Jordan Wimmer, the ex-Nomos Capital IR girl taking issue with, among other things, her former boss Mark Lowe’s executive decision to hire a (highly qualified) prostitute to work at the firm, his insistence on her being present while he received lap dances, and his dumb blonde jokes, has one more thing to add. He might’ve tried to run her over, several times.
Jordan Wimmer, who earned £577,000 per year, said she believed her boss Mark Lowe 59, the firm’s founder, had hired a Russian hit man or enlisted a family member to attempt to murder her. Miss Wimmer told how she was left fearing for her life after an incident in which a car tried to run her over six times near the King’s Road in Chelsea.
Central London Employment Tribunal heard how Miss Wimmer, who is claiming sexual discrimination and constructive dismissal, told a psychiatrist “they” were trying to “hurt her” after she quit her job. The medical notes read at the tribunal told how Miss Wimmer ran into a restaurant and asked them to call 999 because a man who looked like her boss was trying to run her over after she left a gym in Chelsea in May this year.
The defense’s defense is that Jords has an “overactive imagination” and that if ML were going to kill anyone, it’d most likely a hooker. Let’s get our facts straight.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:42AM
As one does. What's the problem here?
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:42AM
Stuff like this happens at D. E. Shaw all the time. It's no big deal.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:43AM
577,000 GBP? Wow, Thats alot of cock to suck for that kind of money.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:43AM
This happens all the time. It's no big deal
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:44AM
What a load of bollocks. Everyone knows he tried to get rid of her because she is Canadian.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:44AM
IR girls are usually more attractive. Something else must have been going on her for her to be employed by the firm, let alone make that kind of cash.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:49AM
Ahead of today's delicious entrée, you've given us some great appetizers this morning.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Nov 11, 2009 10:50AM
I like that she wears a poppy in her lapel in all the pics. Some sort of heroin chic meaning?
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:50AM
For that kind of money her boss could have been bangin' midgets while smoking meth for all I care. She deserved every dumb blonde joke she got.
Posted by Bess Levin , Nov 11, 2009 10:51AM
@6/all-- we've actually been meaning to do a hottest hedge fund IR list for a while so start listing names/firms here and then I can get working on something more formal. For some reason a few people have tried to convince me that hedge fund HR girls are as good looking so if you'd like to throw some of those names in, too, feel free.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:52AM
jordana upton, SAC.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Nov 11, 2009 10:55AM
Not sure if you include RE funds, but Grove has a cutie named Laurel who is dir of IR.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:56AM
she looks like any ugly amy winehouse.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:57AM
How could you miss someone six times? Toonces could have pulled that off.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 10:59AM
999? try 911- fucking blondes...
Posted by Jo , Nov 11, 2009 10:59AM
Ever tried crossing the King's Rd?
IB wives drivin' chelsea tractors will kill you on a good day.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:00AM
Getting offed by the boss [is the new killing it?]: Another good reason to attend the extreme fisting seminar in Vegas this weekend. I've commissioned a representation of Bess during the Saturday night breakout sessions here: http://i1008.photobucket.com/albums/af204/brauwert/wildwestbess.jpg
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 11, 2009 11:02AM
Whats this chicks qualifications? Did she go to Oxford, masters from LSE? 3-5 years at a top bank? Whats her story, before we jump to (the seemingly obvious) conclusion...
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:02AM
people, please see comment 10 and get to work. i need some new j/o material.
-sc
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:04AM
16- that;s where all the americans live if they don't live in south kens, no?
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:04AM
Turns out "killing it" is really the new "killing it".
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:04AM
@15...UK
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:05AM
@15, they're in London you idiot. Go back to the back office and stop surfing the web... don't you have some confirms to send out?
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:06AM
@19 careful, alex reads these comments.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:06AM
@18 A Slore that gives good head.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:06AM
@15 - stupid joke or are you really that stupid?
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:07AM
@11 upton is smoking hot, even in her pregnant state.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:07AM
Allison Cole, CCMP Capital
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:10AM
Hedge fund must have hired one of their quants to allegedly run her down.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:10AM
@6/All of you:
Without pictures this really never happened.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:11AM
For 15:
London's burning! London's burning!
All across the town, all across the night
Everybody's driving with full headlights
Black or white turn it on, face the new religion
Everybody's sitting 'round watching television!
London's burning with boredom now
London's burning dial 99999
I'm up and down the Westway, in an' out the lights
What a great traffic system - it's so bright
I can't think of a better way to spend the night
Then speeding around underneath the yellow lights
London's burning with boredom now
London's burning dial 99999
Now I'm in the subway and I'm looking for the flat
This one leads to this block, this one leads to that
The wind howls through the empty blocks looking for a home
I run through the empty stone because I'm all alone
London's burning with boredom now...
London's burning dial 99999
Listen to the Clash mate!
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:12AM
@AB/8 The poppy is a symbol of remeberence for the military in Britain.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:13AM
@8: she's wearing a poppy, moron, because it's Remembrance Day (marking the end of WW I) and in the UK poppies = remembrance.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:15AM
-Believe the tag should be using "taken"
-Also questioning use of "hasn't"
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:15AM
@18 - University of Western Ontario, PoliSci, 2001
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:16AM
Yikes. I wouldn't screw this broad w/ Tax Chick's dick.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:19AM
22/23- your sarcasm-o-meters need recalibrating
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:23AM
I im kinstintly amyzed that yew blokes are sich idiots whin it comes to sins of the flish gittin in the wye of bein' prifishonnil in th wirk plyce.
~A. Drury
New South Wales
Austrailiar
Posted by trojan , Nov 11, 2009 11:26AM
i really hope that comma is meant to be one digit to the left
Posted by Becky Boot Fan , Nov 11, 2009 11:27AM
Bigger Bitch Contest: Wimmer vs. Mancision
Duking it out in lingerie...match to be officiated by the hot prostie, Malagina.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:28AM
@trojan. nope. Sorry.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:29AM
@15 Made me laugh.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Nov 11, 2009 11:33AM
@32/33 - How ironic that I didn't remberance the significance.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:37AM
Blonde arrives at a river's edge and sees no way to cross that river. Looking across the river she sees another blonde. She shouts to the other blonde, "Hey!! How do I get to the other side?"
Other blonde shouts, 'You're already there!!!"
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:40AM
They pay their IR girls 577,000 GBP in the UK? I'm working in the wrong country!!
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 11:52AM
There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn't let go and they will both fall to their deaths. The brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself. At the end of the speech the blonde starts clapping.
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 11, 2009 11:54AM
Fuck me I spent lunch doing a news release with Handbridge Capital Partners announcing Marisa Miller as its new Investor Relations Liaison; but it guess it was too big or something and couldnt fucking post.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 12:08PM
@NS send it to Bess for posting
Posted by pfluger , Nov 11, 2009 12:13PM
What does a blonde put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
Her ankles.
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 11, 2009 12:15PM
@48 Let me see if it will let me post in three different parts.
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 11, 2009 12:16PM
Handbridge Capital Partners Welcomes Marisa Miller
NEWS
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Handbridge Announces New Investor Relations Liaison
New York, N.Y. (November 11, 2008) – Handbridge Capital Parnters, a New York based hedge fund, announced they have hired a new Investor Relations Liaison, Marisa Miller. Ms. Miller will be responsible for fulfilling all of our investor's needs.
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 11, 2009 12:16PM
“We are very pleased to have Ms. Miller join our team,” said NakedShort, Handbridge's General Partner. “Marisa brings with her a rock hard body as well a face that is extremely easy on the eyes, which will help Handbridge better serve our clients and help continue to display our industry leading value proposition.”
Prior to her new position, Marisa worked as a lingerie model for Victoria's Secret. As Handbridge's new Investor Relations Liaison, Marisa will be responsible for providing full service demonstrations to not only our staff but our clients as well. Marisa is a graduate of Monte Vista Christian School and has over 7 years of experience wearing little to no clothing and serving as masturbatory material for men and women all over the world.
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 11, 2009 12:18PM
About Handbridge Capital Partners.
Handbridge is a highly leveraged extremely illquid hedge fund founded in 2009. They combine cutting-edge humor as well as crude jokes to distract clients from the fund's sub par investment returns. Handbridge has helped clients realize the full potential of mammary love making through synthetic intervention. Handbridge is headquartered in New York, N.Y. with offices Miami, F.L. and Handbridge, U.K.
Posted by Seaman Bodine II , Nov 11, 2009 12:33PM
@2
That's funny, but back in 98 ish, DESCO had problems with sexual harassment issues, which the NY Times and other local rags loved to cover. They'd talk about the orgies on Friday nights, and I used to tell my friends, uh, if you saw the genetic makeup of the staff, well, you'd pretty much rule that shit out.
Posted by Tax Chick , Nov 11, 2009 12:36PM
@NS - Does it make sense that your IR liaison doesn't require handbridge? Just sayin'
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 12:37PM
What a bimbo.
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 11, 2009 12:43PM
@TC it was meant to be ironical
Posted by Tax Chick , Nov 11, 2009 12:52PM
@NS/57 - My bad! Being too literalonic!
Posted by Nova , Nov 11, 2009 12:53PM
Suck me, beautiful
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 1:13PM
@28 got it.
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 11, 2009 1:39PM
@Naked
I think Marissa, while top-rate in every single regard, may be too conservative for our needs. I was thinking someone more along the lines of Shauna Sand, someone who isn't afraid to go out there and bear it all to help the firm, etc.
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 11, 2009 1:45PM
@Anal I was trying to go with someone we could mold into our vision of the perfect IR staffer. With someone like Sand shes so crazy you might finder her blowing interns one day and that is NOT appropriate.
Posted by Wimmer Weirdness , Nov 11, 2009 1:46PM
Something fishy about this Wimmer - she has an undergrad degree from some third-tier-toilet of a Canadian university, and an MBA from something called the International University of Monaco.(http://www.monaco.edu/)
See this story for her educational background:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/6532873/Millionaire-City-financier-Mark-Lowe-brought-prostitutes-to-business-meetings.html
Comment 6 is right - definitely more going on here.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 1:56PM
63 the only thing fishy about Wimmer is that she didn't douche after the gang bang. That's what happens when you pull a 30 man train - afterwards your cunt smells like the hull of a shrimp boat.
Maria Bartiromo
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 2:01PM
dunno bout you guys, but i'd smash it!
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 2:01PM
@21 well-played sir
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 2:40PM
@37, psssh sarcasm detector, yeah that's a really useful device
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 2:40PM
31- I'm really more of a 101ers fan myself ;D
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 2:46PM
Kiss and fell?
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 2:53PM
@54/SBII I wasn't referring to the gropefests but rather the use of special-purpose vehicles to simplify complex problems.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 2:55PM
@NS - I fully support your hiring of Marissa, but wouldn't it make more sense to hire someone who actually would need to use the HB? I'm thinking Miranda Kerr.
Posted by trojan , Nov 11, 2009 3:03PM
@NS
Olivia Wilde meets all necessary qualifications for employment at HandCap.
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 11, 2009 3:12PM
@71, 72 My first choice was Natalie Portman; but wasn't sure how the peanut gallery would respond to a non model.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 3:13PM
so regal in that pic...
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 3:30PM
68 and the Mescaleros or B.A.D.?
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 3:31PM
64 FTW
Posted by Anal_yst , Nov 11, 2009 3:43PM
@naked
saw portmal the other day, after never really being *that* into her, but in person, she's definitely HandCap material (nice back end helps).
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 11, 2009 3:50PM
@Anal_ I have always been into Natalie. In high school I stole a life size promotional Pepsi cut out of Padmé Amidala and its been with me ever since. Then she rocked my world with the SNL role model rap skit and almost made my head explode in Closer.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 3:52PM
Do we all recall how Marla Maples met The Donald? She was interviewing wealthy men for a book about same. Oh, what a clever girl she was! Didn't she happily sign a $2 million pre-nup or somesuch?
Nowadays I guess we'd go to the University of Monaco.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 3:56PM
@naked
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 3:56PM
@naked
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 3:56PM
@naked
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 3:56PM
@naked
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 3:56PM
@naked
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 3:58PM
anybody else notice she always has her neck covered in all the pictures?
hickeys?
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 3:58PM
@naked portman would be perfect fit. She's even got the Ivy creds to suck in endowments.
Posted by NakedShort , Nov 11, 2009 4:00PM
@86 I see what you did there at the end.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 4:16PM
@85,
Hickeys? Are you Ralph Malph or Potisie Weber?
Sorry, you're quite obviously Chachi.
Posted by guest , Nov 11, 2009 8:38PM
Aren't you glad I'm not blonde?
Erin Burnett
Posted by guest , Nov 15, 2009 1:50PM
The IR person for Handbridge Capital should be Honey Dejour.
Posted by guest , Nov 15, 2009 1:51PM
The IR person for Handbridge Capital should be Honey Dejour.
Posted by guest , Nov 17, 2009 12:35PM
I can't believe you people on here are so insensitive. The girl was fricking harassed & abused! Regardless of her background, what she was paid etc. Lowe was obviously horrible to her - why else would she end up with depression and in a clinic!
Secondly, these msgs prove that men in finance do actually think women are second class citizens and its ACCEPTABLE behind the scenes to have treat women like objects.
You heartless b*stards. Why don't you go and set up a Mark Lowe fanclub?
Ken Grif