In the New York magazine profile earlier this month, Andrew Ross Sorkin said that one of the ways he’s able to land big sources is by not being “adversarial or coming to the table with an ax to grind.” The piece also claimed that many of ARS’s colleagues at the Times think it has to do with the fact that he’s too buddy-buddy with his high-profile pals, and goes way too easy on them in print. Not true, says Joe Scarborough. Not only is it a lie that Sorkin’s reporting process entails calling up CEO’s and asking for their side of the story, scheduling a meeting and suggesting he wait outside while a PR person asks some pre-approved questions, the answers of which are transcribed into a column, but these guys are horrified of ARS. So much so, Scarborough said in a radio show with Sorkin this morning, that just being told Times-boy is on the line causes them to “lose control of their bowels.”
Scarborough also claims that besides literally scaring the shit out of these guys, Sorkin is “so frightening” that they had to come to his book party and “bow down” to him. We didn’t see any head bobbing at the Too Big To Fail soiree but perhaps it went on in a backroom. Anywho, let’s do an informal poll: do Jamie Dimon, John Mack, Ken Griffin, Billy Ackman et al soil themselves at the sound of the letters “A-R-S?” And what are we to infer from the fact that Blankfein was a no show to Sorkin’s big night?
Scarborough: You offended a lot of people with your book, didn’t you?
ARS: Some.
Scarborough: Like a lot of Wall Street types.
ARS: Some were unhappy campers.
Scarborough:They’re scared of you; so they have to come and bow to you at book parties, don’t they?
ARS:I don’t know if they have to bow.
Scarborough: They’re scared of you aren’t they?
ARS: There might be a couple…hopefully not too many…I’m not too scary a guy.
Scarborough: When 60 Minutes used to call people it was the scariest call. Now it’s “Sir, Andrew Ross Sorkin on line three” and they defecate in their pants. They lose control of their bowels.
ARS: Can you say that on the radio?
Scarborough: I just did. And guess what? A lot of Wall Street people listen to us.
ARS: I don’t think I’m that scary.
Scarborough: You’re frightening.
ARS: On certain occasions.
Of course they don’t. They defaecate in CG’s pants. didn’t you get the memo?
That Scarborough guy is no Larry King.
Mack, mack, goose!
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=a.E5_P5uGTq4&pos=3
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The only way I can see a capable executive being “scared” of this pretty-boy lightweight who is completely in love with himself is if said executive is scared that Sorkin will not understand what he is being told and will report incorrectly. His book was very poorly edited (misspellings, double words, double sentences) and written in a staccato, simplistic prose. And there was no blinding insight within his pages (not that I expected anything, it was a reporting of facts, not an analysis). A waste of 8 hours of my life. Should have settled for the Vanity Fair excerpt and been done with it.
@ 4 Charlie I agree.
dat was me at @4. I’ve been practicin da big english.
-cg
See Bess if you took this gig to radio you could use words like “defecate” and “bowls” too. It’s expected nowadays.
@7 um, b/c she doesn’t already?
the only reason a source would be scared of ARS is if they were worried he was gonna use teeth in the course of the BJ.
I lost control-a-my-bowl-a-pasta in da restaurant dis aftanoon, and it crashed to da floor. Da bastid waiter wouldn’t give me a new dish, and so I’m neva goin’ to da Olive Garden again.
-cg
they went to the book party to say thanks for the blow jobs and for the free drinks. no one is cared of sorkin.
The only reason these guys even consider quivering at the letters ARS is because of the whole auction rate security mess. AR Sorkin is a total phony. His grasp on finance is that of a junior college art professor. I’m not even really sure how he manages to get a call back from the likes of a Jefferies intern.
yeah i’m absolutely terrified of sorkin. no just fucking with you I eat pieces of shit like sorkin for breakfast.
-JD
@12 can you leave a comment that makes any sense? thanks
Bork bork bork.
Hopefully they were wearing these: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CefajJzKpKA
wow his voice is fucking annoying
I shit in my source’s mouths.
-cg
I think it’s true that most people on Wall Street dislike/shy away from journalists. But there is no fucking way anyone is afraid of Sorkin. They talk to him because they know it’ll be an easy blow.
“…cause them to lose control of their bowls”
At which point they spill cereal all over their desks?
@12 – No fucking way I’m calling that guy back. He was way too heavy on the teeth and he didn’t even look up at me.
– Jeffries Intern
Unless Charlie himself is making these “cg” jokes, they are terrible. Step it up, people.
“Sorkin’s reporting process entails calling up CEO’s and asking for their side of the story, scheduling a meeting and suggesting he wait outside while a PR person asks some pre-approved questions, the answers of which are transcribed into a column”
nailed it.
OK – I’ll bite.
It’s bowEls, people, BOWELS. Not Bowls.
–noun
1. Anatomy.
a. Usually, bowels. the intestine.
b. a part of the intestine.
2. bowels,
a. the inward or interior parts: the bowels of the earth.
b. Archaic. feelings of pity or compassion.
-Captain Obvious
@24 there was no need since the typo was already changed. next time hit refresh before taking the time to write cocksucking comment.
“what are we to infer from the fact that Blankfein was a no show to Sorkin’s big night? ”
that he can suck my g-plated scrot, that’s what.
-LB
If Andrew Ross calls, the mud will fall.
Anonymous Bank CEO
I would liken the correcting of the rare typo in Bess’s work to poking a hungry leopard with a short stick.
24=fag. examine your sexuality.
ARS, LB, and 1 cup?
Bess, you are into some really kinky shit. I like that.
Mark Wahlberg
speaking of shit, dell just shit the bed. black friday tommorrow ???
I never realized how much Sorkin sounds like a Jew from the Bronx (didn’t he get wasp voice lessons growing up in Scarsdale).
Gasparino scares the crap out of Wall Street chiefs all right but don’t you think the rest of the minons are shaking when they get a call from Levin/Buhl or anyone from Dealbreaker?
@33 “jew from the bronx”? try kid I went to Hebrew school with on Long Island.
you would have to be afraid of hand jobs of the mouth to be afraid of ARS.
I’ve listened to the clip again and I’m quite sure the transcription is phonetically correct; sounds like bowls. Now whether Joe meant they lose their bowls (certainly Jimmy C. would know about this) or whether he meant their “bowels” and he simply lapsed into his panhandle patois is something only he can say.
scarborough is the new killing it.
literally, he killed an intern. look it up.
what you can “infer” is that sorkin can lick my scrot.
-LB
Must be nice to ride on the success of one’s family members, all the while perpetuating the image of the young-ish NYC jewish male as a whiney, effeminate manbitch.
Thanks for nothing ARS.
–NYC Jews who don’t look/act like complete p*ssies
@37 http://www.larryflynt.com/notebook.php?id=17
Say it ain’t so, Joe.
@4 you nailed it.
At least The Sellout is readable with good narrative. Never realized Chaz could write like that.
WTF were Sorkin’s book editors thinking when they printed his whinny (some times made up) sentences.
So I guess I’m the only one, then?
@37/40. Omigosh. I just shat my pants reading that article.
Too-Shitty, didn’t listen.
Back in the day I soiled my pants at an ARS (Atlanta Rhythm Section) concert but I was only 2 and my parents were dirty smelly hippies.
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