• 11 Nov 2009 at 4:14 PM

Eliot Spitzer Needs Our Help

Screen shot 2009-11-11 at 4.15.30 PM.pngEliot Spitzer is scheduled to deliver a lecture tomorrow at Harvard. The topic: ethics. Unfortunately, some people would rather the event not come to pass. Namely, Kristin Davis, the hedge fund employee-cum-Madam who personally scheduled a slew of Spitzer’s appointments back in the day. What has she done about it? Written a letter to Harvard protesting the whole thing, that’s what! In her missive, David apparently lists seven reasons why this shit should not go down and says, I think sarcastically, that she is “greatly intrigued as to what Mr. Spitzer could contribute to an ethical discussion.”


We tend to give Ness a hard time around these parts but how about today we do the noted hooker fucker a solid and come up with seven reasons why he should be allowed to opine on his favorite subject (second only to the fascinating topic of pay-to-lay). The first things we can think of are at that he doesn’t take advantage of the help, he didn’t use taxpayer money to fuck those hoes, he admitted his error after it became readily apparent that he was caught, and he never killed any of the girls, that we know of. Also, I don’t think any of them were underage. So we’ve got 4 good ones right there. Now you go.

Comments (29)

  1. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:17 PM

    Fancy screwing and ethics have no relationship to each other. What is her real complaint?

  2. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:24 PM

    At the end of the day, Ashley Dupre was hot and he got in there. Ethics, schmethics.

  3. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:24 PM

    He doesn’t (or at least “can’t”) do housegirls.

  4. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:24 PM

    those ethical lapses never get old…

  5. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:24 PM

    Six talk!! Six talk!! Talkin’ six heeah!! Come git all yer hot invistmint bynker six talk yill evah nade ryte heah.
    Will, theh syne of the Divil is ‘six, six, six’ foah uh rayzon I giss.
    ~A. Drury
    New South Wales
    Austrailiar

  6. Posted by Bess Levin | November 11, 2009 at 4:27 PM

    @3 that’s a good one, forgot about that.

  7. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:29 PM

    those tits never …

  8. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:30 PM

    Upon realizing he had athlete’s foot he insisted on keeping his socks on.
    Very sweet gesture.

  9. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:30 PM

    Harvard is correct to have the Spitzer come talk to them about ethics. If Harvard was going to have a speech given on robbing banks they should get someone like Willie Sutton for that as well.

  10. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:34 PM

    Not any old ethics, ethics for Harvard. See the difference?

  11. Posted by STM | November 11, 2009 at 4:35 PM

    #9 has it. If you want the most efficient solution, find the laziest person you can to do the job. If you want to know how to watch for ethics violations, find the best violator of ethics you can to teach you.

  12. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:37 PM

    Hmm…No ring.

  13. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:37 PM

    Those brists look ah a little too tin from theh sun to may. But I bit shays got gryte tinlines.
    ~May agin
    Downundah.

  14. Posted by Anal_yst | November 11, 2009 at 4:44 PM

    He didn’t try to use offshore or otherwise really “mask” the funds used for his alleged “solicitation,” that’s gotta count for something.

  15. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:45 PM

    Bess admit it you like looking at Ashley Dupre’s tits as much as us guys

  16. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:45 PM

    Sptizer-swallow should be allowed to opine because before he allowed Ashley to toss his salad he required that she take the Harvard MBA oath.
    Most pointedly he focused on the fifth tenant:
    “I will take responsibility for my actions, and I will represent the performance and risks of my enterprise accurately and honestly.”
    She represented her performance accurately. Then he came on her face.

  17. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:54 PM

    He said “I am a f’n steamroller” while threatening another pol. Clearly shows respect to the other side as he did not use “fly swatter” or “toilet paper.”
    He accepted settlement offers from anybody thus helping them out, instead of going to court and throwing these potentially innocent men in jail.
    Used hotel rooms in his escapades, thus preserving the integrity of the master bedroom that he shares only with his beloved wife.

  18. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 4:55 PM

    Because Harvard deserves him.

  19. Posted by I am a Dude | November 11, 2009 at 5:35 PM

    He’s perfect for Harvard. exactly what they need and deserve.

  20. Posted by HeadlessHorseman | November 11, 2009 at 6:02 PM

    …David apparently lists seven reasons…
    Difficult thought it may be to concentrate when Dupre’s tits are involved, I’m pretty sure it’s “Davis”. Moreover, the link doesn’t reveal the seven reasons as one would’ve thought given the chosen text.
    Carry on,
    HH

  21. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 6:31 PM

    Cause’ the nessness sees no ethics problems in fucking hookers. That’s why!

  22. Posted by Thurston Howell III | November 11, 2009 at 7:03 PM

    The stuffy old broad is “greatly intrigued by what Mr. Spitzer could contribute…yada yada yada”???
    A triple-roper to the face to start. Dumbass.

  23. Posted by guest | November 11, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    Those tits are getting old

  24. Posted by guest | November 12, 2009 at 7:02 AM

    who cares those tits are fucking awesome…
    spitzer who?

  25. Posted by guest | November 12, 2009 at 9:08 AM

    @23 stfu
    Bess,
    I would encourage you to run Ashley’s mamories at least once a week (with or without commentary). Also feel free to post a quarterly/monthly/daily recap of all the hotties.
    XOXO

  26. Posted by guest | November 12, 2009 at 9:08 AM

    Nessy could say a thing or two about compartmentalization. He could give pointers on parsing the rules to suit a desired outcome that happily coincides with some supposed utilitarian good.
    He could demonstrate exactly how the selfish behavior of individuals becomes wise and ethical in aggregate.
    He could speak to the transactional nature of human relationships.
    He could share his thoughts on gender and ethics, considering whether a scheme of largely constructed by men, and descriptive of their relations with each other within the patriarchy, really has any application to women.
    He could address the conflict between our obligations to family and our obligations to the larger society.
    Likewise he could give us his view on the existential tension between intimacy and individuality.
    He could underscore aesthetics, that it is insufficient (and unnecessary?) to behave ethically: one must appear to behave ethically.

  27. Posted by guest | November 12, 2009 at 10:15 AM

    titties!!!

  28. Posted by guest | November 12, 2009 at 12:40 PM

    boink boink

  29. Posted by guest | November 12, 2009 at 1:44 PM

    just another reason ivy leaguers are tools…

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