Yesterday, together as a joint effort, we and SAC cleared the most majestic hedge fund in all the land of any possible wrongdoing vis-à-vis the insider trading case du jour. First, the firm conducted its own thorough investigation of the trades in question (and found no evidence of shady dealings). Then, we came along and finished things off with a brief but clear message: nobody fucks with the king. Nothing else needed to be said but unfortunately, some people felt the need to pipe up and remind everyone that “the determination by the big hedge fund is preliminary because a number of the stocks involved in the insider-trading case remain secret as criminal and civil investigations continue.” Obviously these people, and maybe yourselves, still don’t get it. So, today, we have no choice but to continue. For those of you– and I’m talking about the SEC, I’m talking about the Feds, I’m talking about anyone looking to make trouble– even ENTERTAINING the thought of messing with our lord, go back from whence you came. The king is busy.
Tomorrow– and I pray it doesn’t come to this but you people never seem to learn– a demo on what’s in store for anyone looking to mess, from the king of clubs. (Hint: it involves an object not typically used in place of a standard golf tee.)
[For those of you ignoramuses who have no idea what the above is about, familiarize yourselves here. These were conceived, posed for, and distributed in a limited amount by SC and Co. several years ago, perhaps knowing they'd come in handy some day.]
Earlier: A Reminder From Steve Cohen (King of Hearts)
Bess,
For posting these pictures, Steve has a special message for you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE8m_7ZMyu4&feature=related
Real tears. It’s like a flip book.
@2 this is so amazing (though I seriously fear for Bess’s life).
This is almost too good to be true. Are we really getting one of these every day? Bess is god.
The ball was on the cart path. Why don’t you try reading the rules next time, shankapotomous.
obviously you’re not a golfer.
Hey, wait a minute! I’m the king!
- A. Palmer
Good God…not only is he a genius trader and a zillionaire, but he can levitate himself!!
Where’s the rest of him?
the man buys up the rights to his photos (or did) and he agreed to this photoshoot? W.T.F.
I might caddy for him but I’m not going to be the low bidder for his ball washing job.
~PJ
SC: Do you like getting nailed by the King?
Carolyn Burnham: Yes, your majesty! That was exactly what I needed. The royal treatment, so to speak.
Even with the photographer’s hot lights I bet the photo shoot room never got above 38 degrees F.
Not that I don’t want this continue but assuming these get progressively worse, why doesn’t SC put a stop to this? (By killing BL or just giving her what she wants– one ride around the rink.)
@naked– swap CB for BL
this is getting kinky. I like it.
-PJ
how many more of these before SC runs BL over w the zamboni? 1? 5? tonight?
Boy, Spalding Smails hasn’t aged well.
I want an adorable gnome just like him for Christmas! Santa, please make it happen.
@Bess I’ll ask again, how much for the whole deck?
In yesterday’s photo, TGFD noticed a considerably bulked-down version of steve. Was that really he? Did steve stop eating, or what?
The Guy from Delaware
@21 are you kidding? he looked super chubbs in that shot.
the question is how does SC put a stop to this? pay her off (maybe) or kill her (more likely)?
If Ron Insana calls Bess should she pick-up?
That don’t look like Elvis!
@23 the latter, and he’s going to make it hurt.
Co-stanza.
He should’ve followed Lee Atwater’s advice about “Never let yourself be photographed in a funny hat”.
Dat look like a burger king.
Is that Dáin II Ironfoot, king of Erebor?
Guest@#22…
TGFD has never seen steve in-person, and the only photos I’ve ever seen of him have been courtesy of DB.
Perhaps you know him better than I, but to me, he seemed somewhat lighter that what I remember.
TGFD didn’t see a crew-neck tee under a floppy-collared shirt either. Maybe that’s why I thought he looked better.
The Guy from Delaware
@28 or robe
@29 wins, 1,000,000 BKC at market! one whopper of a trade!
It’s the Wiz!
why hasn’t alex cohen commented on this yet?
I think his left shoe is untied.
I wouldn’t want to be the servant that forgot to double knot it. No sir.
Look at that magnificent Mona Lisa smile. Just look at it.
he looks so impish in that illustration
WHAT’S UNDER THE FLEECE HE’S ALWAYS WEARING! WHO IS HIS FLEECE-MAKER???
-MadMax Waters
hamburglar
@35 – Is this what you were looking for?
“You guys are disgusting. Why would you dig into the personal life of someone who has done nothing wrong? I bet we could find a lot of dirt on you bloggers and spiteful commenters. Just remember what goes around comes around.
And to the person who gave away what was a very personal gift, you are a real class act!”
- Lucky Sperm Receptacle
@2 and 29 made my day! Thx Gentlemen.
Bess, you continue to be my girl crush.
great tags
What a Hercules of a man, able to hold his club with just one hand while posing effortlessly.
You people have no morals. Bess Levine – what is the obsession with Steve? As a minority, you should know better than to be a petty rabble rouser against Steve who is by all accounts a good person. Have you no journalistic ethics at all?
And no, I am not related or married to Mr.Cohen or anyone else at his firm. I hope he sues you for copyright violations of his private property.
@45: what do you mean “you people”??
45 is alex cohen, w/o question.
@45 = Cum Receptacle
@44 no, that is a standard overlap grip, moderately weak. Looks like he’s setting up for a fade, although with his narrow stance he’s prone to the snap-hook from time to time. Just goes to show that all the money in the world can’t buy you a decent set-up at address. It can however buy the silence of your playing partners.
Are you saying as a Jew, Bess is a minority? Perhaps in Mississipi or wherever, but in NYC? Please.
Bess is a minority?
@45 If you seriously meant that, then WOW!
@49 he himself has said he’s not that big a golfer so I don’t get why they went with the clubs in these shots. a question for the art director (A.Cohen) I guess.
alex@45 serious question– what’s so bad about these pics? your husband looks good, regal and whatnot. why are you so upset about them being shared?
@45, btw Alex, if you’re going to bitch slap, get it right, it’s Beth Levin…..
Maybe Stevie clubs a baby harp seal at the end of his swing.
Fishing is fun, but not when the fish are practically jumping onto the boat. C’mon people, make it harder (that’s what *she* said).
-45 née 56
Uh, I hope I do not see where this is going, but I fear that when Bess reveals Stevie as the Queen of Hearts somebody in the Dealbreaker commentariat is gonna go Raymond Shaw.
@58 doubtful, since SC was complicit in these shots but apparently they take a seriously sicker turn.
@58 good point. If I had to guess, Raymond Shaw = TGFD. He has an anger about him.
The Orange Jewlius Fund
So BL’s going to die, but by who? alex cohen@45, stevie himself, one of his PMs, or the hired assassin he has on payroll?
No one would suspect a commie subversive planted in the heart of Wall Street. Well, maybe Ollie would.
@62 d. berkowitz will be tasked with the job.
SAC should use this pics as their watermarks.
my panties are dripping wet with anticipation of tomorrow’s card!
-PJ
I just soiled myself. One of you fuckers come wipe me.
-SC
“by all accounts a good person” Hmmm…