Once again, Mark Lowe, the Nomos Capital founder being sued by IR Jordan Wimmer for, among other things, trying to kill her (several times), hiring hookers to work as investor relations girls, forcing Wimmer to be present while he received lap dances, having an Asian fetish, and making dumb blonde jokes, has once again been forced to defend his sense of humor. Last week it was over something he said about putting your girlfriend in the trunk of your car (he was just JK’ing! What’s the big deal? He’s never actually done that, yet). Today it’s over counseling a young job seeker to keep her enemies close, by allegedly saying that in his business dealings, he threatens to “face-fuck” and do something else that begins with a ‘b’ to people. Because he’s not just a comedian but also an Oxonian, Lowe put the advice in Latin. Unfortunately, he claims something was lost in translation and while, yeah, he did basically say his go-to tactic is to throw non-consensual sex in the direction of his business rivals, it was a “lighthearted joke” and not one worth getting anyone’s panties in a bunch over.
Mark Lowe admitted that the phrase was “not very polite” but denied that it was “highly inappropriate” and “sexually explicit material”. He used the words in response to an email from Ariane Gordji, who was doing work experience at his firm Nomos Capital, in which she included a Latin passage from St Paul which talks about “love your enemies”.
Mr Lowe, 59, who lives in Switzerland and has a reported wealth of 100million pounds, replied with the phrase “irrumabo vos et pedicabo vos” from the poet Catullus. He disputes the translation offered to the tribunal sourced from Wikipedia of “I will face-f*** you and b***** you”.
He claims instead that it meant that he would “screw and b*****” those who criticised him. He said: “It is burlesque, it was always light-hearted in the first century and it still is now. It’s a more robust and more pagan response to love your enemies which is what St Paul says but I say screw and b***** you.”
So, really, it’s just a matter of your shitty translation, peasants. Also, can someone tell me what word “b****” is supposed to be? I pride myself on usually being able to get these things but I seriously have no idea. Threatening to “blow” someone isn’t much of a threat, so that’s out. It goes without saying that I’m going to be really miffed if it’s something obvious.
bugger
Butt rape.
Next.
B***** is an abbreviation for Blumpkin.
b***** = bugger
The answer is blanus
He likes the people he face fucks to have sparkling tootholes.
Bank of America
It’s gotta be buttfuck.
bludgeon?
biff basness
The entire Catullus 16 poem translated (the first line is the one sent in the email):
I’m gonna fuck you scrubs up the ass and shove my cock down your throats,
yes, you, Aurelius–you fucking cocksucker–and you too, Furius, you faggot!
Just because my verses are tender doesn’t mean
that I’ve gone all soft. Sure, a poet should focus
on writing poetry and not on sex; but does that
mean they can’t write about sex? If a poem is
in good taste, well-written and erotic,
it can give massive boners to hairy old men,
not just to horny teenagers. You think I’m a sissy
just because I write about thousands of kisses?
I’m gonna fuck you scrubs up the ass and shove my cock down your throats!
@6 FTW!
It is bugger, which, over in the UK is equivalent to sodomy or to copulate anally.
Romanes Eunt Domus!
If face-fucking (trannies) is wrong I don’t want to be right!
-SC
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catullus_16
here’s the translation. Oy ve!
Brian @13 -
What’s this, then? “Romanes eunt domus”? People called Romans, they go, the house?
I prefer the term skull fuck.
-Ping J.
the word is bugger. havent used it since moving to the provinces.
@6 nice!
@6 wins
Was that wrong? Should I have not said that?
Centurion for the win!
I think the plaintiff has made a mistake in introducing this evidence. If you note, there is no suggestion of vaginal penetration. Maybe it’s because Lowe feels this would be a wildly pleasurable experience for his counterpart – this would be the best way to spin it. But nore likely it’s because face-f*cking and b*ggering are the commonly accepted ways one man generally establishes his dominance over another in the boardroom. That being the case, clearly Lowe was not threatenting any woman when he made these comments.
How does one say: “I’ll f*** you till you love me, faggot?” in Latin?
- did not go to grammar school
@22 facefucking and ass-raping are commonly accepted ways a man establishes his dominance over another in the board room? where, the boardroom of the rawhide?
http://www.vroma.org/~hwalker/VRomaCatullus/016x.html
A better translation of Catullus 16 (at least this is the site I remember using back in high school Latin when I couldn’t figure out the translation).
B****** = bitchslap?
…people called Romans they go to the house! FTW
23 FTW (and as a follow-up, how do you say “I’ll eat your asshole, faggot” in Latin?)
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say B—– could be “buttf*ck”.
@22 = dick fuld
Mark Lowe = Mike Tyson
@23, 27, te paedīcābō donec mē amābis! tuum ānum ēdar!
He (Lowe) said: “It is burlesque, it was always light-hearted in the first century and it still is now.”
Ha ha. That’s exactly what I thought back in the day when I had the pirates who kidnapped me, abused me and who held me ransom impaled up the ass while I personally gouged out their eyeballs and had a sack of hungry rats attached to their quivering testicles. I read them Catullus’ poem while I was doing it and in between their bloody sputtering we all had a good laugh.
~Augustus
Emperor of Rome
SPQR
HMFIC
@31, thank you!
I had to google HMFIC (but its approximately the same as Augustus, no?)
It means “bugger” aka anal sex
Bugger needs to be blanked out?
@10 – awesome! Thanks!
Barack Obama
Where do I send my resume?
–Melissa Lee
I nominate Sora Aoi to be the IR person for Handbridge Capital….
@31: examine your datives.