Are you expecting to receive an obscene amount of cashola this bonus season? What one might characterize as perhaps an “ungodly” amount? Are you feeling slightly conflicted about it, ’cause while you love all that ka-ching! on your face, you get the sense it might mean you’re going to burn in hell, sinner? Fear not. Barclays chief John Varley has spoken to Jesus and it is all good. He wants you to get paid:

John Varley stood at the wooden lectern in St. Martin-in-the- Fields on London’s Trafalgar Square last night and told the packed pews of the church that “profit is not satanic.”
“Is Christianity and banking compatible? Yes,” he said in an interview after the speech in the 283-year-old church. “And is Christianity and fair reward compatible? Yes.”

“The injunction of Jesus to love others as ourselves is an endorsement of self-interest,” Goldman’s Griffiths said Oct. 20, his voice echoing around the gold-mosaic walls of St. Paul’s Cathedral, whose 365-feet-high dome towers over the City, London’s financial district. “We have to tolerate the inequality as a way to achieving greater prosperity and opportunity for all.”

Comments (34)

  1. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:50 AM

    These sorts of stories never get old.
    ~Satan

  2. Posted by Lucy Van Pelt | November 4, 2009 at 10:51 AM

    In all of history, there has never been more damage done than by people like Jesus who thought they were doing the right thing.

  3. Posted by Investorcluzo | November 4, 2009 at 10:51 AM

    does this mean goldman is part of the “Jews for Jesus” set?

  4. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:52 AM

    Just another screwed up interpretation of what I’m looking for.
    - God

  5. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:53 AM

    Goldman killed Jesus.

  6. Posted by Cerano | November 4, 2009 at 10:55 AM

    Are yout rying to say Jesus Christ couldn’t hit a curve ball?

  7. Posted by Pedro Cerano | November 4, 2009 at 10:55 AM

    Are yout rying to say Jesus Christ couldn’t hit a curve ball?

  8. Posted by Pedro Cerano | November 4, 2009 at 10:55 AM

    Are you trying to say Jesus Christ couldn’t hit a curve ball?

  9. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    If Barclays will send me a billion dollars as a show of faith, “sewing a seed”, etc., etc., I can promise them everlasting peace and salvation because such is written by me.
    ~Rev. Earnest Lee Sincere
    Blister, OK

  10. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    Chucky Gasbag interview on New York website, cue the duckboats. Hes pounding his chest something awful in this one, does his book have pop-ups?

  11. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:02 AM

    @10 that thing was a total yawn-fest.

  12. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:03 AM

    You know, I am on the bonus “fair reward” committee.
    ~Lucifer Beelzebub
    Pale Rider Capital Management, LLC
    Eternal Soul, CT

  13. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:07 AM

    This guy is really going out of his way to get fucked by Jesus.

  14. Posted by pfluger | November 4, 2009 at 11:11 AM

    Goldman’s offices are the 21st Century Temple of Herod, and Andrew Cuoumo will drive out the merchants and moneychangers at 85 Broad.

  15. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:15 AM

    I seriously question the intelligence and judgement of anyone in my firm who is f ucking dumb enough to say something like this. These two have to be mentally retarded in some manner. Especially on the issues above—-usury and selfishness are obviously pretty much banned in any religion so to even attempt to justify such issues IN A CHURCH NO LESS shows severe signs of mentally f ucked narcissism.

  16. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:16 AM

    Personally, I follow the teachings of Brian. Especially the parable of the Gourd.

  17. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:16 AM

    Money is the root of all [good things].

  18. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:27 AM

    Jesus was a Mason?
    I’ll be damned.

  19. Posted by Becky Boot Fan | November 4, 2009 at 11:28 AM

    @16…throw off the gourd! FOLLOW THE SHOE!!!!

  20. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    “Don’t make me come down there!”
    -Jesus

  21. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    “If we fail to pay or are constrained from paying competitive rates then that talent will move to another employer.”
    Let me make this clear. We are now engaged in an all-out, existential bidding war with the Goddamned Devil Himself for banking talent. Let’s face it most bankers are well-intended and willing, but the flesh is weak (very). So we’ve got to beat the Devil at his own game. Not pretty, but Main Street will be better off someday for it. Make sure to leave your wallets in the collection box on the way out. Have a nice fucking day.

  22. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:39 AM

    @6-8
    Hats for bats, keep bats warm…
    You have no marbles

  23. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:39 AM

    @6-8
    Hats for bats, keep bats warm…
    You have no marbles

  24. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    Goldman: “We have to tolerate the inequality as a way to achieving greater prosperity and opportunity for all.”
    Barclays: “Jesus loves bonuses.”
    TGFD hates the motherf*ckers. I’d love to see their skin burned right off of them.
    There will be no reform of any kind, anytime soon. Count on that.
    TGFD is looking forward to the day when Main Street’s “confusion turns into fury.”
    Mark-to-Market rules changes ignited the ludicrous rally, but the toxic turds are all still there. obama, pelosi & reed skillfully diverted public attention to health care while Main Street’s portfolios went up.
    All the shit is going to come back, though, and TGFD hopes it’s very soon rather than later. I want to watch what Wall Streeters do when they really have something to fear.
    The Guy from Delaware

  25. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:50 AM

    Ouch!!!! Effing eye of a needle!!! How the eff DO you get through one of these things???
    ~Barclay’s Bonus Recipient

  26. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 12:17 PM

    This is no different from those prosperity gospel morons

  27. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 12:58 PM

    It is very bad to steal Jobu’s rum. Very bad.

  28. Posted by In God We Trust | November 4, 2009 at 1:01 PM

    I knew that Adam and Eve experiment would backfire one day…
    ~God

  29. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 1:05 PM

    Slogan for times…
    Save your dignity, Cold cock a banker.

  30. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 1:26 PM

    I think if you’re going to go making shit up to suit your salary you’re a pussy for not going all the way to Xenu.
    After all, even we went all the way: we got the fucking Pope.
    -Irishman

  31. Posted by movie quote police | November 4, 2009 at 6:18 PM

    @6,7,8 – i said that.
    Eddie Harris
    PS – Jobu needs a refill

  32. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:33 PM

    I burn in Hell all the time. It’s no big deal.
    - B Rubin

  33. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:37 PM

    TGFD would probably cast the first stone.

  34. Posted by guest | November 5, 2009 at 6:46 AM

    The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good.

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