to get the message out that from here forward, “simple, clear, and direct” banking will be the order of the day. For example, the mobile alerts feature allows you to do useful things like check your account balance or receive alerts each time a new lawsuit is filed against BAC or there is another casualty in senior management. The bank has gone to great lengths to identify the subtle changes in consumer behavior and is seeking to take a leadership role in the ‘simpler is better’ era.
Jim Buchanan, BofA’s svp-consumer marketing, said the insight for the campaign came from research that showed that consumers were seeking “clarity” in today’s turbulent market. Consumers, he said, were shifting away from “the big national stories around TARP [the government's Troubled Asset Relief bank bailout program] and [stories about bank] nationalization, and really [focusing on] how our products and services can help them get through this difficult economy and back on their feet, and in many places, stay in their homes.”
It sounds like a lot of time and effort has gone into this makeover. So let’s hear what you get for a $40 million facelift.
There are many ways to judge the severity of the recession. You can look at unemployment, GDP, corporate bankruptcies, consumer spending, housing prices, and probably a hundred more pieces of economic data. But perhaps there is no greater indicator that what happened over the past couple of years was a bit more than a minor hiccup than when part of a highly regarded economic data set is phased out of existence. It’s happening soon and measuring the strength of the recovery will be even more difficult now.
Most people don’t typically think of Warren Buffett as a guy with limited options. But before you start wishing you could trade places with the billionaire, the Oracle wants you to know some of the hardships he faces. In an interview with the BBC, WB explains 4:00 in how the average Joe with a cool million or so ready to put to good use in the market can make returns that would leave him green with envy.
[BBC]
Madoff Investor (And Possible Accomplice) Jeffry Picower Drown Due To “Massive Heart Attack”
By Bess Levin…according to his lawyer. Just like Seth Tobias (missed every day).
Were thinking to yourself at some point over the weekend that it’d be pretty sweet to roll up to the office (or a date, whichever) in Bernie’s Benz? Well too slow to the draw, hombres. The Ponz Master’s ride, which went to auction October 23, has been spoken for.
A New Jersey man scooped up the jailed Ponzi schemer’s ride for the cut-rate price of $14,250 on Friday after it went on the block at a U.S. Marshal Service auction in East Brunswick, N.J.
“I enjoy the historical significance of the car,” said proud new owner Gregory Przybylski. “I just don’t know if it’s good or bad history.”
Given the nearly daily lawsuits filed against Bank of America, Ken Lewis must be chomping at the bit to disassociate himself from his current employer. Having already invoked the outrage of a diverse group of people- from Andrew Cuomo to a disgruntled credit card customer to the handicapped to members of the military- BofA has now managed to go too far with a little old lady (and her husband). A BAC broker may have had little regard for the value of the assets he put an 82-year old retiree and his 75-year old wife into, but he did recognize the value of one thing, their trust. While brokers at other institutions have been sued for convincing senior citizens to take the plunge into the world of illiquid investments by some sweet talking and the occasional free lunch, the BAC broker in question went way above and beyond the call to fleece the Florida couple.
So Galleon employees are still rolling up to the office, which makes sense given that Raj has shot down the “baseless” allegations that he did anything wrong, promised the firm that this thing is far from over, and sworn that Galleon will rise again. Nevertheless, things have slowed down a bit from the usual pace pre-shit hitting the fan, and with their resumes already updated, Team G apparently needs some new ways to pass the time.
Had drinks with a friend of mine at Galleon– they are getting paid to show up but the traders are all just watching movies at their desks. DB should send them copies of Boiler Room and Wall Street to pass the time.
We should! And we would, if we didn’t think you guys could come up with some more out of the box titles, since they’ve probably already watched the above, many times (possibly as required viewing for working at the fund). If we want to go topical there’s Shawshank, The Fugitive and Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. But why go topical when they probably want to get their minds of the news off the day? In which case, its really just a matter of taste. How about the entire Made series to date, including the episode “I want to be a model,” in which the subject was told by her coach, “Girl, I’m going to eat you up on the runway,” a line oft quoted by Raj while on the desk? Figure it out by noon and we’ll messenger something over, with snacks.
Shia LaBeouf (and Michael Douglas) working it on set. [NYP]
