For most of this week, our singular mission has been to defend the most majestic hedge fund in all the land, vis-à-vis the hideous suggestion they may have been tainted by the insider trading scandal du jour. Our message has been simply this: Steve Cohen is the king, and nobody fucks with his majesty. And yet. Some people? Still don’t get it. Take this story, entitled “SAC Capital Ex-Analyst Under Probe.” The particular trading in question took place while the employee was at another firm entirely. But someone—Rupert—just had to drag the Kingdom of Cohen into the conversation, didn’t they? So, today, I’m going to show you people what you can expect if you don’t back the shit off. I mean it. Shut it with this insider trading crap, as it relates to the big guy and his li’l guys, or the following scenario is in your future. IF YOU’RE LUCKY.
I truly hope we don’t have to continue.
[For those of you ignoramuses who have no idea what the above is about, familiarize yourselves here. These were conceived, posed for, and distributed in a limited amount by SC and Co. several years ago, perhaps knowing they’d come in handy some day.]
Earlier: A Follow Up Message From Steve Cohen’s Magic Kingdom (King of Diamonds)
Earlier than that: A Reminder From Steve Cohen (King of Hearts)
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:43PM
holy fucking shit
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:43PM
v nice
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:44PM
what.the.fuck.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:46PM
uhhhhhh. what in god's name is going on in that pic?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:47PM
Breathtaking.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:49PM
A man becomes preeminent, he's expected to have enthusiasms. Enthusiasms, enthusiasms... What are mine? What draws my admiration? What is that which gives me joy? Baseball[1]! A man stands alone at the plate. This is the time for what? For individual achievement. There he stands alone. But in the field, what? Part of a team. Teamwork... Looks, throws, catches, hustles. Part of one big team. Bats himself the live-long day, Babe Ruth, Ty Cobb, and so on. If his team don't field... what is he? You follow me? No one. Sunny day, the stands are full of fans. What does he have to say? I'm goin' out there for myself. But... I get nowhere unless the team wins.
-sc
[1] I play Baseball with a golf club
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:50PM
wtf
these are actually getting better!
where are the ones with the servants on them?
TRB
Posted by Tax Chick , Nov 12, 2009 3:51PM
Really?! Alex thought this was a good idea?!
Perhaps she was sending secret messages that if she is found dead with zamboni tracks across her back, look no further than her beloved.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:52PM
finally a decent picture of bess
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:53PM
Lucky bitch.
-ping j (beat me steve, please! hurt me, make me your rag-doll!)
Posted by TGNC , Nov 12, 2009 3:54PM
Bess, Do you burn with jelousy!! Just wait to see the divot he takes!
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:54PM
@9 the girl about to have the club shoved up her ass is alex, steve's wife (ie the the one who came up w these cards).
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:55PM
i like the zip up sweater. He is so casual and easy going-
The look says come sit on my lap. Of course he would be speaking to lil boys...
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:55PM
Not a bad grip there, Stevie... Now get back to your ice resurfacing machine
Posted by Inside the Buyside , Nov 12, 2009 3:57PM
He's a loathsome offensive brute, yet I can't look away.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:57PM
current kingdom employee here. I realize making this my wallpaper would be a bad idea, but what if I just IMed it to a few colleagues who might not have seen it? please advise.
Posted by Last Man Standing , Nov 12, 2009 3:57PM
look how much hair he has, these must be old pics.
Posted by Biff , Nov 12, 2009 3:58PM
HAHAHAHAHAHA, anger mgmt classes don\'t seem so bad anymore.
-Biff
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 3:58PM
KING OF THE CLUB IS DICK GRASSO NOT STEVE COHEN!
-CG
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:01PM
holy fuck he's going to beat you to death w that club bess.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:01PM
Is this the updated version of Al Pacino with a baseball bat?
Posted by Investorcluzo , Nov 12, 2009 4:02PM
the playful smile with hands on her cheeks says - “I’m the shy girl from next door”; the kicked up heals and slightly arched @$$ says - “give it to me (in the) rough stevie”…
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:02PM
I heard he likes it cold in his trading room and I don't know how cold they keep things at SAC, but my head's at a nice -321 degrees F.
~Ted Williams
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:03PM
wow, stevie's into some kinky ass shit.
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Nov 12, 2009 4:04PM
He is like King Arthur, and she is like the Lady of the 13th Hole Water Hazard.
...strange women, lying in ponds distributing golf clubs, is no basis for a legitimate business plan!
-a bloody peasant
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:04PM
Rich people just are so cute from time to time.
Posted by merkin capital partners , Nov 12, 2009 4:04PM
i love my life
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:06PM
He married his daughter?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:07PM
@28 that's his wife (this pic is several yrs old).
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:08PM
#17, that's not an older picture, it's one helluva combover action!
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:08PM
Just my luck! When I had my wife take pictures of me for my playing cards all she got were plumber's crack pics above the bike seat and the effing AIG sweatshirt.
The Cass Man
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:10PM
mrs. cohen looks like she likes to party, and should call me.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:11PM
Combover alert!! My advice to my ex-boss is to keep the crown on his regal head, while releasing Alex's magnificent tresses from their monstrous captivity underneath that Scottish thingamajig.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:11PM
Combover alert!! My advice to my ex-boss is to keep the crown on his regal head, while releasing Alex's magnificent tresses from their monstrous captivity underneath that Scottish thingamajig.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:12PM
Combover alert!! My advice to my ex-boss is to keep the crown on his regal head, while releasing Alex's magnificent tresses from their monstrous captivity underneath that Scottish thingamajig.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:12PM
Combover alert!! My advice to my ex-boss is to keep the crown on his regal head, while releasing Alex's magnificent tresses from their monstrous captivity underneath that Scottish thingamajig.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:13PM
Combover alert!! My advice to my ex-boss is to keep the crown on his regal head, while releasing Alex's magnificent tresses from their monstrous captivity underneath that Scottish thingamajig.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:13PM
@33-35 ping?
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 12, 2009 4:14PM
$20 says she was goin commando in this pic.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:15PM
Trying my best to not to guffaw and get weird looks from my co-workers. Wow, that deck of cards is a treasure trove.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:16PM
so bess are you coming to the holiday party this year?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:17PM
33-37 is laid off and in therapy for keyboard tourette's.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:19PM
@anal_yst she's in jeans, so who cares?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:22PM
bess you are playing with fire. I fear for your life.
Posted by Tax Chick , Nov 12, 2009 4:24PM
@Anal - commando in jeans is not particularly pleasant. My money is on a pink g-string.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:25PM
Alex, this gift was no doubt your idea and now it is being used to hurt Steve. Another great decision by you to figure out what to do with your time and Steve's money. How many other things have you done to embarrass your husband? As for the "friends" you gave the cards to, well maybe now you will see you don't have any friends. P.S. the ones you buy don't count. And the people you have hurt over the years will come back to "PLAY" you.
Steve, just SAY NO!
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:26PM
Does my ass look fat in that pic?
-Alex
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:26PM
@TaxChick/Anal_yst- preemptively asking that you please don't threadjack this awesomeness with inane flirty banter. This is about me. Focus.
-sc
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:28PM
can we take guesses as to who 46 is?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:29PM
SLORE!
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:29PM
@46 what are you talking about? BL isn't trying to hurt steve, she LOVES steve.
Posted by Tax Chick , Nov 12, 2009 4:30PM
@48/ SC - no threadjacking. But we are talking about what the wifey is wearing (or not) under her denim. Care to share?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:32PM
If push came to shove and I absolutely had to, I would probably make gentle love to that woman's rear end.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:33PM
@49,
#46 = Troll
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:33PM
Stevie doesn't mess around with no homo vardon overlap, it's ten fingers or nothing baby.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:34PM
WTF? Nobody ever said anything about eating cottage cheese out of his ass.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:36PM
Smashing your wife's face in with a nine iron is the new killing it.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:38PM
I am pretty sure Stevie C. is hung like a bullmoose in humid weather.
Toothy Ruthie
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:38PM
pretty sure she's wearing an oversized pair of men's white fruit of the loom undies with tears and brown streaks in the back ...
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:38PM
What my husband and I do after he wipes the cookie crumbles off his face is our special, private and sacred time together. How dare all of you judge our role-playing preferences, or my sense of art direction. As this picture shows, that I have taste is obvious.
- A.Cohen
Posted by Tax Chick , Nov 12, 2009 4:42PM
You can take the girl out of the Bronx, but you can't take the Bronx out of the girl.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:43PM
@49 or the ex wife
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:44PM
when does stevie put a stop to this (ie when does he kill BL, or grant her a ride on the zamboni)?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:46PM
Bess Levin, I bow down to YOU. Well done.
-The King
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:51PM
@57- Took the words out of my mouth.
Bess you are on motherfucking fire today. Did you have dinner with CG last night?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:54PM
SC, boss, I know it's against da rules to do woik for a jew bastard but me and my crew is real incensed by this lack of respect from Beth Levin and da mezzamort’ giamoke rat dat gave out da pictures of youse and your beautiful wife.
My crew's ready. Say da word and it's done.
- vinny
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 4:54PM
@65 I saw her at Hula Hanks, so I'm thinking somewhere closer to (stevie's) home.
Posted by Last Man Standing , Nov 12, 2009 5:01PM
he still wears the same pair of glasses
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 5:01PM
@67- I thought Bessie was one of us city-folk. What brings her to CT?
-65
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 5:04PM
@69 she is. I guess out w sources?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 5:09PM
wow. as an employee of the king I did not see this coming.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 5:11PM
Why doesn't Cliffy do stupid shit like this?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 5:24PM
I take it back. I am not a Lucky Sperm Receptacle. I am a Lucky Sperm Tee Box.
AC
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 5:37PM
If he was really any good, he'd be using the 43" driver, not that gripped down little 4 iron he's using. Have some confidence in your swing man!
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 5:47PM
Fellow commenters,
We must all share these beautiful cards with the outside world.
For Stevie.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 5:48PM
If I were a hetero male, Bess would be the first lady I'd want to get it on with, coz' when she's hot, like today, no one else tops her.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 5:57PM
You know there is a reason that the majority of ridiculously wealthy people are D-Bags. Good job on taking someone who actually had a sense of humor and throwing it in their face.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 5:58PM
$50 says he went through with that swing
Posted by don , Nov 12, 2009 6:07PM
Do you think Stevie called up Pulliam at the WSJ and yelled at her for getting that headline so wrong. If you're going to after the King at least get your facts right.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 6:07PM
@77 you're joking right? steve has no sense of humor about himself. also, what was wrong with bess's post? did she do anything but praise him?
Posted by Bess Levin , Nov 12, 2009 6:18PM
@77 "Good job on taking someone who actually had a sense of humor and throwing it in their face. "
Good job failing to understand, no matter how clear I've made it time and time again, that SC is my Everest and that when I stick up for/praise him I'm doing so sincerely. Nothing was thrown in his face here except my love/obsession. In fact, I believe I referred to him as the king, and told the Journal to get off his case. Then I showed a picture of him looking like the regal-ass motherfucker he is. In sum: S a fucking D.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 6:46PM
Do you have the other picture with the ball on her ass?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 6:47PM
@77 - Sure Bess because the majority of the comments on this page aren't hate filled or anything like that.
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 7:28PM
Gee, how many more ex-trader/analyst under investigation stories have to come out before that's all stevie will be doing is playing golf?
Posted by guest , Nov 12, 2009 8:10PM
If SC was a real hitter he would be resting his balls on her chin - just sayin'
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:00AM
@83 surely you're not small minded enough to think that bess can control what the public's perception of SC is, are you? last I checked that was his publicist's job.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:04AM
@77/83 are you serious? bess has stated her opinion plainly. she is a fan of SC. do you expect everyone to be in the exact same agreement? also, you're confusing humor with hate. you should get a sense of the latter. most people here, while making jokes, respect Steve C. get off your high horse.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:09AM
@83 get off SC's dick. he posed for these pictures, and distributed them. once they're out of his hands, case closed. if he was embarrassed about them, he wouldnt have handed them out. since he did, we can assume he's fine w them. he's a big boy (/billionaire). he'll be fine. piss off.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:49AM
@87 "Bess a fan of SC"?? "Most people here making jokes, respect Steve C."??? Are you blind? Did that putt-putt S&M hat slide down and blind you Mrs. C? Or are you attempting to put spin on comments that show the pervasive lack of respect for SC? Everyone on the Street knows he's a raving lunatic nutjob and that photo really says it all.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:55AM
88 is Alex Cohen, w/o question.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 7:14AM
Disgusting.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 9:40AM
I heard he's in blackface on the king of spades
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 1:54PM
I just realized how this all works: the mothership is SAC Capital, and SAC funds these other hedge funds, who are started by ex-traders of SAC. Why does he do this? Why did he fund Julie Mackelowe's fund, for example, or any of these people, like Adam Sender? Well, it's because these people can get the information he needs from their sources without being at SAC. SAC can profit from these people's activities by simply investing in the fund. This way, Cohen and SAC aren't directly implicated in any wrong doing...SAC doesn't trade the stocks in question, only the splinter funds do. Yet SAC profits. Ingenious.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 2:11PM
@93 1. it took you that long to realize all that? 2. did sc give money to macklowe? i thought it was all from izzy englander.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 2:37PM
@94 izzy gave her money to start her new fund. she was funded previously by SAC, about 150 mil, the standard rate, though people falsely claim she worked at sac. she didnt but she worked out of the offices. this is also standard.
i also just read that choo beng lee, the guy who helped run stratix, asked cohen for a job after closing stratix in march 2009. i guess i missed the significance of this - the feds probably asked him to do so in order to get inside SAC. This would suggest they are really gunning to take SAC down.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 2:40PM
will raj turn on Cohen, if he can?
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 2:44PM
@95 that also suggests SEC doesn't have what they need to take the firm down.
its amazing to me how SEC are using gang infiltration tactics to take these guys down like wiretapping and planted moles.
i too wonder if raj will turn on cohen if he can.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 2:44PM
@95 hmm are you sure? pretty sure she was a PM for sigma, which is not the flagship but still an SAC fund.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 2:47PM
i bet u they take down adam sender. he traded in emc corp in 2007 heavily and is funded by cohen, one of the first. this guy already had a rap sheet with anthony pellicano dealings and other stuff. fuked up.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 2:47PM
@97 by 'turn on cohen,' do you mean sell him out or get him hard?
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 2:52PM
@99 you're a god damn idiot. you know that, right? (also, Sender hasn't had SAC money for several years now.)
Posted by GUEST , Nov 13, 2009 2:57PM
@98 u r right. i stand corrected. however, i know she was given 150 to "manage." i dont think this affects my overall thesis.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 2:58PM
The very rich are different from you and me.
~S. Fitzgerald
Blinking Green Light
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 3:02PM
@101 lol @ your ignorance. which part is "idiotic" exactly?
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 3:11PM
deepcapture.com has been reporting on sender being an sac crony for some time.
so what if cohen pulled his money recently? what exactly does that prove? i dont believe he pulled his money from sender's firm in the first place and i dont believe you're in a position to know.
lastly, if he did pull his money it can only be for bad reasons anyway.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 3:16PM
@105 deep capture is also a deranged lunatic. what does it prove? it proves that when you stated sender currently had SAC money you were wrong.
Posted by gobstopper , Nov 13, 2009 3:31PM
106 = adam sender
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2009 1:58AM
yeah it also proves that cohen pulled his money from sender cause hes a dingbat umpa lumpa who put stevie at risk. what an idiot. @105, if ur working with sender i would get the fuck out.....now.
Posted by Harvard Crimson , Nov 15, 2009 5:27AM
So, Mr. Cohen's alma mater finally wins one against Harvard and all of a sudden he's taken up golf and pretending to be a WASP?
What's next?
A 10 foot Douglas Fir Christmas tree in the lobby?
He dumps Alex for a 30 something vegan from Vermont whose lineage dates back to the Mayflower?
He trades his pastel pink Frederick's of Hollywood silk XXX nightie in for a pair of flannel PJ's from LL Bean?
Posted by guest , Nov 15, 2009 9:31AM
@109 the picture was taken 5-6 yrs ago