Given that the bank is flush with cash and doesn’t much care what the public thinks of them (except when it comes to kittens), this obviously has nothing to do with fear of populist outcry or certain pissant Rolling Stone writers with vivid imaginations. Rather, this is coming from the top, as in The Big Man. Now that it’s out in the open re: who Lloyd Blankfein and Co. work for, there’s no need to tip-toe around why Christmas is the first to go. For anyone considering funding an event with colleagues, as previously mentioned, you can forget that, they’re also not happening (think this is a joke? Lloyd and his secret police force— the GSS— will be checking every employee’s house for trees and egg nog). For the Masters of the Universe upset about missing out on a company-funded opportunity to spend extra time with people you despise over booze, do not fear. A gala Purim party is being planned for next year.
Goldman Sachs Says No To Christmas Party [IN]
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:38AM
Blankfein and Beelzebub both start with a B.
Coincidence? I think not.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:39AM
I have it on good authority that they will be reviving their "Adopt An Upper Middle Class Family" program again this year as one of their annual charity efforts.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:45AM
the GSS? wow.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:45AM
Jews don't celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ so why is this a suprise?
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:47AM
Channukah parties, however, will be kickin' this year. Manishevitz shots for all!
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:48AM
@4 pretty sure that was the pt of this post.
Posted by Tax Chick , Nov 13, 2009 10:49AM
@4 - they do if they are Messianic Jews.
Posted by Perkins Maxwell , Nov 13, 2009 10:51AM
I hear Chazzy G will be playing Esther in the Purim play.
Posted by Andy , Nov 13, 2009 10:51AM
Is this meant to be as flagrantly anti-semitic as it reads?
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:51AM
speak for yourself.
-jew for jesus
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:52AM
@7 They don't count
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:52AM
Jews killed Santa Claus
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:53AM
Let's face it, the kids aren't exactly dressing up as The Scorcher for Purim anymore.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:54AM
@9 yes, bess levin is such an anti-semite.
Posted by pfluger , Nov 13, 2009 10:56AM
It has come to our attention that Goldman will also be cancelling Easter, Holy Thursday, and Good Friday and any other gentile observances. LB was quoted as saying, "fuck the goyem."
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:57AM
Not going to celebrate Christmas?!?
I knew Government Sachs hated America.
- Angry Pitchfork-Carrying Rabble Member
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:57AM
Why is there always so much Jew on Jew violence?
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:58AM
@9 Only in your disturbed, paranoid mind.
Posted by merkin capital partners , Nov 13, 2009 10:59AM
Just how big can their claws get?
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 10:59AM
There's really no need for a Christmas party on one stupid day a year when you work so closely with God on a daily basis.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:01AM
I got no fuckin problem with this.
-Rahm Emmanuel
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:04AM
@20 that's not our god
-LB
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:04AM
@20 Well said. Well said.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:04AM
We're more popular than Jesus now--I don't know which will go first, banking or Christianity.
-LB
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 13, 2009 11:05AM
Cipriani Wall Street, 1st Annual Dealbreaker Hanukah party, be there!
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:07AM
Im going long on Chinese food. Lots of extra egg rolls ala GS due lack of C-Party. lol
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:08AM
Goldman bless us, every one!
-Tiny Tim Geithner
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:08AM
Bess is Jewish.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:09AM
@26 you just lol'ed your own comment. show yourself out.
Posted by don , Nov 13, 2009 11:12AM
@20 you nailed it
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:12AM
#15 - however, they will be observing a new national holiday - "ASPCA Day."
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 13, 2009 11:14AM
@29 agreed and it should have been an ROR not an LOL
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:15AM
I am planning on making sweet sweet love on the 25 of Decemeber to a little Jewish princess I know from college.
Posted by pfluger , Nov 13, 2009 11:18AM
To: All male employees
From: Goldman Sacks, HR
As you know, earlier in the year we obtained swine flu vaccines for the benefit of all our associates. As part of our continuing commitment to the health and welfare of our associates (our most important asset), we are now requiring all male employees who have not yet done so to undergo a circumcision before the end of 2009.
We are requiring all managers to physically verify that the procedure has been completed prior to receiving any year-end bonus.
Your managers will be availbable to discuss any concerns affected employees may have.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:20AM
@33-
Did you book the room at the inn?
-Mary
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:21AM
Goldman Sachs will be hosting a book burning bash later this month. Feel free to bring kittens as well.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:22AM
@35 - wrong end of the gestation cycle, methinks.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:26AM
probably just trying to duck the annual lawsuits from admins who got drunk and had boinked an MD on top of the copy machine...
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:26AM
Idiot@35- Our son will be born on that day, not conceived, and you told me you were impregnated "immaculately." You really are the whore I thought you were.
-Joseph
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Nov 13, 2009 11:29AM
@13...you muh-muh-muh-maek me happae!!
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:30AM
HUMBUG!!!!!!!
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:31AM
@28 FTW
@1 Lloyd and Lucifer also each start with an L. QED.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:34AM
@gherkin tsk, tsk.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:42AM
Alas but I fear if there is no party, the talent will go elsewhere.
- kfein
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:44AM
@39, have fun in Hell, dick
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:48AM
45=Papist. examine your motives.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 11:55AM
I love Jews with really big wankers.
MB
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 13, 2009 12:04PM
Seriously though, DB should have a holiday party, nothing bad could come of that, at all.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:05PM
MENORAHCLOPS is pleased.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:15PM
Assuming Lloyd is Scrooge, who would be the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future? I guess the Gorilla would be a strong candidate for Christmas Past. I do like Geithner as Tiny Tim.
Posted by Indie fan , Nov 13, 2009 12:16PM
When anti-semitism goes mainstream and is tolerated, you know it ain't that hip anymore.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:20PM
Tags FTW
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:21PM
@50, Ghost of Christmas Present=High Frequency Trading Computer
~ZH
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:27PM
@52 +1
"Lloyd I thought I made my feelings about him clear enough when I had the Romans crucify him, parties "
Bess, Genius.
Posted by pfluger , Nov 13, 2009 12:28PM
@50:
Roubini, DF, CG
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:32PM
Yes, Lloyd in full frontal fishnet as Pilate in the off Broadway revival of Jesus Christ Superstar.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:36PM
I remember back in the day in the JAron division when LB would dress up like Santa for our kids. We didnt make as much money back then but we got to keep our souls......
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 12:54PM
@57 eat a dick.
-LB
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 1:00PM
TGFD has capitulated; I’ve finally given in to the pressure, and so…
I Pledge Allegiance to Goldman Sachs
And to the Derivatives Market of America
To the Greed and Corruption for which they stand,
One Union, under Lloyd, Incomprehensible,
With Profits and Bonus for Them.
There. I’ve done it. TGFD feels much better now. Thank you.
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. Just kidding.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 1:03PM
The Festivus celebration is still on at Goldman. Great tags, Bess.
George Costanza
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 2:21PM
Long as I can play with my dradle, I'm good for holidays.
@27 = best post in this thread so far.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 3:01PM
Ghost of Christmas Past: Auditioning for the role are Jon Corzine and Hank Paulson
Ghost of Christmas Present: Probably a shared role for Tim Geithner and Larry Summers
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 3:33PM
If my traders were pulling down $100 million on average a day I'd cancel Christmas and those Goddamn Saturdays and Sundays too. Now get back to work.
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 13, 2009 5:15PM
@61
Learn how to use google/spellcheck, the english transliteration is dreidel.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 5:58PM
Bess - the tags on this post are unusually creative. Even for you.
Posted by guest , Nov 13, 2009 6:02PM
@66 "Even for you."...are you crazy?
Posted by guest , Nov 14, 2009 12:45AM
GOLDMAN GRINCH
(You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch)
WilliamBanzai7
You're a mean bank, Goldman Grinch.
You really add a new dimension to the words "filch and steal".
You're as cuddly as a subprime cactus,
You're as slippery as Bernie the ponzi eel.
Goldman Grinch.
You're a rotten bunch of overpaid Wall Street bananas
And you're apparently just "too big to fail".
You're a monster, Goldman Grinch.
Your heart's a gelt blackhole as big as AIG.
Your brain is full of "ferkakdeh" derivative spiders,
You've got TARP garlic in your "fershtinkiner" souls.
Goldman Grinch.
I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot bailout pole.
You're a vile one, Goldman Grinch.
You have ponzi termites in your trading style.
You have all the tender sincerity of a typical "filching" Wall Street "shnorrer", Goldman Grinch,
Given a choice of liking you, I'd sooner drink bottled Hudson River water!
You're a foul bank, Goldman Grinch.
You're a nest of stinky, swindling pinstriped skunks.
Your underwriting book is full of unwashed schlock
Your soul is full of subprime gunk.
Goldman Grinch.
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
"Schlemiel, Schtup, Shtunk"!
You're a rotter, Goldman Grinch.
You're the kings of Wall Street scheming "dreck",
Your heart's a rotten "gefilte" repo splotched with moldy bailout spots, Goldman Grinch,
Your trading book is an appalling dung heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of quantitative "chazere" rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled "kishka" knots!
You nauseate me, Goldman Grinch,
You're a nest of nauseous Wall Street "momzers!",
You're a bunch of crooked trading "schlocksters" and you run a vile "shandhoiz", Goldman Grinch,
You're a triple decker synthetic CDO toadstool sandwich with arsenic Wall Street bailout sauce!