Screen shot 2009-11-04 at 9.20.24 AM.pngNobody else wants the gig and, as you’re aware, JSC has come into some time on his hands. He wouldn’t have to move to Charlotte and abandon his Hoboken palace, which is nice, and he’s got some experience running a bank. Still, I don’t really like the idea of Papa Bear lowering his standards and just taking the job because he couldn’t find work elsewhere (also: Ken Lewis’s sloppy seconds? I don’t think so). Plus, there are so many other things he could do. While the original Beard sleeps off the hangover (and his successor wakes up atop a mountain of empty Hostess cupcake wrappers), let’s get some brainstorming going on what JC should do next:
* Bank of America Chief
* Treasury Secretary (Geithner’s practically begging for someone to put him out of his misery at this point, and he’s got the most important pre-req, employment at GS, covered)
* Race car driver
* Write his memoirs, and finally stick it to the Christian Scientist snake who stole Corzine’s job while he was on vacay with the fam


* Hedge fund manager
* Complete and total degenerate (he’s done the upstanding, productive member of society gig for a while now– time to try something new. The bonus is that this new gig would include drunkenly heckling Christie for being fat outside his office)
* Charlie Gasparino’s (martini induced) prediction: an analyst on MSNBC
* Your Call

Comments (74)

  1. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 9:48 AM

    Only if he wears his seat belt.

  2. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 9:52 AM

    * Collect unny and go skiing this winter.

  3. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 9:54 AM

    * 20 years of drinking scotch and munching on viagra seems about right.

  4. Posted by pfluger | November 4, 2009 at 9:55 AM

    I think he should capitalize on the opportunity left by the tragic passing of Billy Mays.
    Or move to Aspen and become a ski bum…

  5. Posted by Joe Mac | November 4, 2009 at 9:55 AM

    Summers’ replacement after he takes over for Tinker Bell.

  6. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    * NASCAR, baby!

  7. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    “After his departure from Goldman Sachs, he earned what has been estimated to be $400 million during the 1999 initial public offering of the company.”
    hmmmm

  8. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 9:57 AM

    This is just another ploy by GS in their quest for galactic domination. I was considering taking off the tin foil cap, but now I’m onto you Mr. Blankfein, and shortly will be fashioning a full body tinfoil suit.
    -ZH fanboy

  9. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 9:58 AM

    Can Christie even get on the NJ Gov’t Employees health care plan? Isn’t being a fat ass a preexisting condition?

  10. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 9:58 AM

    Homeboy aint hurtin for money.

  11. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 9:59 AM

    Long walk off a short pier. Nap with da’ fishes.

  12. Posted by pfluger | November 4, 2009 at 9:59 AM

    How about a contestant on “Dancing With the Stars”, to give the show better political balance?

  13. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 9:59 AM

    @10 you know when you’re that rich it’s not about the money with these guys, right?

  14. Posted by wcburrs87 | November 4, 2009 at 10:00 AM

    From the look of that picture he could start his own revival ministry.

  15. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:01 AM

    He can go back to doing something he is good at. Like banging female union reps

  16. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:02 AM

    He can go back to doing something he is good at. Like banging female union reps

  17. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:02 AM

    I think I saw a still drunk Jon Corzine sitting on a park bench in Hoboken on my way to work this am. He was muttering something about being betrayed by Hank Paulson and somebody named Guido who’d he’d paid large sums of money to “make sure he won.” Poor bastard.

  18. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:04 AM

    * Corzine – Spitzer 2012

  19. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:04 AM

    He should wrestle Jim Cramer.

  20. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:07 AM

    Equity research, sell-side baby

  21. Posted by NakedShort | November 4, 2009 at 10:08 AM

    I don’t think hed fit in at BAC. He doesn’t strike me as your typical 3-6-3 guy. Ken Lewis was the classic 3-6-3 guy and would still have a job if he didn’t let the big boys boss him around and make him buy Countrywide and Merrill.

  22. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:10 AM

    * Bedazzlers.

  23. Posted by None | November 4, 2009 at 10:10 AM

    Pursue and marry Sarah Palin?

  24. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:17 AM

    @naked he most certainly would not fit in at BAC

  25. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    Playgirl

  26. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:21 AM

    My call:
    * Perpetual opponent to Mayor-For-Life Bloomberg. Sort of a Washington Generals to the Harlem Globetrotters type arrangement.

  27. Posted by Anal_yst | November 4, 2009 at 10:23 AM

    Jon Corzine needs to merge with Lear in order to survive

  28. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:27 AM

    he should do the impossible…
    fix the flooding problem in Hoboken

  29. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:29 AM
  30. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:29 AM

    Get a bank job now or be voted out forever.
    ~Real Estate Observer

  31. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:31 AM

    He should get with Greg’s mom.

  32. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:34 AM

    * Kill himself – life ain’t gonna get any better.

  33. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:34 AM

    Powuh is jist sixy. Ebsolute powuh is titally sixy!
    ~A. Drury
    New South Wales
    Austrailiar

  34. Posted by wcburrs87 | November 4, 2009 at 10:35 AM

    jon Corzine is a struggling former governor who’s trying to rebuild his life. After losing reelection, he tries to make amends with his son who he left behind years earlier. Upon their first meeting, his son doesn’t think too highly of him until he enters the nation-wide arm wrestling competition in Las Vegas.

  35. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:35 AM

    @29 wtf are you talking about?

  36. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:37 AM

    @ 25,
    i like the way you think.
    Barney Frank

  37. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:38 AM

    @16
    Guess he needs to find a new one.

  38. Posted by highlyconfident | November 4, 2009 at 10:47 AM

    Make a porno with Bess: “Jewish chicks, Bearded Dicks”

  39. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:47 AM

    I’m a Chubby Chaser!!
    J. McGreevey

  40. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 10:49 AM

    @38 – Don’t tease me, bro.
    Fan of anything involving Bess naked.

  41. Posted by HAM05 | November 4, 2009 at 10:51 AM

    @38 bearded dicks are gross, but rhyming is awesome so well done
    sort of off topic, but wanted some thoughts – would you purchase costumes for your penis if they were available? nothing fancy (but def classy), simple cape/hat combos, perhaps a tiny tuxedo. a special occasion type of thing (like a wednesday)

  42. Posted by ex-PMB chick | November 4, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    @41 How cute! A well-dressed penis is a thoughtful touch that few men I’ve known take the time to consider.
    Diet is also important.

  43. Posted by Perkins Maxwell | November 4, 2009 at 11:05 AM

    Blind item (true!): which wall st. gossip queen was seen leaving Charlie Gasparino’s party and climbing into a cab with a hot blonde before shooting off to parts unknown?

  44. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:17 AM

    @43 – Dennis Kneale and a Golden Lab?

  45. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:22 AM

    @43 Andrew Ross Sorkin?

  46. Posted by Perkins Maxwell | November 4, 2009 at 11:27 AM

    @44: ftw. but no, not DK; although he was there, I didn’t see him leave. Maybe he picked up a streetdog after leaving the party, I don’t know.

  47. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:27 AM

    Buy some gucci loafers and be a stunt double for SL in Wall Street2

  48. Posted by Anal_yst | November 4, 2009 at 11:30 AM

    @44 nice
    @Perkins, come on, don’t play coy with us!

  49. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    @43/Perkins BL + MT, what do I win. Where was the party? How was it? Who showed?

  50. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    @49 who is MT?

  51. Posted by NakedShort | November 4, 2009 at 11:41 AM

    A friendly UPS worker just delivered my copy of The Sellout.
    WTF is the deal? I was expecting a pop up picture section in the middle and I get nothing.
    If anyone out there knows CG I would like to get my copy autographed complete with post work out sweat, Chianti spills and marinara sauce fingerprints covering 40% of the page he signs.

  52. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:41 AM

    Well after the GOP takes him to dinner for helping them bitch slap Obama.
    He should probably pay some taxes. Its laughable yet very DEm to raise taxes on others while not paying them yourself.

  53. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:42 AM

    @33 always gets me

  54. Posted by Investorcluzo | November 4, 2009 at 11:51 AM

    @naked – ask bess or perkins…I hear they have connections.

  55. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:55 AM

    @50 MT is the smokin’ hot blonde. -49

  56. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    Power forward for the Nets

  57. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 12:11 PM

    Clearly he is going to be Sec of the Treasury. He worked at GS, didnt pay taxes, is a DEM, hypocrite and a total asshole.
    Sounds to me like an Obama cabinet positioned resume if there ever was one.

  58. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 12:14 PM

    @42…”a well dressed penis” was hilarious!! It perfectly described a Texas based hedge fund boss I know.

  59. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 12:53 PM

    @44 FTW

  60. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    He should move the f*ck back to the midwest where he belongs. Get the f*ck out of NJ, and the beautiful town of Summit. Corzine you are truly a d-bag.

  61. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 2:09 PM

    John Meriwether’s COO at “LTCM III”. Sweet gig. What could possibly go wrong?

  62. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 2:17 PM

    Corzine is praying to Jesus. Can’t you tell? He has his Goldman Sachs Lapel Pin on. TGFD can see it.
    The Guy from Delaware

  63. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 2:33 PM

    “The only way to bridge the gap between my GS days and Govt work is a Handbridge.”
    - John Corzine, CEO Handbridge Capital Management, LLC

  64. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 2:46 PM

    Good riddance you taxing prick!

  65. Posted by Perkins Maxwell | November 4, 2009 at 3:41 PM

    @naked: bess has my email address. Get it from her and I can arrange a signed copy for the man behind Handbridge Capital.
    @49: who the hell is MT? John Mack showed, Kneale (no collie), Melissas Lee and Francis, a bunch of goombahs, Gasparino’s awesome mother-in-law, I didn’t see if Larry Fink was there….
    @anal_yst: come on, you know how jealously Bess guards her private life. BUT the blonde is married I’ve discovered.

  66. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 3:56 PM

    Worst Idea Ever.

  67. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 4:34 PM

    Use some of that GS money to do some good: Pabst Blue Ribbon, the Milwaukee beer brewer, has hired Bank of America Merrill Lynch to shop itself to potential buyers, the New York Post reported. The company expects around $300 million in deal value.

  68. Posted by Anal_yst | November 4, 2009 at 5:32 PM

    @67
    If we find enough trustafarian hipsters we can surely put together a syndicate for PBR, we can finance the deal by a rights offering…to punch aforementioned hipsters in the groin, come on, its finances itself!

  69. Posted by mrpink | November 4, 2009 at 5:51 PM

    Sign me up for PBR!
    -mrp

  70. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 6:58 PM

    @65/Perkins MT accompanied Bess to the ARS party and attended the CG party.
    Did anybody report on the CG party? I looked forward to reading about it, obviously.

  71. Posted by guest | November 4, 2009 at 7:05 PM

    MT = Matt Taibbi

  72. Posted by Bsherder | November 4, 2009 at 8:02 PM

    If its my call he should go hang himself for not being able to buy himself this election like his previous ones. Guess he shoulda put more capital into his smear campaigns cause obviously trying to run NJ without bending everyone over was too difficult.

  73. Posted by guest | November 5, 2009 at 12:06 PM

    Gaetana’s .
    Meat Ball Sandwiches for all?

  74. Posted by guest | November 12, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    Is this actually starting to look possible?

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