Jordan-Wimmer415.jpgMark Lowe, the Nomos Capital founder accused by former employee Jordan Wimmer of, among other things, trying to kill her (several times), hiring hookers to work as investor relations girls, forcing Wimmer to be present while he received lap dances, having an Asian fetish, and making dumb blonde jokes took the stand today to tell his side of the story. First off, he says the prosties he took on business trips were his girlfriends. Regarding his preference for the Asian persuasion (don’t worry about how this is relevant), Lowe responded that he prefers “women to wear less and show more flesh.” And as for the jokes? Mark said that he didn’t come up with them but merely passed them on and while we’re on the subject? As an arbiter of comedy he wouldn’t necessarily give the j’s super high marks, but thought they were definitely pretty decent. Also, he’s never put one his lady-friends in the trunk of a car, though now that you’ve put the idea in his head it’s definitely under consideration.

A selection of the emails Mr Lowe sent to Miss Wimmer and other women staff were read to Central London Employment Tribunal. One email from May 7, 2008, titled ‘Who is your real friend?’ read: ‘Put your dog and your girlfriend in the boot of your car for an hour and then see who is happy to see you.’ When asked by Alisdair Simpson, for Miss Wimmer, if he thought the joke was demeaning to women, Mr Lowe disagreed and said he thought it was ‘funny, but not especially’. Mr Simpson replied: ‘You don’t think putting your girlfriend in the boot of your car is demeaning?’ Mr Lowe said he had never put a girlfriend in the boot of a car, adding the joke was ‘not especially demeaning’. Lowe [also] said: ‘I thought they were funny. They weren’t brilliantly funny, but they amused me.’

Furthmore, does he not get credit for demonstrating enormous restraint here?

“These are very mild by comparison to some of the jokes I receive from business associates that I don’t forward.”

£100m hedge fund boss made ‘sexist, dumb blonde’ jokes in daily work emails [Daily Mail]
Hedge Fund Manager Mark Lowe Denies He Hired Escorts, Hit Man [Bloomberg]

Comments (69)

  1. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:04 PM

    Lose the floppy Palin collars

  2. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:04 PM

    would not hit it.

  3. Posted by CoveredLong | November 17, 2009 at 1:07 PM

    I too have seen that joke and agree with this evaluation:
    ‘I thought they were funny. They weren’t brilliantly funny, but they amused me.’
    No I don’t think the joke is demeaning to women, however I do think it’s demeaning that he doesn’t think it’s demeaning, so there’s that.

  4. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:10 PM

    palin is a dumb-shit
    She keeps saying shit like: “truthishly I think”
    Sounds like a Family Guy episode.
    Some babe-reporter is going to nuke her again….

  5. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:11 PM

    CAN HE TELL US THE JOKES HE DIDN’T FORWARD?

  6. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:11 PM

    never put a woman in the trunk of a car? who is dis chump?
    -cg

  7. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:12 PM

    @4 palin is dumb?!?!
    -forehead slapper

  8. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:13 PM

    Mark,
    I’m still waiting for a callback for the open IR position. Call me?
    –Melissa Lee

  9. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:14 PM

    so many hotter IR girls than this bitch.

  10. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:16 PM

    @9 throw some names out. I need new JO material.

  11. Posted by CoveredLong | November 17, 2009 at 1:19 PM

    #2 = Mark Lowe’s car.

  12. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:21 PM

    @11 not for lack of trying!
    -ML’s ride

  13. Posted by fresno dan | November 17, 2009 at 1:21 PM

    “…hiring hookers to work as investor relations girls, forcing Wimmer to be present while he received lap dances, having an Asian fetish, and making dumb blonde jokes…”
    You say that, as if it were bad.

  14. Posted by Effective Date | November 17, 2009 at 1:22 PM

    she kinda looks like anna farris in the pic

  15. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:23 PM

    @13 no, Jordan did

  16. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:23 PM

    I would love to be this man’s love slave.
    -ping j

  17. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:26 PM

    She looks so constipated in that picture.

  18. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:27 PM

    @14 she looks like toni collette in another picture

  19. Posted by CoveredLong | November 17, 2009 at 1:27 PM

    @12 – Seriously, she must be really good at Frogger.
    -ML

  20. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    when she sits down, I bet she leaves a high watermark.

  21. Posted by pfluger | November 17, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    I think she looks like Paris Hilton.

  22. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:30 PM

    I still want to know how she made over half a million pounds a year.

  23. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:30 PM

    P.S. Your c#nt is in the sink.
    M. Funkhauser

  24. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:30 PM

    @10=hilarious

  25. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    I swear that I saw this girl on Freeones…

  26. Posted by ML | November 17, 2009 at 1:33 PM

    I second 10. Let’s get a list of the hottest IR girls b/c this one is giving them a bad name, and I have an opening

  27. Posted by Anal_yst | November 17, 2009 at 1:36 PM

    @13
    Wait, there’s funds that DON’T hire hookers for IR positions?

  28. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:45 PM

    Looks like a discount Anna Ferris

  29. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:46 PM

    @28 only in this pic

  30. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    What do you get when a naked blonde stands on her head? A brunette with bad breath.

  31. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:54 PM

    i was going to say @20 FTW until I saw @30….

  32. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 1:58 PM

    How could she possibly think the joke was demeaning when, clearly, it is far too nuanced for her to understand? As a juror, I would disqualify this attempt at evidence.

  33. Posted by Perkins Maxwell | November 17, 2009 at 2:03 PM

    Bess LOVES dumb blonde jokes. For an obvious reason.

  34. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:07 PM

    @33 what the hell are you talking about? pretty sure she’s never made one on db.

  35. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:07 PM

    @30 uh, gross.

  36. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:11 PM

    14/18/28:
    Anna Faris meets Tonya Harding.

  37. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:12 PM

    Allow me to rule in this matter. Sexually oriented jokes or jokes about the sexes require exceptional knowledge of one’s audience to reduce the risk of credibility and career damaging litigation.
    For example, if Mr. Lowe accidentaly got his expensive suited “package” stuck in an elevator door while Ms. Wimmer was present, that would be hilariously funny and Ms. Wimmer would have recounted the story to staff and friends time and time again. No harm or foul there. Also, suppose Mr. Lowe got chalk powder on the front of his pants and was furiously trying to beat off the powder when Ms. Wimmer chanced upon him? Again, slapstick in the workplace is incredibly humorous and no harm or foul is noted.
    If Mr. Lowe had confidence issues and put a rolled up sock in the back of his pants as opposed to the front, would Ms. Wimmer be at risk of proposing a demeaning comment if she offered the information on where to correctly place the aforementioned rolled up sock?
    Things could escalate however and such shennanigans must be nipped in the bud. If Mr. Lowe made an untoward or tiring sexist comment, Ms. Wimmer could have said, “I know your name is Mark but may I call you Dick?” which would have alerted Mr. Lowe to a potential problem in the workplace.
    Clearly, the slow witted Mr. Lowe did not know his audience and that the venue for an unknown audience can be a courtroom.
    Sincerely,
    The Joke Briefer

  38. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:13 PM

    Where is Spencer? Am i the only one who thinks she’s a dead-ringer for Heidi Montag/Pratt?

  39. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:16 PM

    Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
    After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others “I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together.”
    The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly “Together!, together!, together!”

  40. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:17 PM

    The IR person for Handbridge Capital should be Honey Dejour, although she evidently would have filled Lowe’s bill quite nicely as well.

  41. Posted by Investorcluzo | November 17, 2009 at 2:17 PM

    funny how? funny like a clown? do I amuse you?

  42. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:18 PM

    Q: Why was the blonde’s belly button sore ?
    A: Because her AIG quant boyfriend was blonde too.

  43. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:18 PM

    I am curious as to her bleached anus situation.
    Greg

  44. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:18 PM

    @39 that was awful. jesus.

  45. Posted by pfluger | November 17, 2009 at 2:22 PM

    Wait a minute Joke Briefer.
    Far be it for me to challenge your expertise on these matters, but…
    He knew damned well that his audience was a hooker.
    Apparently she didn’t think anything of the jokes, until he wanted to put her in the trunk.
    I don’t think it was the jokes that set her off. Apparently she got upset with the threatened murder thing.

  46. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:24 PM

    @45 wimmer’s not a hooker (not technically).

  47. Posted by pfluger | November 17, 2009 at 2:32 PM

    @46, you’re right of course.
    But it doesn’t change the point. He knew his audience, a receptionist who apparently had no problem with the hookers or dumb blonde jokes until that unfortunate moment when the guy allegedly threatened to put her into the boot.

  48. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:34 PM

    Mark Lowe: Never push a good thing too far.
    ~The Ghost of David Carradine

  49. Posted by CoveredLong | November 17, 2009 at 2:34 PM

    Wimmer…more like LOSER!
    @42 – That’s redundant redundant.

  50. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:36 PM

    Did that Lowe guy ever work for Coastal States? That story brings back many old memories.

  51. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:47 PM

    Wasn’t this broad in one of those pills to cure small dick syndrome infomercials?

  52. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    @23 Are you done now? Why are you even here? Go sit in the bleachers.

  53. Posted by oh dear | November 17, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    From TFA: “Mr Wilson [attorney for Ms Wimmer*] said the blonde joke was sent just after Ms Wimmer [complainant] had come out of psychiatric care, where she was treated for depression.”
    *not explicitly stated in Daily Mail article.
    very good indeed. Grade “A” tribunal material, and most are nearly as silly.
    Argument for claimant: “but he LOOKS like a sleazeball”
    Arg for respondant: “stop it now, she’s mad, and being mad is a critical admission central to her claim”
    something like that.
    What is this, we have to write the stories here too?
    http://dilbert.com/fast/2009-11-17/
    see what i mean?

  54. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:53 PM

    I see the blond TV and say, fuck, it IS oscar wilde

  55. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 2:53 PM

    @53 what the hell are you rambling about?

  56. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 3:00 PM

    @55 – Its never a good thing to be pinched on the nose by a lobster while going down on a woman of class.
    see what i mean?

  57. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 3:02 PM

    Do you think there’s still an available position at this firm? BBG me if so.
    – Alicia Wetmore.

  58. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 3:08 PM

    “IT AINT MY FAULT!”
    “Did I do that?”
    “IT AINT MY FAULT!”
    “Did I do that?”

  59. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 3:09 PM

    She looks like the defiant/vulnerable/masochist type. Please, please, beat me, beat me, just don’t kill me, okay, okay, kill me.

  60. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 3:17 PM

    That wasn’t a joke, it was another death threat, like those she experienced walking down King’s Road. Blonde in a trunk. He was implying dead, right? Guilty!

  61. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 3:39 PM

    At last! A guy rappin about blunts and broads, tits and bras, menages-a-trois, sex in expensive cars.

  62. Posted by Eliot S. | November 17, 2009 at 3:52 PM

    @60, there was no death threat. The joke implied that the dog/blonde would be alive when you came to retrieve.
    Joke Briefer, she IS a hooker and realized that with so many unemployed young women in the City area, she was bound to be sent packing. Thus the lawsuit. Trust me, I know hookers.
    @4, babe-reporter? Is Katie Couric (slavic for cunt) reading the DB now?

  63. Posted by volatilitysmile | November 17, 2009 at 4:26 PM

    wow, just the uplifting story we all need before the 70% off sale season statrs.
    Off the record, I could get used to the lifestyle she enjoyed. what exactly was the value she added to the team all this time she was getting paid half a milly? Pounds!

  64. Posted by volatilitysmile | November 17, 2009 at 4:28 PM

    a million girls would kill for that job…
    that’s all.

  65. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 5:07 PM

    why is this site so anti women? great job bess!

  66. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 5:07 PM

    why is this site so anti women? great job bess!

  67. Posted by guest | November 17, 2009 at 5:09 PM

    @65/66 yeah dude, it’s totally bess’s fault that a bunch of testosterone driven males might make sexist statements. did you read the post? it mocks Lowe.

  68. Posted by thebestguest | November 18, 2009 at 11:12 AM

    These hotties aren’t hookers, but they are looking for husbands:
    http://tinyurl.com/ydj3aff
    Free to oogle the photos, sign up to score a hottie! Yowza!

  69. Posted by guest | November 23, 2009 at 1:55 PM

    @19 The new bonus, your bloomberg will be loaded with “Dirty pretty things, play Frogger, Online! Sizzzlin!

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