Severance: it’s means you got canned but if you got somea that way back, like circa Bear going down, before the next level shit of everyone getting axed, it was safe to assume you a) got a decent amount it and b) weren’t looking for a new job in the scariest environment imaginable. So, it was only natural that you didn’t freak out or take the first new gig you were offered, whether or not involved standing on a street corner. Also? You probably didn’t change your lifestyle much, right? If you answered yes to any of the above, Paul Joegringer knows how you feel:
Paul Joegriner hasn’t worked since March 2008, when he was laid off from his $200,000-a-year job as chief executive officer of a small bank. But you wouldn’t know it by appearances. His wife, Marzena, shuttles their two young children to private school every morning. The family recently vacationed in Virginia Beach, Va., and likes to dine on Porterhouse steaks. Since losing his job, Mr. Joegriner, 44 years old, has had several offers. He’s turned each down in hopes of landing a position comparable to what he held before. By Mr. Joegriner’s own calculations, the family will be out of money in six months if he doesn’t find work. “It will be D-Day,” he says. “But on the outside, no one has any idea that we’re in trouble.”
Except for anyone reading the Journal today. Moving on, Chuck Hipsher can also empathize:
He met his wife at the ad agency, and the two had a $40,000 wedding. Kelly Hipsher, 32, was laid off in October 2007 and found out she was pregnant in February 2008. A week later, Mr. Hipsher’s pink slip followed. Two months after that, the out-of-work couple moved to Greenville, S.C., to be closer to family and get a fresh start. Together, they had received about $60,000 in severance. “Now we have $600 to our name,” says Mr. Hipsher. Although their rent was cheaper, Mr. Hipsher says the family continued to spend like before. They moved with three cars — two BMWs and a Chevy Silverado. They continued to buy cases of $36-a-bottle wine. They spent $250 a month on a cleaning lady, and Mr. Hipsher dropped $50 a week on flowers for his wife. The couple still dined out regularly.
As can an asston of other people, apparently:
Mr. Joegriner and Hipsher are members of what might be called the severance economy — unemployed Americans who use severance pay and savings to maintain their lifestyles. Many lost their jobs in 2007 and 2008, and thought they’d soon find work. Now, they’re getting desperate. Last week, lawmakers passed a bill extending unemployment benefits up to 20 weeks. Unemployment benefits, which typically last about 26 weeks, were expected to run out for 1.3 million people by the end of the year, according to the National Employment Law Project.
But maybe there’ll be some sort of divine intervention? Maybe Jimmy Cayne, as sort of tooth fairy character, will swoop in and pass out some money to tide everyone over? Are there really only two ways for this to play out? How can that be?
“There is an end date when that severance is going to run out,” says Ellen Turf, chief executive of the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors. “At that point, the only life preserver is unemployment or getting another job….It’s an awful situation.”
Life On Severance: Comfort, Then Crisis [WSJ via NYM]
Let them eat steak.
-LB
The proper phrase in DB vernacular is METRIC asston, thank you.
@1 nice
dbag. You’re offered jobs which are your first steps towards recovery and you turn them down?
@2 wrong. bess started with the asston a few yrs ago, then ep tried to make it her own by saying “imperial asston.” don’t fuck w the jesus (BL).
$200k/year? Must have been a very small bank; did it have ears and a slot in its back?
Now this is why I come to DB: posts lifted practically whole-cloth from the WSJ with minimal, unfunny, typo-ridden commentary. This post would make Greg proud.
$200k? someone get me the 2nd year associate numbers from jeffries…
@7 – You are going to get yelled at. I am already getting turned on.
alex cohen@7 blow a goat.
@7 is this your first time on in internet? sometimes blogs do stuff like aggregate. they don’t always have to write their own 4839 word blow by blow. sometimes things are merely offered up to discuss them. if it’s not to your liking, scroll down the page and review the cohen crotch shots.
Hey, if this guy Joegringer can get me some information about this bank he used to run I’ll hire him.
- The King of Hearts
Shitheels galore! “No thanks! No job for me…I’ve got severance!”
“The family recently vacationed in Virginia Beach, Va.” haha this is supposed to be a good thing?? va beach is white trash central.
I want to give Muffy a nuclear ass-pounding.
fucking WSJ sob stories, this guy turned down 4 executive jobs and he’s crying. i hope his wife divorces him
mr. joegriner,
we are writing in response to the recent story regarding your search in the wsj. we have an opening for the position you seek. the pay czar has approved a salary of $200k (and 400 spirit points) which matches the compensation cited from your prior employer. the job opens up jan 1. please make sure to bring two forms of ID, your name will be left with lobby security. welcome to our team.
kthxbye,
-bac board of directors
I’ll pay for Viagra if they are homeless or still doing it.
-A.Greenberg
What am I missing here?! Last time I heard, unemployment was something like $400/ wk. No way these people are going to be helped by Congress extending unemployment.
@AB – thanks for the laugh.
200k? It must have been some small, privately owned retail bank with a handful of branches. Lame. I make more than 200k and I’m no where near exec level. Muahahaha
I’ve learned the real truth about the Kraft/Cadbury shenanigans.
It seems that Cadbury is actually run by a very eccentric genius named Willy Cadbury, who looks a lot like Gene Wilder. He wants to retire, so he held a contest involving golden tickets.
Kraft won the contest, but now Cadbury wants to pull out of the deal, because the Oompa-Loompas have warned him against the Kraft fellow, in a song that goes something like this.
Oompa-Loompa Dumpety daft
We will not work here for this guy Kraft.
Oompa-Loompa Doopety Doo
If you weren’t crazy we’d clobber you.
What will we get will you listen now please?
Nothing but their Macaroni and Cheese.
Whose is the stock that we’re going to swap?
It tastes no good without cream on top.
Oompa-Loompa Doopety Broom,
If you are wise you’ll hide in your room.
Oompa-Loompa Dipedy Daft,
We’ll have an ambush ready for Kraft.
At least their children are learning the important skill set of making tough choices when times are tight….NOT
The absolute best part of the article, and Mr. Joegriner in particular, came at the very end when he admits he just recently was offered a CFO slot in Wyoming for $150k and turned it down (his fourth offer by my account). I’ve got no bid for Wyoming or any other flyover state, but if my kids need to eat, I’ll do what I have to. This guy is a class A assclown.
600 bucks to their name? so thats like 12 weeks of flowers for the wife. That should shut her up.
In his spare time, #7 enjoys giving handjobs with his mouth.
his suits are horrific in those pics
the gap around neck, and puckering shoulders scream glued together in Sri Lanka
These guys spend $36/bottle by case and frozen steaks and skimp on $300 suits ??????
at least buy that Lands End separates shit that can be wiped down with a rag.
I’m not a bean counter.
At least not until we start running out of them.
- PJ
http://www.landsend.com/ix/mens-clothing/Men/Suits/Size+Range=Regular/Fit=Tailored/index.html?seq=1~2~3~4~5&catNumbers=1~545&visible=1~2~1~1~1&store=le&sort=Recommended&pageSize=24&tab=1
ok, they continued to spend. dumb. not too nice to make fun of people who lost their jobs. not everyone is as rich and set as Bess Levin.
@ 17, Rolling on the fuckin floor…that was perfection, especially the spirit points, being an ex BAC employee, I hated fuckin spirit pts
I guess these ass-clowns hope that their plight being carried by the WSJ will result in a flood of offers of appropriate size?
Let them eat squirrels for all I care.
This country is populated by retards.
The Other Gay From Delaware
trade of the week: long online poker all-ins, short dutch tulips
ok, they continued to spend. dumb. not too nice to make fun of people who lost their jobs. not everyone is as rich and set as Bess Levin.
“You know Paul, just when I think you can’t get any dumber, you go and pull a stunt like this. AND TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!!”
@33 um, okay bess treated them with kid gloves. have you seen any of her other stuff? kill yourself.
What a tool. The article screams “don’t hire me – I have such a sense of entitlement that I won’t do anything I think is beneath me, regardless if it makes people who depend on me suffer”. Put in all caps.
Anyone thats been unemployed knows its not always the easiest to make the changes you know you should make, but these jokers are ridiculous. 2 BMW’s and a Suburban, are you kidding me?
I really dont think this country is going to have the Social Security problem that everyone and their mother seems to be predicting.
This buttface was making $200,000 a year was 44 years old and only had $100,000 in savings. On top of that he had 3 mortgages on 3 different properties. Does this look like a solid plan to retire….ever? He is going to be working every day of his life; paying FICA taxes until the bitter end.
@33: Greg?
$600 to their name – that’s several rub and tugs for Christ’s sake.
Bess is so fuckin’ cool
TGFD is no fan of Barney Frank, but right is right, and I sure as hell hope his effort next week gets some traction…
http://www.marketwatch.com/story/feds-tarullo-dont-break-up-big-banks-2009-11-09
BTW, Fed Governor Tarullo is a “shitheel”.
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. I called my congressman today and asked him to support Barney. He said, “WTF?” After TGFD explained it, he then said, “Fu*kin-A.” That’s all it takes, folks.
He should call ACORN for some serious fast cash. I here they can get him a mortgage with a 0% rate. Can he pimp?
@naked – how can I short social security?
to your point re the two properties, actually, is that such a bad play? he clearly took a view on R/E and it was going well as long as property values were headed north (that shows savings). however, unlike donny trump, he can’t cut back his equity holders and pay pennies on the dollar to his debtors (and come out clean). I’m sticking up for the guy – it’s quite possible that he put little down on the houses (esp. if his bank wrote the mortgages)…
is greg michaels no longer with DB?
@44 cluzo you might be right. I will shut up now.
@naked – oops…I’m “not” sticking up for the guy, just think we should try to see the other side of the sitch.
Robert Wagner will gladly sell him a reverse mortgage
On the plus side, Paul and Chuck are eligible for a free hair cut!
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/11/10/nyregion/10bigcity.html?_r=1
Can we securitize that?
Vik-Pand-Ville cut me loose this year. I am on the sidelines and not looking. Even got an offer from them for a new mid six figures job but turned them down. Why give up a vacation to earn the same money and work? Seriously. Then, I can still get unemployment for what…26 weeks plus? I am going for a run. Then get a massage. Suck it you worker-bees.