Obviously the gut goes with Citi or Bank of America, but no! So this is going to be a tough one. According to the Kraw, who spoke Wednesday night at the Manhattan’s Museum of American Finance, before she took her current gig at as head of wealth management at BAC, she was considering a position at another firm (which she wouldn’t name but described as “troubled”). She was thisclose to signing with them and, truth be told, would’ve never before considered answering to Charlotte. But a series of hints from the universe that included a fractured jaw gave SK a moment’s pause and ultimately drove her into the arms of this guy [motions to Ken Lewis passed out over a toilet seat].
The first was that she overslept the morning of the initial interview, and almost missed her flight. And she’d never overslept in her life! She didn’t have enough time to shower, or even take her PJs off (WTF?) before putting her pantsuit but whatever. SKraw does remember thinking to herself, “this doesn’t feel very good,” but NBD. Water off a duck’s back. The meeting went well, and she scored a follow-up, this time in New York. The next time, things started out more auspiciously.
This was a beautiful spring day. Wearing a new suit and new shoes, she recalled, “I couldn’t have been feeling more pleased with myself.”
So she’s walking, she’s walking, she’s checking out her reflection of the old Bear building, thinking to herself, “Huh, I wonder Jimmy Cayne is up to these days? How weird was it that time he tried to pinch my ass? And what a fine ass it is, amiright? Get a load of that thi–” and BOOM! Girlfriend’s heel gets caught in the crack of a sidewalk and she is down for the count. And I’m not talking a little scrape of the knees fall, I’m talking Sallie Krawcheck, missing a tooth.
“I went flying down onto a grate,” she said. “I stood up, spit out a tooth. Blood was everywhere.”
Still, despite blood gushing out of her mouth, and the thing about missing teeth, she was determined to make the meeting because unlike you people, Sallie Krawcheck isn’t afraid of a few awkward looks exchanged among potential employers on account of the fact that their interviewee has a giant gap in her mouth. Unfortunately, it was not to be.
“I did not make the meeting. Nor did I eat solid food for the next six weeks. I ended up with six stitches, one broken tooth, a hairline jaw fracture, a dislocated jaw and whiplash.”
Eventually, though, she sat down for round two, likely wearing one of those foam neck pads. And management liked what they saw, and made SK an offer.
And then, when she went to sign the employment agreement, “I promptly threw up.
And it was at that moment, right after getting violently ill and just before looking up sheepishly at the guy whose shoes she’s just puked on, that Sallie though, hmm, “I don’t think this is right for me. [I'd better go with the boss who doesn't judge you for getting sick on the job, as long as you have a good reason, namely lunchtime Power Hours].”
Jeffries?
@1 she said troubled, not thriving!
RBS? I know from experience they’ll make ya yak.
-miserable in stamford
thank god she didn’t knock out her gold tooth!
nothing makes me feel better than a new pair of heels, either, sallie.
-ping j
J.T Marlin after an initiation gang bang for the brokers?
Seth Davis
She walked by the Bear Building, which is 383 Madison ave, on 46th and Madison I believe. The closest thing to it is … MORGAN STANLEY.
Whats this story that Wikileaks has a copy of a Bank of America executive’s hard drive??? Lewis? Thain? Bess its yours if you get to it ;)
troubled financial services company = charlie gasparino
quick note that you if you’re moronic enough to be short right now, you dont want to hold over the weekend.
1120+ by the end of opex week for yet another bear mauling. market isn’t going down anytime soon, certainly not this year, despite what various buffoons (like Prechter today) say.
your welcome.
Sallie does not vomit, or spit for that matter.
KL
@10 hi, no one needs your investing advice, champ. see yourself back to yahoo! finance.
-sk
frenetic use of question marks @8– you need to settle yourself. I’m not sure how “finding” this story (ie doing a google search) would make it mine. (And don’t ever use an emoticon when addressing me again.)
http://www.pcworld.com/businesscenter/article/173395/wikileaks_plans_to_make_the_web_a_leakier_place.html
I would spray her in the mug in a very tender and caring way.
I new her back in college – she was a hottie back then, but naive and shy. Got her high at a frat party and she let me in the back door after I told her my cock wasn’t any bigger than one of her massive turds. Try it fellas nest time you’re on a date. My little gift of friendly persuasion to the losers out there.
CG
“…Nor did I eat solid food for the next six weeks. I ended up with six stitches, one broken tooth, a hairline jaw fracture, a dislocated jaw and whiplash.”
sounds like her interview/audition with throatgaggers.com the night before did NOT go well.
15 You are not BS. Only the real CG can spell like that.
@7 was morgan stanley still considered ‘troubled’ last spring?
That’s about an 8 roper
Its all in my book- “Breakin News” she and I, Elaines, well, do I have to go into dirty details?
“I went flying down onto a grate,” she said. “I stood up, spit out a tooth. Blood was everywhere.”
It moved.
damn Bess Levin, you’re on a roll this week. brilliant writing — who else could make Sallie Krawcheck’s orthodontia issues read laugh-out-loud funny?
please tutor Greg in the ways of blogging. thx.
@10 On Saturday mornings at Home Depot, right next to the guy demonstrating how to unclog sanitary napkins from toilets safely, is the class on daytrading. Have fun Douchebag!
I’d hit that.
Dis weak attempt to garnish sympaty won’t do da broad no good.
I stand firmly deposed to her for CEO. Da woild will know, dat I stand deposed!
-cg
I like the soft Sallie pic better than the motivational speaker Sallie pic.
Hint: the Mets, the Jets, and Hoover vacuum cleaners.
SKraw, a$$-crow. Nice.
Good to know that the chick who is eligible for one of the most powerful positions in corp America, couldn’t wake up on time for an interview… of course, if your blanus had been pummeled by yours truly, you would, too.
Since you asked, I warned her not to try to bite off more than she could chew.
@1 so close. But no.
The thread brings to mind the fact that there is a wonderful “broken jaw/wired jaw” related joke that has been around since Spartacus was on the “Wanted” posters.
~The Joke Briefer
You know your in trouble when your jaw needs the handbridge.
@Joke Briefer “Cream & sugar, please?”
She’s never made a loan, run a trading book or sold m&a advice. But she’s qualified to run this bank, right?
She did come in fourth for the Nobel Peace Prize though, after Gasparino and Bono.
The next CEO will fire her immediately to remove a relentless self promoter with truly average ability. By the end of this crisis, we will have real executives in place to sweep up this fooking mess, not student council president types.
Bernstein, a disaster. Citi, a catastrophe..now BofA. She’s the Herman Edwards or Eric Mangini of banking.
35=Legs Callan. Been missing you, babe.
@9 – troubled financial services company = the new killing it, therefore, charlie gasparino = the new killing it
Krawcheck, Callan, or Whitney F/M/K
@37 the troubled financial services company in question is definitely not the new killing it. although they were paying something like 2Y production to sign brokers at the time.
@35
How dare you bring the voice of reason to this conversation?
@34…..The punchline is “(through wired jaws, “Too sweet!! Too sweet”…) I think you were on to it though…
@40/JB, the classics never die.
I’m a big fan, so here’s a little something in return:
To a timely inquiry from Bess,
Almost no one would hazard a guess.
Ironically, rookies,
The Kraw tossed her cookies
Over dealbreaker fave _ _ _.
-34
UBS
#35 You are the new killin’ it!
Total hollow suit. I sat at a table where another female executive took shots at her under her breath. Cracked me up. We all knew she was a self-promoting windbag. Wouldn’t support a product or mgt idea no matter who delivered it…wait, unless it was Prince or Vikram. She would hold these conference calls that bordered on the surreal at times. If BoA promotes her, I am selling my shares. That is just corporate welfare.