The events of last week, wherein the most majestic hedge fund in all the land was implicated in the insider trading scandal du jour, were deeply distressing to us all. While SAC was reviewing the trades in question, and, thankfully, clearing itself of any wrongdoing, we went in search of a more visceral sign. Something that would say, “Nothing to see here.” Or: “Back it up, SEC. You don’t want a piece of this.” Or: “Take one step closer, and I’m not kidding, I’ll take this golf club, and I’ll bust open your skull.” Or, more simply: “Nobody fucks with the king.” This weekend in Southern Connecticut, we found it.
I don’t think anything else needs to be said here other than the King hath spoken. And also, that in my quest to clear the big guy’s name, this will be the first in a series that will be playing for the rest of the week, thanks to a generous friend of a friend. Tomorrow: the king of diamonds. You don’t want to miss it.
[For those of you ignoramuses who have no idea what the above is about, familiarize yourselves here. These were conceived, posed for, and distributed in a limited amount by SC and Co. several years ago, perhaps knowing they'd come in handy some day.]
Stevie, you will always be King of my heart.
xo xo
holy shit
someone has a death wish….
amazing
so who turned over the cards to BL?
I see where this is going
Ace of spades-Stan O
Joker-KL
etc…
yummy!!!
-PJ
@6 no, you don’t see where this is going, because all the cards are of SC and the Cohens, which they shot and posed for themselves several years ago.
etc…
Ohhhh Bessy, you gunna be in trouble…….
what in God’s name was he thinking? this is going to hurt.
How did this take so long?
He looks SOOO regal in that pic
“Cohen may not be impressed by his own billions, but Alex has coaxed him into “lavish entertaining, round-the-world art-buying trips, white-gloved butlers, that sort of thing,” says an old acquaintance. For a housewarming party, she sent out an invitation she thought of herself: a deck of playing cards with a photograph of Steve as the king in a velvet robe and crown, herself as the queen, the children, and various and sundry household help as other cards.”
nice work, wifey.
I have reviewed all my Turbo Tax filings and found nothing suspicious.
-TG
you can rest assured stevie will be interrogating everyone who was at that party in order to find out who gave this to BL.
@Bess how much for the deck?
I don’t see the big deal.
Lynne Tilton
for a guy who hates to have his picture (sans crown and robe) out in the public this must be his sex tape moment.
@Bess and @12
Well now I’m even more excited to see the next card, and curious to see what makes up enough various and sundry household help to constitute 52 playing cards
@6
OK, now this is starting to creep me out.
-SC
He looks like a bullfrog.
golf clap for mrs. cohen (the vision behind this thing).
Is this a Wall Street tabloid or the community update for Yeshiva University? How about a Jewbargo for a day?
@22 are you really that stupid?
@22 I went to Wharton. Eat a dick.
-the king
@ 23 = racist
Bess, he is going to rip you an new a-hole.
spoiler alert: the king of clubs is some creepy-ass S&M shit (not kidding. ask bess).
as a current employee of the king, would it be a bad idea to make this my wallpaper at work? pls advise.
ok people “the crown says [this] but the fleece says [that].” let’s get it going.
@25: examine your motives
if you’re looking for an out go for it.
betty yet try to get someone in IT to put it on the intranet.
Magic. Sheer magic, Bess. We know who the Queen of Hearts in the Financial World Deck is.
The crown says I act like a king, the goiter says I eat like a peasant.
@31 who are you responding to?
@28 it’s a GREAT idea.
is that a fleece robe?
The ace of spades is the prettiest card in the deck, Lan.
@36 it’s an early model snuggie. SC is a pioneer.
@34 – presumably @31 is responding to the inquiry posted by @28
Ribbit……ribbit…..ribbit
34 clearly went to a SUNY.
@11/Anal_yst
First time in a while that I laughed at that. Well done.
@40 That was just mean.
Bess, despite what he says, if you kiss him he will not turn into a prince.
@26 – I think that’s what Bess is hoping for, finally…
King ‘o Farts?
take your bone out of my mouth
-dennis kneale
The golf club is probably 3 feet tall. So what is he, like 4 1/2 feet. He looks like a dwarf.
@48 -
Take that back, or I am going to make you that golf clubs little bitch.
SAC
RIBBIT…..RIBBIT…..RIBBBBBBIT!!!!!
Who is more powerful, LB or SC?
sc
I find all these comments about a certain wonderful hedge fund owner to be reprehensible. It is even beneath me to respond to the commentary in this blog. Today while rinsing one of our home’s 43 degree F, temperature controlled, 50 bidet parlors with a 300 count Egyption cotton fabric and a touch of the finest Clorox available, I got a small spot on my tuxedo and white gloves and such a spot made me think of all of you in an equestrian term: Horse cocks.
Subserviently,
“Briggston”
Butler and Valet to a Wonderful, Fleeced Hedge Fund Owner in Connecticut
Well, it’s a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there’s a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Stamford, known as The Meadows.
Fat slob
@52 What would it take to prise a fine gentleman such as yourself from that funny looking gnome?
You guys are disgusting. Why would you dig into the personal life of someone who has done nothing wrong? I bet we could find a lot of dirt on you bloggers and spiteful commenters. Just remember what goes around comes around.
And to the person who gave away what was a very personal gift, you are a real class act!
@30 = anti-semite
Somebody say it.
Please.
Steve Cohen is a ……..
Remember the “World’s Most Dangerous Battery” viral video?
Here is another viral video for the “World’s SAFEST Battery”.
They pierced through a real battery to cause a huge explosion.
Among mobile phone batteries, notebook batteries,
there is only one battery that doesn’t explode…… Watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxlBvKrgVNw
Is 56 for real?
@56 – Mrs. C reads DB?? Who knew!!
HE’S THE WIZ…AND NOOOOOOOOBODY BEATS HIM!!!
@56
Dennis Kneale?
@ 62 FTW! ROR!
56 is Alex Cohen, w/o question.
If you hold up a blacklight on his rope, you will see the stain.
Andrea Tong
Lloyd Blankfein is more powerful than Stevie. What a stupid question, @51, go back to Houston.
@56 very personal gift? isn’t that usually reserved for nude shots?
@56 is clearly the 10 of Hearts
What is that in his hand, a curling broom?
Do not anger the GOD-TOAD!!!!!
Ribbit …riBBITT…RIBBBBBIITTTT!!
@70 – looks like a 3-wood, or a very old-school driver, with the very bottom of the picture cut off.
alex cohen@56 serious question. what’s so bad about this pic? I think he looks good. do the cards get progressively worse?
15=Daniel Berkowitz
@51/67 Lloyd is a humble servant of G-d.
@74 what makes you say berkowitz? so he can j/off to them in his porsche?
@76 he handles the petty cash now.
@62 Excellent
@77 right but I’m asking if you think Berkowitz is offering money for the cards for his own collection or if he’s doing so under orders by SC.
@74 = keith moss
@61 Mrs. C reads? Who knew!!
@81 – Wrong. Mrs. C. has things read to her. Now get back to work, peon!
@80 doubtful but thanks for that. I had a good snarf.
@82 Not without pictures she don’t.
oh shit do we have the current AND EX wife (@84/82)??
@46, rawks!
@56, booo!!
@76/79 Oh. Ha!
Now I will be haunted by that image.
Alexandra, who grew up in the Bronx and is described by a friend as “dark-haired and pretty in a petite way,” through a dating service after divorcing his first wife. “From the time she was a child, Alex always said she wanted to marry a millionaire. She struck out,” jokes a family friend. “She got a billionaire.”
Business Week: Women Who Really Think They Are *That* Good in Bed and the Rich Boobs Who Marry Them, Part 1
@88 – Well, if you can’t arrange to be born into the Lucky Sperm Club, at least you can aspire to become a Lucky Sperm Receptacle.
AC
@67 Never left Houston, bitch.
@88 – Steve and Alex Cohen, Dr. Mary Sonnett, Dr. Herbert Pardes, and Wilhelmina Manzano
http://www.nysocialdiary.com/i/partypictures/04_24_08/pres/_MG_6057.jpg
@80 that would make my day…
I trust these cards get progressively worse? awesome.
@93,
I think there must be something ugly out there. Think about it this way–Mission Control is a smart guy, so he must realize nobody would give a fvck about his picture if he wasn’t so secretive; that is, unless there were pics of some wild $h!t, so keep digging Bess. We know it’s out there…
@94 as someone who received the deck (though not the one who gave it to Bess), I can assure you that there is at least one pic in there he’d rather people not see.
Bess you need to have a SAC Swag Sale, with this obviously being the big ticket item.
@95
Does it involve a Zamboni? You don’t have to tell us everything, just answer me that one question, please, I implore you!
@anal_yst- no.
Mrs. Steve Cohen (@56) reads DB. Awesome.
100. Suck on my prestige bitches 1-99
@56 Mrs Cohen, did it ever occur to you that dressing up as a king makes one look arrogant?
What happened to the guy who ran out on Alex Garcia Cohen when she was pregnant with Josh? He might try to marry Patricia Finke Cohen.