Jordan Wimmer, the ex-Nomos Capital IR girl taking issue with, among other things, her former boss Mark Lowe’s executive decision to hire a (highly qualified) prostitute to work at the firm, his insistence on her being present while he received lap dances, and his dumb blonde jokes, has one more thing to add. He might’ve tried to run her over, several times.
Jordan Wimmer, who earned £577,000 per year, said she believed her boss Mark Lowe 59, the firm’s founder, had hired a Russian hit man or enlisted a family member to attempt to murder her. Miss Wimmer told how she was left fearing for her life after an incident in which a car tried to run her over six times near the King’s Road in Chelsea.
Central London Employment Tribunal heard how Miss Wimmer, who is claiming sexual discrimination and constructive dismissal, told a psychiatrist “they” were trying to “hurt her” after she quit her job. The medical notes read at the tribunal told how Miss Wimmer ran into a restaurant and asked them to call 999 because a man who looked like her boss was trying to run her over after she left a gym in Chelsea in May this year.
The defense’s defense is that Jords has an “overactive imagination” and that if ML were going to kill anyone, it’d most likely a hooker. Let’s get our facts straight.
As one does. What’s the problem here?
Stuff like this happens at D. E. Shaw all the time. It’s no big deal.
577,000 GBP? Wow, Thats alot of cock to suck for that kind of money.
This happens all the time. It’s no big deal
What a load of bollocks. Everyone knows he tried to get rid of her because she is Canadian.
IR girls are usually more attractive. Something else must have been going on her for her to be employed by the firm, let alone make that kind of cash.
Ahead of today’s delicious entrée, you’ve given us some great appetizers this morning.
I like that she wears a poppy in her lapel in all the pics. Some sort of heroin chic meaning?
For that kind of money her boss could have been bangin’ midgets while smoking meth for all I care. She deserved every dumb blonde joke she got.
@6/all– we’ve actually been meaning to do a hottest hedge fund IR list for a while so start listing names/firms here and then I can get working on something more formal. For some reason a few people have tried to convince me that hedge fund HR girls are as good looking so if you’d like to throw some of those names in, too, feel free.
jordana upton, SAC.
Not sure if you include RE funds, but Grove has a cutie named Laurel who is dir of IR.
she looks like any ugly amy winehouse.
How could you miss someone six times? Toonces could have pulled that off.
999? try 911- fucking blondes…
Ever tried crossing the King’s Rd?
IB wives drivin’ chelsea tractors will kill you on a good day.
Getting offed by the boss [is the new killing it?]: Another good reason to attend the extreme fisting seminar in Vegas this weekend. I’ve commissioned a representation of Bess during the Saturday night breakout sessions here: http://i1008.photobucket.com/albums/af204/brauwert/wildwestbess.jpg
Whats this chicks qualifications? Did she go to Oxford, masters from LSE? 3-5 years at a top bank? Whats her story, before we jump to (the seemingly obvious) conclusion…
people, please see comment 10 and get to work. i need some new j/o material.
-sc
16- that;s where all the americans live if they don’t live in south kens, no?
@15…UK
@15, they’re in London you idiot. Go back to the back office and stop surfing the web… don’t you have some confirms to send out?
@19 careful, alex reads these comments.
@18 A Slore that gives good head.
@15 – stupid joke or are you really that stupid?
@11 upton is smoking hot, even in her pregnant state.
Allison Cole, CCMP Capital
Hedge fund must have hired one of their quants to allegedly run her down.
@6/All of you:
Without pictures this really never happened.
For 15:
London’s burning! London’s burning!
All across the town, all across the night
Everybody’s driving with full headlights
Black or white turn it on, face the new religion
Everybody’s sitting ’round watching television!
London’s burning with boredom now
London’s burning dial 99999
I’m up and down the Westway, in an’ out the lights
What a great traffic system – it’s so bright
I can’t think of a better way to spend the night
Then speeding around underneath the yellow lights
London’s burning with boredom now
London’s burning dial 99999
Now I’m in the subway and I’m looking for the flat
This one leads to this block, this one leads to that
The wind howls through the empty blocks looking for a home
I run through the empty stone because I’m all alone
London’s burning with boredom now…
London’s burning dial 99999
Listen to the Clash mate!
@AB/8 The poppy is a symbol of remeberence for the military in Britain.
@8: she’s wearing a poppy, moron, because it’s Remembrance Day (marking the end of WW I) and in the UK poppies = remembrance.
-Believe the tag should be using “taken”
-Also questioning use of “hasn’t”
@18 – University of Western Ontario, PoliSci, 2001
Yikes. I wouldn’t screw this broad w/ Tax Chick’s dick.
22/23- your sarcasm-o-meters need recalibrating
I im kinstintly amyzed that yew blokes are sich idiots whin it comes to sins of the flish gittin in the wye of bein’ prifishonnil in th wirk plyce.
~A. Drury
New South Wales
Austrailiar
i really hope that comma is meant to be one digit to the left
Bigger Bitch Contest: Wimmer vs. Mancision
Duking it out in lingerie…match to be officiated by the hot prostie, Malagina.
@trojan. nope. Sorry.
@15 Made me laugh.
@32/33 – How ironic that I didn’t remberance the significance.
Blonde arrives at a river’s edge and sees no way to cross that river. Looking across the river she sees another blonde. She shouts to the other blonde, “Hey!! How do I get to the other side?”
Other blonde shouts, ‘You’re already there!!!”
They pay their IR girls 577,000 GBP in the UK? I’m working in the wrong country!!
There is a brunette and a blonde hanging over the edge of a cliff off a piece of rope. They realize that the rope will break if one of them doesn’t let go and they will both fall to their deaths. The brunette starts this big heartwarming speech about how she is going to sacrifice herself. At the end of the speech the blonde starts clapping.
Fuck me I spent lunch doing a news release with Handbridge Capital Partners announcing Marisa Miller as its new Investor Relations Liaison; but it guess it was too big or something and couldnt fucking post.
@NS send it to Bess for posting
What does a blonde put behind her ears to make herself more attractive?
Her ankles.
@48 Let me see if it will let me post in three different parts.
Handbridge Capital Partners Welcomes Marisa Miller
NEWS
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Handbridge Announces New Investor Relations Liaison
New York, N.Y. (November 11, 2008) – Handbridge Capital Parnters, a New York based hedge fund, announced they have hired a new Investor Relations Liaison, Marisa Miller. Ms. Miller will be responsible for fulfilling all of our investor’s needs.
“We are very pleased to have Ms. Miller join our team,” said NakedShort, Handbridge’s General Partner. “Marisa brings with her a rock hard body as well a face that is extremely easy on the eyes, which will help Handbridge better serve our clients and help continue to display our industry leading value proposition.”
Prior to her new position, Marisa worked as a lingerie model for Victoria’s Secret. As Handbridge’s new Investor Relations Liaison, Marisa will be responsible for providing full service demonstrations to not only our staff but our clients as well. Marisa is a graduate of Monte Vista Christian School and has over 7 years of experience wearing little to no clothing and serving as masturbatory material for men and women all over the world.
About Handbridge Capital Partners.
Handbridge is a highly leveraged extremely illquid hedge fund founded in 2009. They combine cutting-edge humor as well as crude jokes to distract clients from the fund’s sub par investment returns. Handbridge has helped clients realize the full potential of mammary love making through synthetic intervention. Handbridge is headquartered in New York, N.Y. with offices Miami, F.L. and Handbridge, U.K.
@2
That’s funny, but back in 98 ish, DESCO had problems with sexual harassment issues, which the NY Times and other local rags loved to cover. They’d talk about the orgies on Friday nights, and I used to tell my friends, uh, if you saw the genetic makeup of the staff, well, you’d pretty much rule that shit out.
@NS – Does it make sense that your IR liaison doesn’t require handbridge? Just sayin’
What a bimbo.
@TC it was meant to be ironical
@NS/57 – My bad! Being too literalonic!
Suck me, beautiful
@28 got it.
@Naked
I think Marissa, while top-rate in every single regard, may be too conservative for our needs. I was thinking someone more along the lines of Shauna Sand, someone who isn’t afraid to go out there and bear it all to help the firm, etc.
@Anal I was trying to go with someone we could mold into our vision of the perfect IR staffer. With someone like Sand shes so crazy you might finder her blowing interns one day and that is NOT appropriate.
Something fishy about this Wimmer – she has an undergrad degree from some third-tier-toilet of a Canadian university, and an MBA from something called the International University of Monaco.(http://www.monaco.edu/)
See this story for her educational background:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/6532873/Millionaire-City-financier-Mark-Lowe-brought-prostitutes-to-business-meetings.html
Comment 6 is right – definitely more going on here.
63 the only thing fishy about Wimmer is that she didn’t douche after the gang bang. That’s what happens when you pull a 30 man train – afterwards your cunt smells like the hull of a shrimp boat.
Maria Bartiromo
dunno bout you guys, but i’d smash it!
@21 well-played sir
@37, psssh sarcasm detector, yeah that’s a really useful device
31- I’m really more of a 101ers fan myself ;D
Kiss and fell?
@54/SBII I wasn’t referring to the gropefests but rather the use of special-purpose vehicles to simplify complex problems.
@NS – I fully support your hiring of Marissa, but wouldn’t it make more sense to hire someone who actually would need to use the HB? I’m thinking Miranda Kerr.
@NS
Olivia Wilde meets all necessary qualifications for employment at HandCap.
@71, 72 My first choice was Natalie Portman; but wasn’t sure how the peanut gallery would respond to a non model.
so regal in that pic…
68 and the Mescaleros or B.A.D.?
64 FTW
@naked
saw portmal the other day, after never really being *that* into her, but in person, she’s definitely HandCap material (nice back end helps).
@Anal_ I have always been into Natalie. In high school I stole a life size promotional Pepsi cut out of Padmé Amidala and its been with me ever since. Then she rocked my world with the SNL role model rap skit and almost made my head explode in Closer.
Do we all recall how Marla Maples met The Donald? She was interviewing wealthy men for a book about same. Oh, what a clever girl she was! Didn’t she happily sign a $2 million pre-nup or somesuch?
Nowadays I guess we’d go to the University of Monaco.
@naked
@naked
anybody else notice she always has her neck covered in all the pictures?
hickeys?
@naked portman would be perfect fit. She’s even got the Ivy creds to suck in endowments.
@86 I see what you did there at the end.
@85,
Hickeys? Are you Ralph Malph or Potisie Weber?
Sorry, you’re quite obviously Chachi.
Aren’t you glad I’m not blonde?
Erin Burnett
The IR person for Handbridge Capital should be Honey Dejour.
The IR person for Handbridge Capital should be Honey Dejour.
I can’t believe you people on here are so insensitive. The girl was fricking harassed & abused! Regardless of her background, what she was paid etc. Lowe was obviously horrible to her – why else would she end up with depression and in a clinic!
Secondly, these msgs prove that men in finance do actually think women are second class citizens and its ACCEPTABLE behind the scenes to have treat women like objects.
You heartless b*stards. Why don’t you go and set up a Mark Lowe fanclub?
Ken Grif
Agreed. This is nothing compared to what really happens in D.E. Shaw.
You can see all the unethical illegal things happening here.. it is so common here.
Agreed. This is nothing compared to what really happens in D.E. Shaw.
You can see all the unethical illegal things happening here.. it is so common here.