November 2009

  • News

    Write-Offs: 11.30.09

    $$$ Carlyle sued by Kuwaiti group over fund [FT] $$$ Charlie Gasparino: Goldman is about to be come a “second tier” bank. [TDB] $$$ Treasury’s Confidential ‘Break The Glass‘ Plan [Andrew Ross Sorkin] $$$ The Fall of Mean Jean [Crain’s] $$$ Canada Somehow Ranks Ahead of Mexico in PwC’s Global Economic Crime Survey [GC] $$$ […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 5:58 PM
  • News

    Lloyd Blankfein To Officiate Chelsea Clinton’s Wedding?

    No one’s said anything but it’s not entirely out of the realm of possibility. At the very least he’ll score an invite to the nuptials of the former first daughter (and current Avenue Capital analyst) to GS employee Marc Mezvinksy, in which case gift ideas would be much appreciated (LB’s not a registry kind of […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 5:28 PM
  • News

    Dick Bové No Longer Just Giving It Away For Free

    Like many a lass from a respectable family, Dick Bové’s mother once cautioned her that no one’s gonna buy the cow when they can get the milk for free, and to “cover up those bosoms, you look like a floozie.” Unfortunately, Divé, young and full of hormones and headstrong like you wouldn’t believe, refused to […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 4:26 PM
  • News

    FYI, Greenwich Connecticut Still Waiting For An Angel

    Last week came the devastating (and, in all seriousness, surprising) news that as a result of the recession, Greenwich’s Christmas lights display would likely be taking a hit this year, having only raised $30,000 for a display that costs a minimum of $45,000 to put on, if we’re talking bare bones, $60,000 if we want […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 2:59 PM
  • News

    Paolo Pellegrini Is Making Himself Smile Now

    Who needs John Paulson? Not Paolo Pellegrini. Canned by JP for his bad attitude, this Italian Stallion knows that living well is the best revenge. And so far, Pellegrini’s PSQR Management is living very well, up almost 65% this year.

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 2:52 PM
  • News

    Barclays Global Head of Investment Banking Writes Tear-Stained Letter To Son’s School, Demands Teacher’s Firing For Trash Talking Barclays, Making Son Cry

    Hugh “Skip” McGee III is not happy. The former Lehman Brothers head of investment banking/current Barclays employee of the same title is specifically not happy with the hippies at The Kinkaid School. You see, kids, The Kinkaid School is an institution Skippy spends good money to send his children to and lately? The commune seems […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 1:45 PM
  • News

    The League Of Nations Didn’t Work Out So Well, Either

    Now renting at a steep discountNot to pile on Dubai today, but we thought we’d offer a hearty congratulations to the crowd of media-hungry, isolationist, rabble-rousing politicians who fought so hard three-and-a-half years ago to keep American ports out of the hands of Dubai Ports World, a subsidiary of Dubai World, formerly thought to be […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 12:56 PM
  • News

    Tell Us Exactly What You Think Of Citigroup

    Feeling bashful? Here, a recent hire– Willem Buiter, as Chief Economist– will start: “Citigroup – a conglomeration of worst-practice from across the financial spectrum.” Now you go. Don’t worry about offending Uncle Vik– he already knows you’re thinking it. Quotes of the Day: Buiter On Citi [Felix Salmon]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 11:59 AM
  • News

    WSJ: Selling 95% Of Failed Banks A Total Screw-Up

    Two regional bank CEOs say they can’t find a failed bank they want to buy. The Wall Street Journal runs a story that makes it seem like the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. is going to be stuck with “a growing pile of terminally ill U.S. banks.” Well, that’s not exactly true: One of the banks […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 11:44 AM
  • News

    Hedge Fund Reveals Vehicular Evidence Of Investor Relations Girl’s Lying, Trampy-Ways

    Thus far in the Nomos Capital case, we’ve heard IR girl Jordana Wimmer’s allegations against her boss, Mark Lowe (that he tried to kill her (several times), he hired hookers to work in the office, he forced Wimmer to be present while he received lap dances, he has an Asian fetish, he made dumb blonde […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 11:16 AM
  • News

    Oh, Canada.

    Heartiest congratulations, Canada. Your recession is finally over. The economic growth that pulled you out of the pit of despair in the third quarter wasn’t all it could be. But, as those of us not named “China” have learned, exiting a recession isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Canada edges out of recession in […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 10:39 AM
  • News

    God Not Pleased With House Lloyd Blankfein Built

    And here’s what he’s doing about it! If he’s told you fuckers once, he’s told you a thousand times– “do not cheap out on the new pussy palace.” And yet, here you are, going to Home Depot and just buying any old piece of easily shattered glass you can find, instead of the good stuff. […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 10:00 AM
  • News

    Stumbling Towards Buenos Aires

    Seemed like a good idea at the timeThe United Arab Emirates–of which Dubai is one of seven constituents–is going out of its way to stand behind its all-important financial-services sector. By contrast, Dubai itself is running from its own company as fast as it can. The emirate has gone on a spending spree in recent […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 9:54 AM
  • Communiqués, News

    Dan Loeb: It Is A Bull Market In Government Regulation And Intervention

    Like his hedge fund brother from another mother, Bill Ackman, Dan Loeb is the sort of investor that doesn’t conform to the ridiculous rule that says one should strive to get his quarterly letters to investors in a timely fashion. While lesser managers feel the need to send their shit out at least within a […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 9:30 AM
  • Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 11.30.09

    Bernanke Starts Fed Debate Early (WSJ) Ben Bernanke would prefer the Federal Reserve not be stripped of its power. Senator Bernie Sanders would prefer the Beard be stripped of his job: “If he’s the smartest guy in the world, why didn’t he do anything to prevent us from sinking into this disaster that Wall Street […]

    / Nov 30, 2009 at 7:10 AM
  • News

    Opening/Closing/Holiday Bell: 11.27.09

    Year after deadly Black Friday stampede, stores get ready (NYP) Guess what? You don’t have to be afraid of getting trampled to death by a bunch of savages trying to get fifty percent off a flat screen! A bunch of stores decided that this year they’re going to be making people form orderly lines and […]

    / Nov 27, 2009 at 12:00 PM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 11.25.09

    $$$ Rogue Nomura trader [TIL] $$$ Vintage Bill Griffeth [YouTube] $$$ Over 52 Years, These Men Have Evolved Into Movers and Shakers–Together [WSJ via Daily Intel] $$$ Best Buy: No Way To Sell Apples [The Big Money] $$$ Jay-Z Was At Goldman Sachs Today. [GofG] $$$ That’s it for us today. Happy Thanksgiving. I hope […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 2:13 PM
  • News

    Want To Have Your Mortgage Wiped Out And Feel Like You’re In A Seinfeld Episode?

    Then get thyself to Judge Jeffrey Spinner‘s court. East Patchogue couple Diane Yano-Horoski and Greg Horoski (left) did after their lender refused to negotiate and he wiped out $525,000 in mortgage payments and tore OneWest Bank a new one modeled after the linguistic stylings of Jackie Chiles. Spinner excoriated OneWest for repeatedly refusing to work […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 1:57 PM
  • News

    Fed Moves To Stamp Out Conflicts Of Interest, Interest In Regional Directorships

    Remember that whole nasty incident with former New York Fed Chairman Stephen Friedman? The Fed sure does. And it’s taking steps to make sure no one on the boards of its 12 regional banks can have those annoying perceived conflicts of interest, because the public gets really pissed off when a bank you’re bailing out […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 1:30 PM
  • News

    Awww, Bill Griffeth Is Leaving CNBC (For A Year)

    This is actually kind of sad, because BG is one of the most watchable people on that network. Also, Michelle Caruso-Cabrera admitted that people keep CNBC on mute (“turn up the volume on those trading floors!”) and that she calls her father “daddy.” Anyway, we hope Bill enjoys the time off. And in between maxing […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 12:27 PM
  • News

    Buy Lloyd Blankfein’s House (NOW ON SALE)

    Lloyd and his wife Laura has been comfortably ensconced in their new pad in 15CPW for over year now, where neighbors include people like Sandy Weill, Daniel Och, and Dan Loeb and each apartment comes equipped with an auto-fellatio room in order to meet the needs of the esteemed residents. Unfortunately, LB has been having […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 12:16 PM
  • News

    What Should Tim Geithner’s Next Job Be?

    It’s not clear that he’s going anywhere any time soon though Dick Bové has already stamped her seal of approval on Jamie Dimon’s nomination for the Treasury Secretary’s replacement. But, the analyst cautioned, while JD is hands down the best man for the job,* and Obama wouldn’t be out of line simply locking TG out […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 11:46 AM
  • News

    Snub Of The Century: Pandit Left Waiting For A Call That Never Came

    Vikram’s brave faceVikram Pandit seems like a happy guy, despite having several billion very good reasons to be quite unhappy. But he is not made of stone, President Obama. He feels, deeply. And you have cut him to the core, sir. It seems that the CEO of our favorite wholly-owned subsidiary of the U.S. government […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 11:24 AM
  • Banks, News

    Hedge Funds Deserving Of 80 Billion Thank Yous Tomorrow

    Let’s hear it, bank CEOs, each and every one of you: “On this Thanksgiving Day, we are grateful to… the hedge funds.” You know all that money you’ve raised to help pay the government back and to cover all of those catastrophic losses? Well, it seems that a big, fat chunk of it came from […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 10:47 AM
  • News

    Did Raj Rajaratnam’s Brother (Maybe) Get Into The Insider Trading Business To Score Chicks?

    As previously mentioned, Raj Rajaratnam’s younger brother, Regnan, was investigated for insider trading in 2007. But why did baby bro (maybe) get into a game of just the (hot stock) tip in the first place? Based on this quote from 2001, I’m thinking to land some ladies. Here’s what Rengs told Fox in an interview […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 9:25 AM
  • News

    Noted Corporate Welfare Recipient Not Welcome At White House Dinner

    Not hungry anywayDozens of prominent Indian-Americans were among the 338 guests at President Barack Obama’s first state dinner, in honor of Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. One was notable by his absence: Vikram Pandit. To be sure, it is possible that the Great Pandito was invited to last night’s black-tie bash, and was simply unable […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 9:19 AM
  • News

    (Being Investigated For/Accused Of) Insider Trading: A Rajaratnam Family Affair!

    The Journal reports that Raj Rajaratnam was deposed by federal authorities in 2007 in an insider-trading investigation involving “an unrelated hedge fund.” And by unrelated he means it was his brother Rengan’s fund, Sedna Capital, which was described that year by Total Alternatives as a “Galleon spin-off.” So this is why Raj argued yesterday that […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 8:07 AM
  • Opening Bell

    Opening Bell: 11.25.09

    AIG CEO Signs Non-Compete Deal (WSJ) After the little boardroom outburst a couple weeks ago, and the threat to quit, AIG CEO Robert Benmosche promised his flock he’d never leave them. Now that they have it signed and in writing (and they approved his pay), everyone believes him. Benmosche “is committed to leading this company […]

    / Nov 25, 2009 at 8:00 AM

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