By now you’re heard the devastating news that Bloomberg will not run Maria Bartiromo’s BusinessWeek column after the deal to acquire the magazine is complete. So the Money Honey’s pearls of business wisdom need a new home and, pretty clearly, that home is DealBreaker (consider this post a formal offer). We’ll keep the name, “Face Time With Maria Bartiromo,” because that’s too great to give up, but let’s talk subject matter. She’s well-equipped to pick up where Lenny Dykstra left off in educating the public about the benefits of flying private but really the possibilities are endless. Let’s get some ideas. Think outside the box. This is her moment.
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
blowies
@1 right, but technicals or fundamentals?
what it’s like having to work alongside such a strappin piece of eye-talian meat like myself every day and not be able to take a nibble.
-cg
Corporate Jet Protocol
acquire*
I will stop reading Dealbreaker if I have to read any of Maria’s softball news interviews or weak understanding of the investment community.
Unless she wants to write about infighting at CNBC and how many blow-jobs Erin had to give to get her own show.
I gave Maria her pearls of wisdom the other night. Call me Maria.
-cg
Maria sucked hosting the roundtable “Meeting of the Minds”. Come to think of it: why does she always have show titles that are pseudo-perverse?
Sorry, gotta turn this into a caption contest…
“Are you serious???!!! My Ass is really THIS big???!!! How did that happen?”
length or girth, whats the magic ratio of DJIA rallies to the nightstand cowboy?
-the softer side of double D’s.
@7 really? you didn’t get that this was a joke?
Title suggestions…
“All Up In and All Over My Face with Maria Bartiromo”
@9:
Why does she always have to show tities that are pseudo-perverse?
So Maria, I hear we need to order a new chair for you. About how wide should the seat be?…OK, thanks.
The PreJean video was better.
@ 14 you can have Maria’s tatas, just give me more Erin Burnett lazy eye
I do not want a moment inside that box under any circmcises….too many salamis spoil the taste?
@3/Charlie something tells me Maria had enough of Italian meat by about age 8, and then moved on to guys who actually take a shower every so often.
I do not want a moment inside that box under any circmcises….too many salamis spoil the taste?
I don’t care. I would tap that ass and then have Becky Quick’s lazy brown eye for desert.
UVA grad
Bess, I really hope she takes you on the offer. Gregg can be brought out of exile as a ghost writer as I do not think that she can put together more that 4 coherent sentences on one topic. Gregg would bring it up to 8. Then adjust eh font, margins, double-space, and, voila, a column. Possible column titles:
“A look at the correlation of pasta consumption and thigh girth”
“Business attire: What not to wear while interviewing Volcker”
“A Blast from the Past: The Todd Mahal Transocean Flight Crew: where are they now”
“Image-building: Does calling me the Money Honey diminish others’ perception of my superior intellect?”
“Small business focus: the best anti-cellulite clinics of Northern NJ”
“Basic ROI: should you swallow if it is with your boss?”
“Workplace competition: how to outshine cleaves and accents”
@16
Link?
@ 10
Maria approximates the length of the donkey dong she claims to have taken during a night of reckless drinking in Nuevo Laredo while “pursuing a story”.
bessy, what’s with you today? all these very suggestive pics of women with their mouths slightly ajar…I have a funny feeling that there won’t be a dry screen in db land tonight.
$5 footlong
@24 coke or heroin mule on the way back?
i would still do her
I would let her do me with a strap on while I did Becky Quick.
Musk Ox
Nobody caught the typo in this post?
this picture is easily 4 years old. she’s double the weight now.
Not surprised BusinessWeek dumped her. She defies gravity, until now.
@30 = Greg.
Who cares about the typo?
SPANX
She likes da man juice.
CG
The intriguing typo is in posts 18 and 20. I’m guessing that what was meant was “under any circumstances,” though “under any circumcisions” is closer to what somebody’s typing actually produced. And works.
Something about that girl…
I’d ride her like a Harley.
“I was Kudlow before Kudlow” by Maria Bartiromo.
First column? tackling the thorny issue of why douchebag dem congressman won’t put themselves on medicare if Stalinism is so great an’ all.
Oh, really? Over 65? never mind.
How about “Charlie’s the cock but I’m the balls” ?
you’re heard it here first
Well, she ain’t talking about Zvi’s or Shia’s dong. So it probably is mortadella.
And yes, this would have been a great caption of the week, except Bess co-exists with these people professionally and most of the rest of us don’t.
So, if you are looking to totally trash DB readership and crater the blog I suppose adding Bartiromo would just about do it.
@42 you know how I know you’re an idiot? b/c you didn’t get that this post was a complete joke/in no way serious/that bess does stuff like this all the time.
Look at the pic carefully. What the money honey pot is saying is this: you need some face time with me? You need to be at least this size (as indicated by her two hands).
Dealbreaker management is happy to welcome Maria to the staff, as she is not afraid to get her hands dirty and has a good grasp of the pulse of every inch of Wall Street. Her column will be called:
Market Mastications with Maria B.
“Taking what the market gives, and spitting back a snowball of market insight”
DB Publisher
“My best moment as a Mad Money Man sponge” – Maria (They know nothing!)
funny thing, PwC in NY is hosting is annual “alternative investments seminar” – guest speaker Bob (how many companies can 1 person destroy?) Nardelli from Cerberus and fugly maria bartiromo.
Maria is reknowned for her knob job skills.
Wasn’t there a link posted here sometime yesterday?
it should be about http://cnbcbeauties.com
ok, I haven’t put her in there yet … but I will
I like “Money Shots With Maria Bartiromo” more… any consideration in changing the title?