No one (not currently on payroll in Charlotte) wants to be CEO of Bank of America. That much is obvious. Not Ken Lewis, not anyone. Included in that group of people: Bank of New York Mellon Robert Kelly. And yet, despite having their calls forward to The Rejection Line, several times at this point, BAC seems to be having some difficulty getting the message. Concluding that brain trust down south would not fuck off and leave him alone unless a more direct approach was taken, the Kelly shot the team this message:
From: Robert P KellyTo: Operating Committee
Date: 11/04/2009 02:00 PM
Subject: Bank of America Speculation
——————————————————————————-
There have been some press reports this week that say I might be interested in the CEO job at Bank of America. I want to be clear: I am not interested.
Frankly, the Wall Street Journal got it right when they said I wouldn’t leave because our company is well positioned with a very bright future. I couldn’t agree more. I look forward to crafting the future with you.
Bob
In related news, BAC consumer banking chief Brian Moynihan, feeling the need to come to the firm’s defense, since no one else will, has made the bold claim that this is a dream job a million girls would kill for, himself included.
“Anybody would want this job, it’s one of the best jobs in the business,” Moynihan told Reuters on the sidelines of a speaking engagement in Los Angeles.
“This is a great company and I will continue to do a great job for it, no matter what the outcome.”
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 10:35AM
There was a moment right there to break out the all caps and proclaim
"I AM NOT INTERESTED".
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 10:41AM
Speaking of teams... Burnett looks like she's trying out for the CNBC varsity Tits team today.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 10:43AM
BoA BOD: I am interested and have several other offers.
-J. Chiang
UT, Class of 2010
Posted by Tax Chick , Nov 05, 2009 10:47AM
"...no matter what the outcome.” Now there is a ringing endorsement for the future of BAC.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 10:50AM
crafting the future is the new killing it
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 10:56AM
Bess,
This was sent yesterday at 2pm EST. You have tipsters in CT libraries but can't seem to get your hands on an email nearly 21 hours AFTER it was sent? Christ, this had a better chance of showing up on page six.
Bob Hope could have driven a paper copy over in his golf cart faster than you can cut-and-paste.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:00AM
@6 you're a tool.
Posted by Bess Levin , Nov 05, 2009 11:01AM
@6 you cut me so bad.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:02AM
@7 doesn't get it
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:04AM
@9 no, there's nothing to "get." 6 is a douche who needs to kill himself asap.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:10AM
@6: shut your filthy whore mouth.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:12AM
Not Interested = Interested
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:13AM
2nd @10. @6, could you do it in some spectacular way? like self-immolation or something? because so far this morning you have failed to entertain me.
kthnx
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:14AM
Bullshit!!! If anyone is going to "craft the future", it is I.
~Nostradoofus
Seer and Vizier
Pox, Austria
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:15AM
@12, true story. Not interested yet still talking to them=still thinking about them=just makes that much it hotter when she finally says yes.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:21AM
@10,11,13 Bess
Guys lay off of @6. It's obvously Robert Kelly and he REALLY wants to make sure the word gets spread around as quickly as possible that he's not interested.
Give the guy a break, he just got insinuated as being in line for one of the worst jobs in the world. How would you be responding right now if you were in his shoes?
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:26AM
@6 - I hope you are devoured by a mutant walrus today in front of all your coworkers.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:32AM
This is all blue smoke and mirrors bullshit until they install Mark Kelin, M.D. as the new CEO.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:39AM
Help Wanted
CEO, Bank of America
No prior banking or financial experience necessary. Ability to shovel shit and pick up Boone's Wine Bottles a serious requirement.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:40AM
@17 I like the cut of your jib. -13
Posted by ex-BAC , Nov 05, 2009 11:43AM
The only true successor for BAC is some egotistical, despotic leader, who cares nothing but for him or her self, ala Ken Lewis. Getting someone who would share management responsibility and act as a leader of others would crash the existing culture at BAC. Maybe some Russian oligarch is available who could fit in to the organization. By the way, with all of the angst about the Merrill Lynch deal, did stockholders ever figure out if the $23 billion BAC spent for LaSalle Bank was economically justifiable or was it just Ken Lewis's personal decision?
Posted by ex-BAC , Nov 05, 2009 11:44AM
The only true successor for BAC is some egotistical, despotic leader, who cares nothing but for him or her self, ala Ken Lewis. Getting someone who would share management responsibility and act as a leader of others would crash the existing culture at BAC. Maybe some Russian oligarch is available who could fit in to the organization. By the way, with all of the angst about the Merrill Lynch deal, did stockholders ever figure out if the $23 billion BAC spent for LaSalle Bank was economically justifiable or was it just Ken Lewis's personal decision?
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:46AM
@ 21/22 - Kim Jong Il II, perhaps?
@2 - the V.T.T. - I like it.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:57AM
not interested = make me a better offer
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 11:58AM
methinks he doth protesteth too much
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 12:50PM
Since they pulled the Charolette residency requirement, and it appears Jon Corzine needs a job after Tuesday, why not pitch the BoA gig to him?
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:29PM
Second 6. Bess covers every fart from CG but relevant 'dealbreaker' news for professionals is at the back of the bus. Love dealbreaker, but let's take a second look at content.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:33PM
@27 wtf are you talking about? this was covered, because you're reading the post. you do get that the email went out at 2 yesterday, but it wasn't printed in the journal til this morning, at which time bess discussed it (just as db has been discussing the matter of the bac ceo for a while now). do you expect bess to get every email sent by everyone who works on wall street? kill yourself.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 1:47PM
@28
That's fucking hilarious. Are you on the stage?
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 2:50PM
The problem here is simple, there's no Sour Diesel or Purple Haze in Charlotte.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 3:44PM
@ 28
WSJ timestamp: NOVEMBER 5, 2009, 9:42 AM ET
TheBusinessInsider.com: Nov. 5, 2009, 9:42 AM
DealBreaker timestamp: Nov 05, 2009, 10:28am
Business Insider and WSJ both had hands on this over 45 minutes before Bess found "at which time to discuss it." It's nearly 4pm now, at which time it's now best for you to kindly piss off.
-Alicia Wetmore
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 3:45PM
@31 NO ONE CARES ABT THIS STUPID STORY, OR WHEN IT WAS POSTED, YOU FUCKING FAG.
Posted by guest , Nov 05, 2009 7:11PM
@32
"best for you to piss off" doesn't mean "get pissed off." Take your tantrum where someone cares.
Posted by guest , Nov 06, 2009 1:15AM
moaR pix plox