Charlie Gasparino’s self-described “definitive book on the financial crisis,” Up In Smoke, comes out tomorrow. Sadly, one of the main subjects of CG’s most recent contribution to literature, Jimmy Cayne, will not be available to make an appearance at the party tomorrow evening, which is deeply upsetting to those of us who were hoping to get high in a bathroom stall with the former Bear Stearns CEO. And of course it’s upsetting to Chaz, who is well-aware that just one Jimmy Cayne would beat all of the star power Andrew Ross Sorkin had assembled at his soiree last week. Which is why JC knew he had to break it to Gaspo easy. Calling the country reporter this afternoon, after what one can only assume was a seriously successful hotboxing sesh, Cayne, I shit you not, had this to say:
Charlie, I wanted to call and tell you that I’m sorry I can’t make the book party. I really wanted to but I’m going to be out of town. I want to wish you the best of luck with the new book, and tell you that you are the greatest reporter in the history of reporting, hands down.
You have an opinion and you stick with it and I respect that. I just wanted to tell you that you’re a square guy.
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:23PM
suck it, sorkin!
-chaz
Posted by merkin capital partners , Nov 02, 2009 4:23PM
If the SWK/BDK entity isn't called Black Stanley the terrorists win.
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:25PM
@2 if you don't shut the fuck up and focus on JC calling me the greatest reporter in all the land, the terrorist win.
-cg
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:26PM
Bess is this a joke or did Charlie really call you and tell you JC said this?
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:27PM
It's hip to be square.
Posted by Bess Levin , Nov 02, 2009 4:27PM
@4 the latter.
Posted by pfluger , Nov 02, 2009 4:29PM
Don't worry Charlie, I will be there. Trust me.
-I-man
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:30PM
bess, you going to tell us where the party is?
Posted by Joe Mac , Nov 02, 2009 4:32PM
Those pecs never get old.
Stan O
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:32PM
he was clearly stoned off his gourd when he placed this call.
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:34PM
@8
Are you kidding? Bess wants all that man for herself!
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:37PM
charles--
blow me.
-the sorkin
Posted by BSD , Nov 02, 2009 4:39PM
If there was ever a time for a victory sopressata sammy and creatine shake...
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:42PM
i love this fuckin jabroni
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:49PM
Bullshit!!
~C. Suetonius Tranquillus
Author, "The 12 Caesars"
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:51PM
Charlie knows, as the saying goes, if you don't blow yourself, nobdy else will.
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 4:58PM
Bess,
I love you.
Andrew Borkin
Posted by Investorcluzo , Nov 02, 2009 5:02PM
@merkin - "black works" is much better. it's like a shout out to my peeps (and adds the positive connotation of being employed)
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 5:20PM
"An especially aggressive reporter." (Vanity Fair )
- Fuckin' A
"Born in the Bronx to a construction worker and a housewife, Gasparino has risen from his working-class roots to become one of the most influential business reporters at work today." (PR Week )
- Does Mr. Gasparino know this?
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 5:31PM
@18 I'm surprised there was no decker related joke. Obvious setup there.
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 5:32PM
Yeah, Walter Cronkite? Edward R. Murrow?
Fuck YOU, and Fuck YOU.
Posted by Joe Mac , Nov 02, 2009 5:48PM
I love Melissa Lee calling him "Chazzy" on-air.
Posted by guest , Nov 02, 2009 6:00PM
Gasparino is. on. FIRE.
Calling friends, lovers, and family to brag about the love you're receiving from a bridge-playing, spliff-rolling, blow-huffing, Bear of a man is THE MOTHERFUCKING KILLING IT.
That is all. Chaz is the King! All hail the King!
Posted by merkin capital partners , Nov 02, 2009 6:16PM
@cluzo maybe Black Stanley Works Decker
Probably what Andy Roddick's wife was doing before he met her.
Posted by guest , Nov 03, 2009 1:13PM
Drink everytime CNBC plugs 'The Sellout'. Shit-faced by noon.
Posted by guest , Nov 03, 2009 1:13PM
Drink everytime CNBC plugs 'The Sellout'. Shit-faced by noon.
Posted by guest , Nov 03, 2009 1:18PM
@25/26 *hic*
Posted by BAss , Nov 03, 2009 1:46PM
@25 - 27
... or anytime this Beth Levin does the same.
-- BiffAss