In the New York magazine profile earlier this month, Andrew Ross Sorkin said that one of the ways he’s able to land big sources is by not being “adversarial or coming to the table with an ax to grind.” The piece also claimed that many of ARS’s colleagues at the Times think it has to do with the fact that he’s too buddy-buddy with his high-profile pals, and goes way too easy on them in print. Not true, says Joe Scarborough. Not only is it a lie that Sorkin’s reporting process entails calling up CEO’s and asking for their side of the story, scheduling a meeting and suggesting he wait outside while a PR person asks some pre-approved questions, the answers of which are transcribed into a column, but these guys are horrified of ARS. So much so, Scarborough said in a radio show with Sorkin this morning, that just being told Times-boy is on the line causes them to “lose control of their bowels.”
Scarborough also claims that besides literally scaring the shit out of these guys, Sorkin is “so frightening” that they had to come to his book party and “bow down” to him. We didn’t see any head bobbing at the Too Big To Fail soiree but perhaps it went on in a backroom. Anywho, let’s do an informal poll: do Jamie Dimon, John Mack, Ken Griffin, Billy Ackman et al soil themselves at the sound of the letters “A-R-S?” And what are we to infer from the fact that Blankfein was a no show to Sorkin’s big night?
Scarborough: You offended a lot of people with your book, didn’t you?
ARS: Some.
Scarborough: Like a lot of Wall Street types.
ARS: Some were unhappy campers.
Scarborough:They’re scared of you; so they have to come and bow to you at book parties, don’t they?
ARS:I don’t know if they have to bow.
Scarborough: They’re scared of you aren’t they?
ARS: There might be a couple…hopefully not too many…I’m not too scary a guy.
Scarborough: When 60 Minutes used to call people it was the scariest call. Now it’s “Sir, Andrew Ross Sorkin on line three” and they defecate in their pants. They lose control of their bowels.
ARS: Can you say that on the radio?
Scarborough: I just did. And guess what? A lot of Wall Street people listen to us.
ARS: I don’t think I’m that scary.
Scarborough: You’re frightening.
ARS: On certain occasions.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:06PM
Of course they don't. They defaecate in CG's pants. didn't you get the memo?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:06PM
That Scarborough guy is no Larry King.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:11PM
Mack, mack, goose!
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=a.E5_P5uGTq4&pos=3
Pequot’s Zilkha Fired After Tips Ended, Senators Say (Update1)
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:14PM
The only way I can see a capable executive being "scared" of this pretty-boy lightweight who is completely in love with himself is if said executive is scared that Sorkin will not understand what he is being told and will report incorrectly. His book was very poorly edited (misspellings, double words, double sentences) and written in a staccato, simplistic prose. And there was no blinding insight within his pages (not that I expected anything, it was a reporting of facts, not an analysis). A waste of 8 hours of my life. Should have settled for the Vanity Fair excerpt and been done with it.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:17PM
@ 4 Charlie I agree.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:18PM
dat was me at @4. I've been practicin da big english.
-cg
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:20PM
See Bess if you took this gig to radio you could use words like "defecate" and "bowls" too. It's expected nowadays.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:21PM
@7 um, b/c she doesn't already?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:22PM
the only reason a source would be scared of ARS is if they were worried he was gonna use teeth in the course of the BJ.
Posted by pfluger , Nov 19, 2009 3:23PM
I lost control-a-my-bowl-a-pasta in da restaurant dis aftanoon, and it crashed to da floor. Da bastid waiter wouldn't give me a new dish, and so I'm neva goin' to da Olive Garden again.
-cg
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:27PM
they went to the book party to say thanks for the blow jobs and for the free drinks. no one is cared of sorkin.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:29PM
The only reason these guys even consider quivering at the letters ARS is because of the whole auction rate security mess. AR Sorkin is a total phony. His grasp on finance is that of a junior college art professor. I'm not even really sure how he manages to get a call back from the likes of a Jefferies intern.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:29PM
yeah i'm absolutely terrified of sorkin. no just fucking with you I eat pieces of shit like sorkin for breakfast.
-JD
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:31PM
@12 can you leave a comment that makes any sense? thanks
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:31PM
Bork bork bork.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:32PM
Hopefully they were wearing these: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CefajJzKpKA
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:33PM
wow his voice is fucking annoying
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:34PM
I shit in my source's mouths.
-cg
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:38PM
I think it's true that most people on Wall Street dislike/shy away from journalists. But there is no fucking way anyone is afraid of Sorkin. They talk to him because they know it'll be an easy blow.
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , Nov 19, 2009 3:38PM
"...cause them to lose control of their bowls"
At which point they spill cereal all over their desks?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:38PM
@12 - No fucking way I'm calling that guy back. He was way too heavy on the teeth and he didn't even look up at me.
-- Jeffries Intern
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:39PM
Unless Charlie himself is making these "cg" jokes, they are terrible. Step it up, people.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:40PM
"Sorkin’s reporting process entails calling up CEO’s and asking for their side of the story, scheduling a meeting and suggesting he wait outside while a PR person asks some pre-approved questions, the answers of which are transcribed into a column"
nailed it.
Posted by Straight Man , Nov 19, 2009 3:42PM
OK - I'll bite.
It's bowEls, people, BOWELS. Not Bowls.
–noun
1. Anatomy.
a. Usually, bowels. the intestine.
b. a part of the intestine.
2. bowels,
a. the inward or interior parts: the bowels of the earth.
b. Archaic. feelings of pity or compassion.
-Captain Obvious
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:44PM
@24 there was no need since the typo was already changed. next time hit refresh before taking the time to write cocksucking comment.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:47PM
"what are we to infer from the fact that Blankfein was a no show to Sorkin’s big night? "
that he can suck my g-plated scrot, that's what.
-LB
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:49PM
If Andrew Ross calls, the mud will fall.
Anonymous Bank CEO
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Nov 19, 2009 3:50PM
I would liken the correcting of the rare typo in Bess's work to poking a hungry leopard with a short stick.
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 19, 2009 3:57PM
24=fag. examine your sexuality.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 3:57PM
ARS, LB, and 1 cup?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 4:00PM
Bess, you are into some really kinky shit. I like that.
Mark Wahlberg
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 4:08PM
speaking of shit, dell just shit the bed. black friday tommorrow ???
Posted by Jon , Nov 19, 2009 4:08PM
I never realized how much Sorkin sounds like a Jew from the Bronx (didn't he get wasp voice lessons growing up in Scarsdale).
Gasparino scares the crap out of Wall Street chiefs all right but don't you think the rest of the minons are shaking when they get a call from Levin/Buhl or anyone from Dealbreaker?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 4:10PM
@33 "jew from the bronx"? try kid I went to Hebrew school with on Long Island.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 4:10PM
you would have to be afraid of hand jobs of the mouth to be afraid of ARS.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 4:15PM
I've listened to the clip again and I'm quite sure the transcription is phonetically correct; sounds like bowls. Now whether Joe meant they lose their bowls (certainly Jimmy C. would know about this) or whether he meant their "bowels" and he simply lapsed into his panhandle patois is something only he can say.
Posted by trojan , Nov 19, 2009 4:24PM
scarborough is the new killing it.
literally, he killed an intern. look it up.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 4:27PM
what you can "infer" is that sorkin can lick my scrot.
-LB
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 19, 2009 4:36PM
Must be nice to ride on the success of one's family members, all the while perpetuating the image of the young-ish NYC jewish male as a whiney, effeminate manbitch.
Thanks for nothing ARS.
--NYC Jews who don't look/act like complete p*ssies
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 4:48PM
@37 http://www.larryflynt.com/notebook.php?id=17
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 5:25PM
Say it ain't so, Joe.
Posted by JT , Nov 19, 2009 5:50PM
@4 you nailed it.
At least The Sellout is readable with good narrative. Never realized Chaz could write like that.
WTF were Sorkin's book editors thinking when they printed his whinny (some times made up) sentences.
Posted by Vickle , Nov 19, 2009 5:57PM
So I guess I'm the only one, then?
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 6:14PM
@37/40. Omigosh. I just shat my pants reading that article.
Posted by Joe Mac , Nov 19, 2009 6:33PM
Too-Shitty, didn't listen.
Posted by guest , Nov 19, 2009 9:59PM
Back in the day I soiled my pants at an ARS (Atlanta Rhythm Section) concert but I was only 2 and my parents were dirty smelly hippies.