We’ve been saying for a while that John Thain is the ideal candidate to take over Bank of America, as a) he’s unemployed and b) he could use his power to equip every men’s room with the line of urinal cakes bearing Ken Lewis’s mug he’s been working on in his spare time. Yesterday at the Reuters Global Finance Summit, JT finally got on board. He didn’t specifically name-check the bank no one wants to run but obviously the admission that he’s looking for a job in private equity “or perhaps a public company” was wink-wink for the board to get in touch, as was the “call me” gesture. (Thain further hinted that BAC is at the top of his “dream gigs” list by elaborating for any headhunters in the audience that he’s looking for a “challenge.” Read between the lines Lewis and tell JT how his ass taste.) After making sure everyone in the audience had a copy of his resume, Thain moved on to address another issue that’s been weighing on him for a while now, which is the hideous suggestion by the Times that at one point during his time at Merrill “he halted a meeting with his chief financial officer and hurled a chair against the wall, shattering a nearby glass panel.”
“That was 100 percent made up,” he said. “Do I seem like a guy who throws chairs?” asked Thain. “That conference room doesn’t even have a glass wall,” he added.
Plus, HELLO? Who here doesn’t know by now that an enraged Thain slips into a onesie and horrifies onlookers by shadow wrestling on the mat, not by throwing furniture.
“That conference room doesn’t even have a glass wall _any more_.”
-fify
What’s wrong with throwing chairs around the room when you’re pissed off? I don’t understand the problem.
-cg
Chairs make great workout implements.
Stanley O
@2 …cg..is correct. We did it at Enron all the time and we never lost money. Just ask any one of us.
Chair throwing + wrestling singlet = WWE Career
what is this obsession with wrestling in the US education sector…sounds awful gay to me
what Jayson Blair gots to do with this? Racist.
@8 “100 percent made up” is what jayson blair has to do with this.
No… wire… hangers. What’s wire hangers doing in this conference room when I told you: no wire hangers EVER? I work running this company for 8 months ’till I’m half-dead, and I hear people saying, “Thain’s over his head.” And what do I get? A board… who cares as much about the beautiful job I’ve done trying to clean up this balance sheet… as they care about me. What’s wire hangers doing in this board room? Answer me. I buy this board room a beautiful wardrobe closet, and you treat it like its some dishrag. Get out of those $3,000 chairs. We’re gonna see how many wire hangers you’ve got in this board room. Wire hangers, why? You work for the most beautiful company on Wall Street you don’t care if your board room contains wire hangers. This place looks like some two-dollar-a-week furnished room in some two-bit back street town in Okalahoma.
Thain chucks the chair through the glass
Get up. Clean up this mess.
Capital L small i small a small r
this story is horrible,how bout some JO material
John Thain eats pieces of placenta like you for breakfast.
@12 what could be better than that fabulous pic of a strapping young JT in singlet?
MORE COWBELL!!
That picture reminds me of Matthew Modine in Vision Quest.
@13 you eat pieces of placenta for breakfast?
When I wake up, I like to start my day by rubbing one out to Kate Sullivan on Channel 2. Then I work the pecs, and trow shit all around da room.
CG
@12 fuck you, that pic is prime JO material.
-JT
@11 that did not go unnoticed.
@16 in a hot way?
this would never have happened in my zen garden
-vik
J Blair’s story wasn’t “100%” made up, racist @9
do I seem like a guy who throws shoes?
-you know who
http://www.jayson-blair.com/about.htm
ROR! rook what he doing now!!! ROR!
where is the “racist…examine your motives” guy?
@25 – not only racist but makes fun of people with mental problems who are trying to help people. Nice job!
thank you jayson blair apologist@25
who knew Dealbreaker was such a hotbed of hate – nice work Bess!
@10 – Classic, particularly since the VPs were required to call him Johny Dearest.
@29 are you serious?
@29 eats pieces of placenta like you for breakfast.
Not my chair not my problem, that’s what I say.
“he halted a meeting with his chief financial officer and hurled a chair against the wall, shattering a nearby glass panel.”
I like that guy’s style. Perhaps I should send him a bullwhip.
-Bobby
I would swear Thain’s gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
You don’t like lighthouses? You suck.
John, my friend, a word of advice. Those who live in glass houses should not throw chairs. I got this advice from the guy at the top.
Oh, and stop lying, you son-of-a-bitch.
- LB
We used to smoke dope on this two-foot wide ledge outside the dorm room window. Four stories up. I think it was designed with this in mind. One night somebody brings this new kid outside, and he gets all fucked up and bad ass and ends up dropping a desk chair on top of an SA’s car. Only thing I remember is his name was John.
John Mack threw a chair, and broke several phones too…none of which I have any problem with. It’s all right here in this article:
http://nymag.com/news/business/46476/index2.html