When Zvi “Octopussy” Goffer decided to dip one of his tentacles in the sweetness of insider trading, do you think he realized all that he’d be forced to give up if caught? Obviously we’re not talking about his wife, child, and freedom to wear tracksuits here, but rather the chance to wake up with his brother and a bunch of other dudes the morning after what appears to have been quite the rager?
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
That was a testicle, not a tentacle, and, well, the consequences are dire.
what the fuck kind of dildo is that thing? (the green thing).
Super Ballsy Cock, duh…
Is that a tiger in the bathroom?
The maroon pleather sectional says I can afford the finer things in life, but the children’s toys say CPS is on the way.
What a shitty-looking apartment.
The Guy from Delaware
G&T’s and bong hits.
-JimmayC
these guys are the biggest bunch of jewbroni meatheads. awesome.
I will have to crash that thing this year! Yummay!
-ping j
@2 its a part of the multicolored baby bouncy chair in the foreground.
-Guy whose kid has the same bouncy chair
they should be put away just for that couch! Tragic!
they were insider trading and that’s the nicest apt they could afford?
Livin the Piker Dream
@naked- okay but can it be used as a dildo?
-2/andrea tong
10 comments and no thinly-veiled reference to jail time?
Fine:
It’s good to see that Emanuel and Zvi are already used to spending rough nights in close quarters with a bunch of dudes.
Wastin away again in margaritaville
Searching for my lost shaker of salt
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame
But I know it’s nobodys fault
@14 given enough lubrication you can turn any object into a dildo
ditto @12
also, I’m guessing UES, north of 86th, east of 2nd, although I can’t tell if those are weird “parquet” floors or linoleum (although there isn’t really much difference, is there?)
Oh yeah…and these guys are “shitheels”.
@anal_yst- nope. they live(d) on long island.
Dude! You got a tattoo!
So do you, dude! Dude, what does my tattoo say?
“Sweet!” What about mine?
“Dude!” What does mine say?
“Sweet!” What about mine?
“Dude!” What does mine say?
“Sweet!” What about mine?
“Dude!” What does mine say?
“Sweet!” What about mine?
“Dude!” What does mine say?
Fuck this shit lets go trade on inside information
i bet that room smells like dirty ass and matza
Definitely not a Nashville party.
where’s all the naked guys?
-dennis kneale
Is that lousy apartment the best you can get for $850 per month in the Carl Schurz Park area? What a waste of money.
The Guy from Delaware
sleeping on the pull out of a pleather couch next to another guy is the new killing it.
Anal_yst: I’ve been in that room, the Levelor blind in the background is hiding a roll-up garage door.
–the guy who lives next door
seen Zvi’s employment history? 14 job switches in 10 years?
@23 YES! Spread the gospel
i’m sure this is really an advanced scene from Money Never Sleeps
Class A Space in the Incremental Crapital Offices
Who wants to see me gape?
Dennis Kneale
@29/NS-
Pretty sure @23 was referencing Miley Cyrus’s new hit single “Party in the USA.” Just FYI. Your enthusiasm implied Nashville (possibly Vandy) pride and not necessarily an understanding of the song.
-guy who has some Miley on his iPod
Caption Contest: “So that’s why they call you Octopussy…”
Props director from Miami Vice just called. They’d like their set back for the filming of the remake.
@34 of course I knew that.
-Fellow non closeted Party in the USA fan
Pleather sectional from Jennifer leather: $1999
Bouncy Chair with Attached Super Ballsy Cock (7″, uncut): $49
Apartment with the jewbros in Dormandy Court: $2750/mo
Waking up 69ing your brother on said sectional and knowing you are a hedge fund BALLER: Priceless
These comments are not good enough. Please try harder.
Jewbroni
“You’re the quarterback now, Mox.”
MileyCyrusFans@#34,#37…
You clowns must be even younger than TGFD thought.
Well, I guess that shitty apartment looks pretty good to you then.
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. Guest@#27…Yours is the funniest comment on this thread.
MileyCyrusFans@#34,#37…
You clowns must be even younger than TGFD thought.
Well, I guess that shitty apartment looks pretty good to you then.
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. Guest@#27…Yours is the funniest comment on this thread.
@ 41,
how old is TGFD?
- Not a spring chicken here
Please disregard my #42. It didn’t really happen. Thank you.
The Guy from Delaware
I wonder which one “ate the cracker”?
whats with the photos and display plates? This guy’s girlfriend “decorated” his place? Or, doeas a woman actually choose to live there? Either way, her parents were never happy about her life choices…
In other news, I’ve had that Miley song in my head for about a week now… I’m gona say it’s not as bad as the new Britney counting song.
43 All you need to know about TGFD is that he is probably standing in front of a mirror now trying to convince himself about how important he thinks he is.
Guest@#43…
You must be new around here.
TGFD is 60, full head of hair(not gray), buffed, chicks of all ages, and good social connections.
I don’t want to brag about myself, but since you asked…
The Guy from Delaware
@46 both goffer brothers are married with small children.
@43 RE:#48 I rest my case.
Is anybody else naked right now, because I am.
Dennis Kneale
Three words:
bridge
and
tunnel
Looks like it would be a lot of fun to roll with these guys.
- CFA Charterholder
So, basically all the inside traders and ponzi schemers are of the israeli or asian persuasion?
@53 Ahh yeah uh hmm.
So where was the holiday party? Upstairs at Sutton Place? Calico Jack’s?
@27
Looks like my grandparents/aunts place in Queens, so I guess that makes sense. Also, roll-up garage doors covered with off the rack blinds are the new killing it.
@ Tax Chick
That’s definitely a Bob’s Discount Furniture/Raymour & Flanigan/Huffman Koo’s pull-out sofa, no way Jennifer Convertibles.
–guy who knows way too much about couches
@54 – you got a problem with that?
@51…hilarious!!
-some random gay guy who has blown dennis kneale
@4
“Where’s Doug?. Btw, there’s a tiger in the bathroom”
I’d imagine that the correlation between t-shirt wearing and inside trading is pretty high. Probably similar to the fat guy t-shirt correlation.
Love the infant bouncy seat in the lower right corner.
Nice touch.
@ 58, ROR!
“My Life in FPMITAP – a cautionary tale”
by Zvi Golfer.
The dildo-looking green knob is in fact part of a baby toy. Specifically, the Fisher-Price Rainforest Jumparoo. In a pinch I’m sure it could work as a modified bungie sex swing. The girl would need to probably be a size 4 or smaller to fit.
Guest@#50…
Very good. Very brief. TGFD likes your style.
The Guy from Delaware
@54 – you rirry-rivered rabia ricker, say to my face!
TGFD,
You have yellow fever, doncha?
Ads on DB make me want to get Cadirrac.
Chou Bing Lee
38 ftw for dormandy court reference.
-Pauline the bartender from Kinsale
When we woke a toxic mixture of Mambo cologne, sex and pizza had entered the air renderring our senses wothless. And then we caught Salomon Kentucky Glue Gunning Grandma’s toilet. Needless to say, Salomon was not invited back.
- Guy who was there
Did you kirr brack swan, Rarry?
Ewww, dude on the cot, enough with greasers, already.
Zvi: Del… Why did you kiss my ear?
Emanuel: Why are you holding my hand?
Zvi: Where’s your other hand?
Emanuel: Between two pillows…
Zvi: Those aren’t pillows!
note that the organs of the two on the pullout are still aligned
“Man, i can’t believe this.. Manny has only been finger-banging my sphincter for like under 5 mins and just passes out like that…”
Zvi: “Let me just stretch out here a sec and then i’ll finish ya off”
@71 Father of an asshole, and swan killer
Shia-it, that was good head.
@74 uhh, how so? one of them is on their back.
@62 stirr hirarious second time!
@ 79,
Sank you!
@62
beamers just went on the market……..
Layin’ on sofa beds is the new killin’ it.
Hate to see these fckin guys if they weren’t insider trading.
the mba/cfa debate continues…cfa -4 (including the dbag that is taking the photo)
@Anal
Tried to find it for you; to put your mind at ease. Instead I lost 20 minutes of my life.
This picture would be a lot better if a collie pounding me in the ass was in it.
Dennis Kneale
No one cares about the comments from a guy who chooses to live in Delaware. Seriously, STFU you moron.
kaiser@81 beamers as in beamers cafe in ct?!?!?
-sc
@86 – TGFD can say what he wants cause at least it’s funny… what the hell do you offer up chump?
As Zvi soon learned, Incremental Capital employees do not pull out, unlike his red pleather sectional.
Anyone know what holiday these guys were celebrating?
–curious gentile
@tax chick
A brief check of r&f and bob’s websites yielded a few ~70% probabilities, but no perfect matches. Clearly their gaudy couch-buying prowess is far beyond anything we could hope to achieve in our lifetimes.
@ 87
as in their leased 3-series BMW’s
@88m if you think hes funny you are obviously a gigantic tool who can sympathize with the tools above. Back to making your boss’ coffee you piker.
Today is Punch a Muslim day. Everybody celebrate.
Douche @86/92, relax.
He grows on you after a while like benign cancer.
-Not 88
@93 illustrates perfectly why the DB comment board is the BEST on the interweb!!!
Good work everyone…
Sometimes he annoys the crap out of me but he does occasionally make some good points.
Bessy doesn’t seem to ban him so much these days …??
-not 94
-not 88
How do you get a one-armed Polish guy out of a tree?
Wave.
Warm up those B52′s for a carpet bombing run.
room must have the aroma of a week old Gaspo fart. Bess must be be aroused at the thought!
room must have the aroma of a week old Gaspo fart. Bess must be be aroused at the thought!
@ 100, see @22
@Anal
Floated around on Bob’s for a while. Horrified by what I found. I also determined that the IC douchebags also must be renters since there isn’t an ounce of paint on their walls. Anyone with decent cash flows, at a minimum, has their walls painted. These fools are becoming more pathetic by the minute.
This is the best I could find
http://www.afwonline.com/ic280frm.asp?PRODNO=1B-730-2PC&VIEWALL=yes&&COMBO1=2018&ProdDesc=Red%202%20Piece%20Sectional
Whose jizz is leaking out of Octopussy’s butt?
That couch is BALLING!
-RBS rainmaker
@ Tax Chick
Just went on the Bob’s website and my jaw dropped. Ghastly.
Is having really horrible taste some kind of prerequisite for involvement in this whole mess? I mean, think this guy’s apartment and tight t-shirts, Raj-Raj with his brown suit and McMansion, Chiese, etc…
This song says everything about these fellas’ future:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEARRLul0Sg
@NOB
Did you see the one that looks like piles of dingleberries all clumped together? I just about eye gouged myself.
And yes, there must be some correlation between bad taste and criminal activity. Ever been in a mobster’s house?! Just think Sopranos, but worse.
@90 gentiles celebrate, jews observe. fyi.
@93 that’s every day.
@108 I thought Tony’s house was OK, furniture wise. It was Moltisanti’s place with the leather sofas etc. which had the goomba vibe.
@93 – I just celebrated!
@ 107
maybe they’ll find a cuddly bear inside.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hi6yfgOclw
(just an excuse to play the clip, really)
@Tax Chick
I didn’t get that far; was mesmerized by the portable electric fireplace with remote control– “Great Gift Idea!”
Downloading Miley Cyrus songs onto your iPod? Free
Legally downloading Miley Cyrus songs onto your iPod? Very inexpensive
Looking yourself in the mirror the next day? A bit tricky.
Tossing said contaminated iPod into recycling bin? Priceless.
One hundred thirteen!
@110
I didn’t specific whose house and I modified it with “worse”.
And we were discussing the correlation between bad taste and criminal activity. If Tony’s house has a certain appeal to you, perhaps we will be reading about you next. Just sayin’
@NOB
I threw up in my mouth.
http://www.mybobs.com/Superbob_Fab.aspx
Who came on the dude’s stomach on the left?
@100 get some new material.
@118 – I did.
Greg
@117/@Tax
I can’t un-see that. My word.
@Tax Chick
Having automobile cup holders built into your furniture is the new killing it.
@ Tax Chick
That is truly amazing. Extra cup holders and lights underneath??? Looks more like an acid test.
NO PHONY GIMMICKS
JUST PURE VALUE!
@ tax chick
dingleberries, mmmm! (puke)
@110
Tony’s house was pretty goomba (upper middle class goomba at least); ornate detailing, fountain, etc
http://www.mybobs.com/Galleria.aspx
MERRY CHRISTMAS HONEY!!!!!
I think i’m gonna get a Bob’s couch and invite some balding jewtailians over for a massive rager, who wants in on that (come on, it’ll be fun, we can funnel brews just like in college, it’ll be so awesome bro!)
The more I stare at this picture (yes, avoiding work), the more I think these fools were waitstaff at the Christmas party. They are all wearing black pants and white shirts. Sounds like hired help to me.
@Anal – I’m in. It’s been a while since I’ve done a keg stand, but I’m told it’s like riding a bike.
Only if the keg is Heinken Light or Corona, bro.
TaxChick@#128…
Why do you keep staring at the picture? One shitty apartment looks just like any other shitty apartment.
BTW, those “white shirts” are tee shirts, but TGFD can’t tell if they’re V or crew.
Is that what the waitstaff wear at your Christmas party? No wonder you’re up for a “keg stand”.
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. TGFD’s just f*cking with you; don’t get your ass up.
@TGFD – ass firmly planted. But thanks for your concern.
I guess I stare because it is something of a train wreck. I can’t look away. And it has been some time since I have seen a shitty little apartment. Safely ensconced in my leafy suburb.
TaxChick@#130…
Glad to hear it.
The Guy from Delaware
(Safely ensconced in my trailer)
@TaxChick
Whenever you’re leave your leafy suburb and make it into the citay, holler back, we’ll get you back into prime kegstand condition in no time flat, and if you’re lucky, I’ll teach you how to Gargoyle a keg, yea, the advanced frat boy sh*t, booya
(FD: not a frat guy)
@Anal – in the City on a daily basis. Turns out it is damn expensive to insure all these leaves. They keep falling off the f*cking trees – then there is no ensconcing.
Cluzo/T.C/Anal/TGFD,
Get a room sparkling wiggles.
@134 you say what I’m thinking
I just went into a Crown Royal induced tirade with a Bobs employee because they don’t deliever to Miami. New high? New low?
@naked
both strangely enough
@134
at least 1 of the us would take offense to that, just an fyi
@naked
early start, eh? Try Raymour & Flanigan or Ashley
@anal_yst – I don’t take offense at the a$$hats that are @134/135, but I will lmfao when their daughters come home after getting knocked up by one of my peeps…payback is a b1tch.
who wants a moustache ride?
[...] Former Galleon employee Zvi Goffer, his Emanuel Goffer and Michael Kimelman, their partner at Incremental Capital, were found guilty this morning on “fraud and conspiracy to commit insider trading” charges. They each face 25 years in prison, meaning it’s going to be along time before another one of these: [...]