Just going to throw out some Facebook Status Updates Of Greatness, from one of today’s accused criminals:
Alleged Insider Trader Goffer Didn’t See Dow 10,000 Coming
Posted by Bess Levin, Nov 05, 2009, 12:23pm
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Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:26PM
nice English in the third status, good grief
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:30PM
Pleading da FIIIIFFFFFTH
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:30PM
...Is at a meeting in the slammer taking a little (and I mean a little) in the front from Bernie and a little from behind from Raj
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:32PM
Emmanuel Goffer is getting Plexico's golf club stuck up his ass as he sheets in the prison laundry.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:32PM
...Is goin' downtown. Literally and figuratively.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:33PM
Leave me out of this! And is it nap time yet?
-One-year-old
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:34PM
Future status updates:
Emanuel Goffer i don't want to be a fish. no fish.
Emanuel Goffer is sitting next to Big Nasty Nate and his jungle of love
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:37PM
#3 FTW! LMAO!!!!
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:41PM
... thinks Bernie's dong tastes like gefilte fish.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:43PM
This guy is a far better write than Greg Michaels.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:55PM
"Didn't see 10,000 coming but am psyched to see Raj cumming...might have to roll him around in flour to see where the wet spot is coming from but I'll find it"
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:00PM
#10 - you do realize you're an idiot, right?
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:01PM
Homeboy is lunching with Sharapova and Decker and is taking the time away from them to post it on his FB?
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:04PM
@13 really? you didn't get that he meant that he was at the table next to them, and not actually eating w them?
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:04PM
does anyone have access to his 'friends list'? i wonder if one or two of them made any timely investments in 3com?
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:10PM
he kinda seems rich so that makes him cute. brb. gonna bbg him.
Alicia Wetmore
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:12PM
About to do a decade in Sing Sing, who would have thunk.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:21PM
Good deduction #13
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:22PM
"Accused Criminals" Bess? I think not. You can say "Accused Alleged Criminals" or "The Accused" but "Accused Criminals" imply they are already criminals who are newly accused. See, hanging with the Gregmeister has weighed on you!
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:24PM
@14... Apologies. The intent was that no guy would take attention away from them to bust out the phone and update FB, so he had to be full of crap.
13
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:34PM
@19
You fail at humor. The way it is phrased is correct and accurate. They are accused criminals. Accused does not equal convicted. Awful attempt at humor.
Posted by CoveredLong , Nov 05, 2009 1:35PM
@20 - Did you also 'intend' to say dining....who lunches at 8:49pm?
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:37PM
@21 is correct
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:42PM
I wish someone would put their sweaty balls on my chin.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:46PM
"A bunch of guys with letters on the back of their jackets just pulled in my driveway. I wonder what that is about. BRB."
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:50PM
@21 and @23 you are both wrong. You can be "accused of being criminals" but if you say "accused criminals" then you must be criminals who are accused.
Now go kill yourselves in shame, preferably via Hari Kari!
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 2:07PM
@26 I'm sorry, you were right and I was wrong, but English is my second language. Please forgive me.
@23, stop trying to ride my tired coattails, milksop!
--21
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 2:26PM
@19: Shut your filthy whore mouth
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 5:52PM
Do these guys give a $hit about their kids? What a selfish ba$tard. Lets say he does 3-10. Way to be there for your kid you phuc-up. For what? This guys is scum. He probably cheats on his wife with her best friend. Moron.