The events of last week, wherein the most majestic hedge fund in all the land was implicated in the insider trading scandal du jour, were deeply distressing to us all. While SAC was reviewing the trades in question, and, thankfully, clearing itself of any wrongdoing, we went in search of a more visceral sign. Something that would say, “Nothing to see here.” Or: “Back it up, SEC. You don’t want a piece of this.” Or: “Take one step closer, and I’m not kidding, I’ll take this golf club, and I’ll bust open your skull.” Or, more simply: “Nobody fucks with the king.” This weekend in Southern Connecticut, we found it.
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I don’t think anything else needs to be said here other than the King hath spoken. And also, that in my quest to clear the big guy’s name, this will be the first in a series that will be playing for the rest of the week, thanks to a generous friend of a friend. Tomorrow: the king of diamonds. You don’t want to miss it.
[For those of you ignoramuses who have no idea what the above is about, familiarize yourselves here. These were conceived, posed for, and distributed in a limited amount by SC and Co. several years ago, perhaps knowing they’d come in handy some day.]







Posted by Ping , Nov 10, 2009 12:38PM
Stevie, you will always be King of my heart.
xo xo
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:39PM
holy shit
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:39PM
someone has a death wish....
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:41PM
amazing
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:41PM
so who turned over the cards to BL?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:44PM
I see where this is going
Ace of spades-Stan O
Joker-KL
etc...
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:45PM
yummy!!!
-PJ
Posted by Bess Levin , Nov 10, 2009 12:46PM
@6 no, you don't see where this is going, because all the cards are of SC and the Cohens, which they shot and posed for themselves several years ago.
etc...
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:47PM
Ohhhh Bessy, you gunna be in trouble.......
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:49PM
what in God's name was he thinking? this is going to hurt.
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 10, 2009 12:51PM
How did this take so long?
He looks SOOO regal in that pic
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:51PM
"Cohen may not be impressed by his own billions, but Alex has coaxed him into "lavish entertaining, round-the-world art-buying trips, white-gloved butlers, that sort of thing," says an old acquaintance. For a housewarming party, she sent out an invitation she thought of herself: a deck of playing cards with a photograph of Steve as the king in a velvet robe and crown, herself as the queen, the children, and various and sundry household help as other cards."
nice work, wifey.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:52PM
I have reviewed all my Turbo Tax filings and found nothing suspicious.
-TG
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:53PM
you can rest assured stevie will be interrogating everyone who was at that party in order to find out who gave this to BL.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:54PM
@Bess how much for the deck?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:56PM
I don't see the big deal.
Lynne Tilton
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:56PM
for a guy who hates to have his picture (sans crown and robe) out in the public this must be his sex tape moment.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:57PM
@Bess and @12
Well now I'm even more excited to see the next card, and curious to see what makes up enough various and sundry household help to constitute 52 playing cards
@6
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:58PM
OK, now this is starting to creep me out.
-SC
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:58PM
He looks like a bullfrog.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 12:58PM
golf clap for mrs. cohen (the vision behind this thing).
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:00PM
Is this a Wall Street tabloid or the community update for Yeshiva University? How about a Jewbargo for a day?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:02PM
@22 are you really that stupid?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:03PM
@22 I went to Wharton. Eat a dick.
-the king
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:04PM
@ 23 = racist
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:05PM
Bess, he is going to rip you an new a-hole.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:07PM
spoiler alert: the king of clubs is some creepy-ass S&M shit (not kidding. ask bess).
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:13PM
as a current employee of the king, would it be a bad idea to make this my wallpaper at work? pls advise.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:14PM
ok people "the crown says [this] but the fleece says [that]." let's get it going.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:15PM
@25: examine your motives
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:16PM
if you're looking for an out go for it.
betty yet try to get someone in IT to put it on the intranet.
Posted by Perkins Maxwell , Nov 10, 2009 1:18PM
Magic. Sheer magic, Bess. We know who the Queen of Hearts in the Financial World Deck is.
Posted by Tax Chick , Nov 10, 2009 1:18PM
The crown says I act like a king, the goiter says I eat like a peasant.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:20PM
@31 who are you responding to?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:23PM
@28 it's a GREAT idea.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:24PM
is that a fleece robe?
Posted by Norman Chad , Nov 10, 2009 1:26PM
The ace of spades is the prettiest card in the deck, Lan.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:26PM
@36 it's an early model snuggie. SC is a pioneer.
Posted by Tax Chick , Nov 10, 2009 1:26PM
@34 - presumably @31 is responding to the inquiry posted by @28
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:28PM
Ribbit......ribbit.....ribbit
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:28PM
34 clearly went to a SUNY.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:31PM
@11/Anal_yst
First time in a while that I laughed at that. Well done.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:35PM
@40 That was just mean.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:41PM
Bess, despite what he says, if you kiss him he will not turn into a prince.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:41PM
@26 - I think that's what Bess is hoping for, finally...
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:46PM
King 'o Farts?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:46PM
take your bone out of my mouth
-dennis kneale
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:50PM
The golf club is probably 3 feet tall. So what is he, like 4 1/2 feet. He looks like a dwarf.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:52PM
@48 -
Take that back, or I am going to make you that golf clubs little bitch.
SAC
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:53PM
RIBBIT.....RIBBIT.....RIBBBBBBIT!!!!!
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:55PM
Who is more powerful, LB or SC?
sc
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 1:55PM
I find all these comments about a certain wonderful hedge fund owner to be reprehensible. It is even beneath me to respond to the commentary in this blog. Today while rinsing one of our home's 43 degree F, temperature controlled, 50 bidet parlors with a 300 count Egyption cotton fabric and a touch of the finest Clorox available, I got a small spot on my tuxedo and white gloves and such a spot made me think of all of you in an equestrian term: Horse cocks.
Subserviently,
"Briggston"
Butler and Valet to a Wonderful, Fleeced Hedge Fund Owner in Connecticut
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Nov 10, 2009 1:57PM
Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Stamford, known as The Meadows.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:04PM
Fat slob
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:06PM
@52 What would it take to prise a fine gentleman such as yourself from that funny looking gnome?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:06PM
You guys are disgusting. Why would you dig into the personal life of someone who has done nothing wrong? I bet we could find a lot of dirt on you bloggers and spiteful commenters. Just remember what goes around comes around.
And to the person who gave away what was a very personal gift, you are a real class act!
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:10PM
@30 = anti-semite
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:12PM
Somebody say it.
Please.
Steve Cohen is a ........
Posted by aarrttri , Nov 10, 2009 2:13PM
Remember the "World's Most Dangerous Battery" viral video?
Here is another viral video for the "World's SAFEST Battery".
They pierced through a real battery to cause a huge explosion.
Among mobile phone batteries, notebook batteries,
there is only one battery that doesn't explode...... Watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxlBvKrgVNw
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:14PM
Is 56 for real?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:15PM
@56 - Mrs. C reads DB?? Who knew!!
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Nov 10, 2009 2:16PM
HE'S THE WIZ...AND NOOOOOOOOBODY BEATS HIM!!!
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 10, 2009 2:17PM
@56
Dennis Kneale?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:17PM
@ 62 FTW! ROR!
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:20PM
56 is Alex Cohen, w/o question.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:24PM
If you hold up a blacklight on his rope, you will see the stain.
Andrea Tong
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:25PM
Lloyd Blankfein is more powerful than Stevie. What a stupid question, @51, go back to Houston.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:27PM
@56 very personal gift? isn't that usually reserved for nude shots?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:29PM
@56 is clearly the 10 of Hearts
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:29PM
What is that in his hand, a curling broom?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:31PM
Do not anger the GOD-TOAD!!!!!
Ribbit ...riBBITT...RIBBBBBIITTTT!!
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:33PM
@70 - looks like a 3-wood, or a very old-school driver, with the very bottom of the picture cut off.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:37PM
alex cohen@56 serious question. what's so bad about this pic? I think he looks good. do the cards get progressively worse?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:39PM
15=Daniel Berkowitz
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:39PM
@51/67 Lloyd is a humble servant of G-d.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:47PM
@74 what makes you say berkowitz? so he can j/off to them in his porsche?
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:52PM
@76 he handles the petty cash now.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:52PM
@62 Excellent
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 2:55PM
@77 right but I'm asking if you think Berkowitz is offering money for the cards for his own collection or if he's doing so under orders by SC.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 3:04PM
@74 = keith moss
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 3:05PM
@61 Mrs. C reads? Who knew!!
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 3:07PM
@81 - Wrong. Mrs. C. has things read to her. Now get back to work, peon!
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 3:09PM
@80 doubtful but thanks for that. I had a good snarf.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 3:09PM
@82 Not without pictures she don't.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 3:12PM
oh shit do we have the current AND EX wife (@84/82)??
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 3:16PM
@46, rawks!
@56, booo!!
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 3:19PM
@76/79 Oh. Ha!
Now I will be haunted by that image.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 3:26PM
Alexandra, who grew up in the Bronx and is described by a friend as "dark-haired and pretty in a petite way," through a dating service after divorcing his first wife. "From the time she was a child, Alex always said she wanted to marry a millionaire. She struck out," jokes a family friend. "She got a billionaire."
Business Week: Women Who Really Think They Are *That* Good in Bed and the Rich Boobs Who Marry Them, Part 1
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 3:40PM
@88 - Well, if you can't arrange to be born into the Lucky Sperm Club, at least you can aspire to become a Lucky Sperm Receptacle.
AC
Posted by John A , Nov 10, 2009 3:45PM
@67 Never left Houston, bitch.
Posted by Tax Chick , Nov 10, 2009 4:05PM
@88 - Steve and Alex Cohen, Dr. Mary Sonnett, Dr. Herbert Pardes, and Wilhelmina Manzano
http://www.nysocialdiary.com/i/partypictures/04_24_08/pres/_MG_6057.jpg
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 4:11PM
@80 that would make my day...
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 4:38PM
I trust these cards get progressively worse? awesome.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 4:50PM
@93,
I think there must be something ugly out there. Think about it this way--Mission Control is a smart guy, so he must realize nobody would give a fvck about his picture if he wasn't so secretive; that is, unless there were pics of some wild $h!t, so keep digging Bess. We know it's out there...
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 5:00PM
@94 as someone who received the deck (though not the one who gave it to Bess), I can assure you that there is at least one pic in there he'd rather people not see.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 5:14PM
Bess you need to have a SAC Swag Sale, with this obviously being the big ticket item.
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 10, 2009 5:15PM
@95
Does it involve a Zamboni? You don't have to tell us everything, just answer me that one question, please, I implore you!
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 5:16PM
@anal_yst- no.
Posted by guest , Nov 10, 2009 10:19PM
Mrs. Steve Cohen (@56) reads DB. Awesome.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 6:56AM
100. Suck on my prestige bitches 1-99
Posted by Chuck Krug , Nov 11, 2009 9:34AM
@56 Mrs Cohen, did it ever occur to you that dressing up as a king makes one look arrogant?