Many of you have long been under the assumption that the origin of one of our nickname’s for Charlie Gasparino– “No Sleeves”– was merely my deeply disturbed brain. That it had no basis in reality, etc. Untrue. For years Chaz has worked out in Champion sweatshirts and tee’s with the sleeves cut off. Late last Friday, Fast Money backed me up on this one.
At 4:08, behold as NS lets “the illegal firearms” (his words) breathe while working out. It’s footage from a longer clip in which CG does a guided tour of the then brand new gym out in Englewood Cliff’s, shot before CG made his contributions to literature. I’m working on getting my hands on the full-length, not only because we need to see this thing raw and uncut to fully appreciate it, but because the above contains no audio, which is vital. In the interim, we’re told it goes something like this: “Here we have the BowFlex, which after the can, is where I do all my best thinking. This model nice, but compared to the high end one I got at home, which I got for Christmas, it’s a piece of shit. Okay ready? [To guy off camera: When I get going, make sure to zoom in on my tats real close. Not kidding, I'll fuckin' kill ya if you don't get this right.] You’re gonna love this. Who’s spotting me? I need a fuckin’ spotter over here!! Maria!!! [Inaudible screaming punctuated by shouts of 'Ba fungool!']
Bess, you rock.
That’s what I do, I drink martinis and I work out.
All class. I f-in love this guy.
Bess, how horny are you right now? This is like finding buried treasure.
too donkey punch, didnt dirty sanchez
Cliff’s… weak
Chazza over ARS any day. (chest beat, chest beat, salute) Respect!
“That’s what I do, I drink martinis and I work out.”
awesome. (and he was clearly drinking martinis before this segment.)
“my deeply disturbed brain”
Aha, I KNEW it!
-Biff Bassness
@3 please. the only thing that gets her hot is this piece of meat.
-SC
wow – pretty lame for a Bess post – you had it going fairly well until the unfunny pretend screenplay at the end.
@10 actually it was hilarious and a dead on imitation.
@10 = italian anti defamation league rep
ron blarney@10 jump off a cliff
Over/under on how frequently Bess gets laid in a month.
I say 8.75
@14 you left that same comment on a post last week, creep show. give it a rest.
@10 sleeps wit da fishes
@14 you need to STFU and focus on my guns.
-cg
As a resident of Stuy town, I can confirm Charlie’s use of Sarge’s awning as a substitute for resistance parachute training.
I’ve also seen him kill a man with a pimento, for what it’s worth.
-Customer de la Yan
Chaz, watching you punish your lats gets me harder than Chinese arithmetic. CALL ME.
-guest
@15 stalking @14 is a little creepy, too, in my opinion.
@10
@21 I saw what you did there. Not cool
@10/20, please consider others and keep your “opinion” to yourself.
kthnx
People are angry today. What gives?
@21 start by having something to say, though.
I live in the Gerald Towers Building in Rego Park Queens on the 11th floor. My name is Charlie Gasparino. I’m 47 years old. I believe in taking care of myself and a balanced diet of dirty martinis and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning if my face is a little puffy I’ll fix myself a Screwdriver with Skol Vodka while doing butterfly curls. I can do 1000 now. After I finish my 3rd Screwdriver I use Stridex Anti-Bacterial Foaming Wash. In the shower I use AXE Thai Massage a fragrance infused with Brazilian hot mud and red dragon fruit extract, then Old Spice High Endurance Body Wash Arctic Force, and on the face an two tablespoons of I Can’t Believe Its Not Butter. Then I apply Biore Pore Perfect Deep Cleansing Strips that I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with a lot of alcohol, because in a pinch it will do to keep my buzz going. Then Jergens Naturals Ultra Hydrating
Daily Moisturizer is applied to my face with the excess lotion used as lubricant for my first masturbation session of the morning.
Hey guys ;)
How does this post not have 100 comments already?
@17/cg:
Is it true that you need a spotter for your Bow Flex?
@10/20 it was hilarious. kill yourself.
@Naked looks like someone came to work today.
Merissa Ree
She pray joke
She put pee pee
In my coke
tee hee tee hee
I’d hit that.
-Caster Semenya
How does this post not have 100 comments already?
@33 leave your comment a 3rd time. we’ll get there.
@27 nothing else needs to be said after that gem from Naked
Gattling Guns Gym
4321 Howitzer Rd,
Englewood Cliffs, NJ 08201
Member: Gasparino, C.
***********************************
Club Charges to Date
Incredible Hulk Workout T………………….. …………22.00
High cut dayglo orange gym shorts…………………32.00
Black Tube socks w/custom sewn “wings”…………27.00
Circus mirrors………………………………………………88.00
Meatball Sandwich……………………………………….. 12.00
Lunch for 52 during “Gaspo’s GunShow”…………500.00.
254 Video Copies “Gaspo’s Gun Show”…………..750.00
X-Ray Glasses…………………………………………. 8.00
Jack LaLanne Custom Codpiece……………………. 44.00
Hulk Hogan “Skullet” Wig……………………………. 31.00
Lifesize photo Arnold Swartzeneggar (missing head and groin area………….125.00
Custom fit bottom half “Centaur” costume………334.00
Custom shaving:”Sellout” into back hair………….. 75.00
Collection&bottling clients perspiration for sale….75.00
Custom headband with Sopranos Cast Images……26.00
Tape Recording client’s heavy breathing……………45.00
Speedo w/silk screened image A. R. Sorkin……….39.00
Tattoo own name on right bicep……………………..75.00
@36 please don’t leave us again.
@14
she’d get it more if she’d stop stealing all my good ideas
ARS
@Naked
100% Comment of the day.
@36 with a respectable effort.
I like dis @Naked buy better than dis @Anal guy.
@40 It seems like you’ve been on his case all day. What did he do to you?
At approx 1m 20 sec in the video … Gasp says Bruce wanted to expand into areas like Merchant Banking and Restructuring … wtf is he talking about? Lazard is already the most relevant restructuring shop on the street…
@41 – self explanatory, no? When was the last time you hit refresh just to see what Anlst has to add?
NS posts are (usually) funny and creative. Remember HB Capital? Beth can retire on that post alone.
Thank you.
“The only thing worse than Goldman Sachs amassing close to $20 billion in bonus money for its executives based on various government subsidies and bailout measures is listening to senior executives there trying to explain it all away.”
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/charles-gasparino/post_439_b_351116.html
@43 (volatilitysmile) Thanks. It struck me as something more personal.
46,
I hope your first-born never learns to read.
Nuttin betta than a post-workout martini wid a splash of my own cum on da side.
-cg
@Naked ftw