Given that the bank is flush with cash and doesn’t much care what the public thinks of them (except when it comes to kittens), this obviously has nothing to do with fear of populist outcry or certain pissant Rolling Stone writers with vivid imaginations. Rather, this is coming from the top, as in The Big Man. Now that it’s out in the open re: who Lloyd Blankfein and Co. work for, there’s no need to tip-toe around why Christmas is the first to go. For anyone considering funding an event with colleagues, as previously mentioned, you can forget that, they’re also not happening (think this is a joke? Lloyd and his secret police force– the GSS– will be checking every employee’s house for trees and egg nog). For the Masters of the Universe upset about missing out on a company-funded opportunity to spend extra time with people you despise over booze, do not fear. A gala Purim party is being planned for next year.
Goldman Sachs Says No To Christmas Party [IN]
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Blankfein and Beelzebub both start with a B.
Coincidence? I think not.
I have it on good authority that they will be reviving their “Adopt An Upper Middle Class Family” program again this year as one of their annual charity efforts.
the GSS? wow.
Jews don’t celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ so why is this a suprise?
Channukah parties, however, will be kickin’ this year. Manishevitz shots for all!
@4 pretty sure that was the pt of this post.
@4 – they do if they are Messianic Jews.
I hear Chazzy G will be playing Esther in the Purim play.
Is this meant to be as flagrantly anti-semitic as it reads?
speak for yourself.
-jew for jesus
@7 They don’t count
Jews killed Santa Claus
Let’s face it, the kids aren’t exactly dressing up as The Scorcher for Purim anymore.
@9 yes, bess levin is such an anti-semite.
It has come to our attention that Goldman will also be cancelling Easter, Holy Thursday, and Good Friday and any other gentile observances. LB was quoted as saying, “fuck the goyem.”
Not going to celebrate Christmas?!?
I knew Government Sachs hated America.
- Angry Pitchfork-Carrying Rabble Member
Why is there always so much Jew on Jew violence?
@9 Only in your disturbed, paranoid mind.
Just how big can their claws get?
There’s really no need for a Christmas party on one stupid day a year when you work so closely with God on a daily basis.
I got no fuckin problem with this.
-Rahm Emmanuel
@20 that’s not our god
-LB
@20 Well said. Well said.
We’re more popular than Jesus now–I don’t know which will go first, banking or Christianity.
-LB
Cipriani Wall Street, 1st Annual Dealbreaker Hanukah party, be there!
Im going long on Chinese food. Lots of extra egg rolls ala GS due lack of C-Party. lol
Goldman bless us, every one!
-Tiny Tim Geithner
@26 you just lol’ed your own comment. show yourself out.
@20 you nailed it
#15 – however, they will be observing a new national holiday – “ASPCA Day.”
@29 agreed and it should have been an ROR not an LOL
I am planning on making sweet sweet love on the 25 of Decemeber to a little Jewish princess I know from college.
To: All male employees
From: Goldman Sacks, HR
As you know, earlier in the year we obtained swine flu vaccines for the benefit of all our associates. As part of our continuing commitment to the health and welfare of our associates (our most important asset), we are now requiring all male employees who have not yet done so to undergo a circumcision before the end of 2009.
We are requiring all managers to physically verify that the procedure has been completed prior to receiving any year-end bonus.
Your managers will be availbable to discuss any concerns affected employees may have.
@33-
Did you book the room at the inn?
-Mary
Goldman Sachs will be hosting a book burning bash later this month. Feel free to bring kittens as well.
@35 – wrong end of the gestation cycle, methinks.
probably just trying to duck the annual lawsuits from admins who got drunk and had boinked an MD on top of the copy machine…
Idiot@35- Our son will be born on that day, not conceived, and you told me you were impregnated “immaculately.” You really are the whore I thought you were.
-Joseph
@13…you muh-muh-muh-maek me happae!!
HUMBUG!!!!!!!
@28 FTW
@1 Lloyd and Lucifer also each start with an L. QED.
@gherkin tsk, tsk.
Alas but I fear if there is no party, the talent will go elsewhere.
- kfein
@39, have fun in Hell, dick
45=Papist. examine your motives.
I love Jews with really big wankers.
MB
Seriously though, DB should have a holiday party, nothing bad could come of that, at all.
MENORAHCLOPS is pleased.
Assuming Lloyd is Scrooge, who would be the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future? I guess the Gorilla would be a strong candidate for Christmas Past. I do like Geithner as Tiny Tim.
When anti-semitism goes mainstream and is tolerated, you know it ain’t that hip anymore.
Tags FTW
@50, Ghost of Christmas Present=High Frequency Trading Computer
~ZH
@52 +1
“Lloyd I thought I made my feelings about him clear enough when I had the Romans crucify him, parties ”
Bess, Genius.
@50:
Roubini, DF, CG
Yes, Lloyd in full frontal fishnet as Pilate in the off Broadway revival of Jesus Christ Superstar.
I remember back in the day in the JAron division when LB would dress up like Santa for our kids. We didnt make as much money back then but we got to keep our souls……
@57 eat a dick.
-LB
TGFD has capitulated; I’ve finally given in to the pressure, and so…
I Pledge Allegiance to Goldman Sachs
And to the Derivatives Market of America
To the Greed and Corruption for which they stand,
One Union, under Lloyd, Incomprehensible,
With Profits and Bonus for Them.
There. I’ve done it. TGFD feels much better now. Thank you.
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. Just kidding.
The Festivus celebration is still on at Goldman. Great tags, Bess.
George Costanza
Long as I can play with my dradle, I’m good for holidays.
@27 = best post in this thread so far.
Ghost of Christmas Past: Auditioning for the role are Jon Corzine and Hank Paulson
Ghost of Christmas Present: Probably a shared role for Tim Geithner and Larry Summers
If my traders were pulling down $100 million on average a day I’d cancel Christmas and those Goddamn Saturdays and Sundays too. Now get back to work.
@61
Learn how to use google/spellcheck, the english transliteration is dreidel.
Bess – the tags on this post are unusually creative. Even for you.
@66 “Even for you.”…are you crazy?
GOLDMAN GRINCH
(You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch)
WilliamBanzai7
You’re a mean bank, Goldman Grinch.
You really add a new dimension to the words “filch and steal”.
You’re as cuddly as a subprime cactus,
You’re as slippery as Bernie the ponzi eel.
Goldman Grinch.
You’re a rotten bunch of overpaid Wall Street bananas
And you’re apparently just “too big to fail”.
You’re a monster, Goldman Grinch.
Your heart’s a gelt blackhole as big as AIG.
Your brain is full of “ferkakdeh” derivative spiders,
You’ve got TARP garlic in your “fershtinkiner” souls.
Goldman Grinch.
I wouldn’t touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot bailout pole.
You’re a vile one, Goldman Grinch.
You have ponzi termites in your trading style.
You have all the tender sincerity of a typical “filching” Wall Street “shnorrer”, Goldman Grinch,
Given a choice of liking you, I’d sooner drink bottled Hudson River water!
You’re a foul bank, Goldman Grinch.
You’re a nest of stinky, swindling pinstriped skunks.
Your underwriting book is full of unwashed schlock
Your soul is full of subprime gunk.
Goldman Grinch.
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote,
“Schlemiel, Schtup, Shtunk”!
You’re a rotter, Goldman Grinch.
You’re the kings of Wall Street scheming “dreck”,
Your heart’s a rotten “gefilte” repo splotched with moldy bailout spots, Goldman Grinch,
Your trading book is an appalling dung heap overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of quantitative “chazere” rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled “kishka” knots!
You nauseate me, Goldman Grinch,
You’re a nest of nauseous Wall Street “momzers!”,
You’re a bunch of crooked trading “schlocksters” and you run a vile “shandhoiz”, Goldman Grinch,
You’re a triple decker synthetic CDO toadstool sandwich with arsenic Wall Street bailout sauce!