Charlie Gasparino’s self-described “definitive book on the financial crisis,” Up In Smoke, comes out tomorrow. Sadly, one of the main subjects of CG’s most recent contribution to literature, Jimmy Cayne, will not be available to make an appearance at the party tomorrow evening, which is deeply upsetting to those of us who were hoping to get high in a bathroom stall with the former Bear Stearns CEO. And of course it’s upsetting to Chaz, who is well-aware that just one Jimmy Cayne would beat all of the star power Andrew Ross Sorkin had assembled at his soiree last week. Which is why JC knew he had to break it to Gaspo easy. Calling the country reporter this afternoon, after what one can only assume was a seriously successful hotboxing sesh, Cayne, I shit you not, had this to say:
Charlie, I wanted to call and tell you that I’m sorry I can’t make the book party. I really wanted to but I’m going to be out of town. I want to wish you the best of luck with the new book, and tell you that you are the greatest reporter in the history of reporting, hands down.
You have an opinion and you stick with it and I respect that. I just wanted to tell you that you’re a square guy.
suck it, sorkin!
-chaz
If the SWK/BDK entity isn’t called Black Stanley the terrorists win.
@2 if you don’t shut the fuck up and focus on JC calling me the greatest reporter in all the land, the terrorist win.
-cg
Bess is this a joke or did Charlie really call you and tell you JC said this?
It’s hip to be square.
@4 the latter.
Don’t worry Charlie, I will be there. Trust me.
-I-man
bess, you going to tell us where the party is?
Those pecs never get old.
Stan O
he was clearly stoned off his gourd when he placed this call.
@8
Are you kidding? Bess wants all that man for herself!
charles–
blow me.
-the sorkin
If there was ever a time for a victory sopressata sammy and creatine shake…
i love this fuckin jabroni
Bullshit!!
~C. Suetonius Tranquillus
Author, “The 12 Caesars”
Charlie knows, as the saying goes, if you don’t blow yourself, nobdy else will.
Bess,
I love you.
Andrew Borkin
@merkin – “black works” is much better. it’s like a shout out to my peeps (and adds the positive connotation of being employed)
@18 I’m surprised there was no decker related joke. Obvious setup there.
Yeah, Walter Cronkite? Edward R. Murrow?
Fuck YOU, and Fuck YOU.
I love Melissa Lee calling him “Chazzy” on-air.
Gasparino is. on. FIRE.
Calling friends, lovers, and family to brag about the love you’re receiving from a bridge-playing, spliff-rolling, blow-huffing, Bear of a man is THE MOTHERFUCKING KILLING IT.
That is all. Chaz is the King! All hail the King!
@cluzo maybe Black Stanley Works Decker
Probably what Andy Roddick’s wife was doing before he met her.
Drink everytime CNBC plugs ‘The Sellout’. Shit-faced by noon.
Drink everytime CNBC plugs ‘The Sellout’. Shit-faced by noon.
@25/26 *hic*
@25 – 27
… or anytime this Beth Levin does the same.
– BiffAss