The Post reported today that Jamie Dimon’s name has continued to come up in Washington as a possible replacement for Tim Geithner. This isn’t very shocking, as Jamie Dimon was considered a candidate for the job before TG was nominated, and consistently over the course of the year. Plus, he’s Obama’s favorite banker and so and and so forth. If asked to take the job, JD, who’s said he’d “love to serve his country,” probably would, and even Dick Bové is supporting the nom. Still, Bové is likely only doing so because she’s under the impression that Ken Lewis is going to get the Bank of America CEO gig. When reality sets in that KL is going to be escorted from the BAC building come Dec. 31, crazy lady Divé will obviously then declare Lewis the only one fit to be Treasury Secretary. Plus, Dimon has expressed that he’s planning on staying at JPMorgan for five to seven more years and after that, fingers crossed, will open a bar. But someone is going to have to take over for TG, whether it’s Dimon or whoever, and the question is when. Lately it seems as though the stress of acting as everyone’s fire hydrant is getting to the li’l fella. And now, he’s shouldering some of the blame for why AIG employees aren’t getting paid, which mean it’s very likely that, like Cuomo, Benmosche’s going to put Geithner in a room and do “unspeakable things” to the Secretary, that will leave him in too damaged a state to do his job. So let’s make this interesting. Two questions:
1) When will Tim Geithner leave office?
* Sometime in the next month
* January 2010
* At some point in the next six months
* Next summer
* Mid-terms
* He makes it through the whole term
* YOUR CALL
2) Under what circumstances?
* During his yearly review, the boss suggests that it would be for the best
* Obama decides to go with JD, and has someone inform TG to get his things together and be out of the building in 20 minutes.
* Larry Summers cuts Geithner off on the way to work. Geithner tries to give Summers a seizure with his headlights, to no avail. In his “lose it” moment, an enraged TG crosses the parking to give LS a piece of his mind, failing to realize that there’s no way he could take LS, and ends up in a full-body cast, and 3 months of bed rest.
* Same scenario as above but instead of simply breaking all the bones in TG’s body, Summers, having recently watched a series on the Middle Ages, thinks that if he kills Geithner, he gets to be the next King of EnglandTreasury Secretary. (When he’s done at Treasury, he’s gonna kill that lady that runs Harvard now.)
* Asks for maternity leave (and just never comes back)
* YOUR CALL
hopefully he leaves with barney franks tool in his hole
-DK
(1) after midterms, until which time he serves a useful political purpose.
(2) he leaves to fill the still-vacant top slot at BofA.
He goes the way of Chicago School’s superintendant Mike Scott and Vince Foster, probably in mid 2010 before the elections….
In time to perform with the Rockettes
Q2 2010 he escapes on a magic rainbow, returning to the Emerald City to serve as their Supreme Chief Doorkeeper.
Circumstances? My best guess is that during a meeting he’ll slide a note to BHO saying “Sorry, I have to see about a girl”
If this were the private sector Summers takes Timmy out face-f*ck and b*gger, two falls to none.
Tim, call me. It would be a pay cut but I have an idea. Walter Massey
ps. kind of in a hurry here.
Elf Pelf, take yo’ house off the market.
Bess, I make more money than you.
@10 ::::douche-bag:::
if 10 is TG (and I think it is!), no, you don’t make more money than her.
@1 and 2 concur.
Side note: What about me?
Stanley
I’ve spent all morning practicing my John Hancock on Benjamins and burning the ones I don’t like. JD
Turbo will forward a “break-up” mixtape to BHO. The following will be included.
SIDE A
Track 1: Nothing Compares 2 U – Prince
Track 2: Last Christmas – Wham!
Track 3: Die Without You – P.M. Dawn
Track 4: Don’t Leave – Blackstreet
Track 5: Between the Bars – Elliott Smith
Track 6: Every Rose Has its Thorn – Poison
SIDE B
Track 1: Mad World – Tears for Fears
Track 2: Against All Odds – The Postal Service
Track 3/4/5: You Never Give Me Your Money/Golden Slumbers/Carry that Weight (respectively) – The Beatles
Track 6: Dear Mama – 2Pac
Track 7: Bird on the Wire – Leonard Cohen
Once Timmy works past the clawback period for his $500k sign-on, he’s gonna throw away his BlackBerry, drop out and kick back on a beach in Thailand.
But before he disappears, while he still has an audience, he’ll send a fantastic resignation letter advocating hemp as the path to energy independence.
@Lowly – no such tape is complete without Journey’s “Faithfully”
After finishing out his full term he will replace Clinton as Secretary of State.
In an epic battle that has been brewing for ages, TG aligns himself with Snap!, Crackle! and Pop! to take on Count Chocula, Toucan Sam and the Trix Rabbit.
Despite their numerical advantage, the team of elves and leprechauns is simply no match for the speed, ability to fly and bloodsucking tendencies of their opponents and eventually succumbs.
Snap!, the only battle survivor, is tied to a stake and ceremonially left to be eaten by Tony the Tiger.
@15 – FTW!!!
@2 is on to something:
-TG fills the spot at BoA
-Corzine moves to Treasury
Mr. Corzine for Treasury is not such a bad idea. They could use a bond salesman.
Mr. Dimon would be more fun as Fed chief, and it fits his timeline.
I’m liking part B of @21, Jon Corzine FTW(cuz he’s Goldman) but we diverge on part A. I say TG moves on to fill the position at the B’more ACORN office, giving out top level tax and property advice.
TG replaces Benmosche at AIG for $1 a year salary and $15mm sign bonus and Austan Googlies takes over.
Timmy is taken out by a sniper in Washington DC on his way to work. The weapon is found on a 4 story building next to a gorilla mask and 5 stuffed gorillas of various sizes……Hmmmmmm…..
Oh, this happens May 2010!
Toes up on a stretcher with a .308 cal sized hole in his head.
The weekend before Christmas, he’ll be beaten to death outside of a Washington Redskins game by Bawney Fwank with an 18″ rubber cock. There’ll be no witnesses…I mean, nobody goes to those games, right?
KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-CHING!!!!
Nominating a banker to replace the guy criticized for being too cozy with bankers makes no sense whatsoever. No chance Dimon takes over.
Nominating a banker to replace the guy criticized for being too cozy with bankers makes no sense whatsoever. No chance Dimon takes over.
@28/29
Yea, it does. The coziness factor is reference to capture, look it up, if you have someone who knows how the system works, from inside, who’s already rich as hell, don’t you think that’s less conflict/potential for influence from the street?
Here is another reason why geithner can’t or won’t fix the economy.
http://keepamericaatwork.com/?p=5319
Bottom line, 35% of all Americans account for 81% of all of the salaries and wages, which means there will be some buying.
But 65% of all Americans do not make enough to spend a substantial amount on anything except the necessities.
That 65% was only about 52% in 2006 and the numbers aren’t in for
2008 or 2009, but I believe the 65% will increase to at least 75% in those years.
Hopefully I am wrong.
Virgil
http://www.KeepAmericaAtWork.com
Timmay only took the job to keep his little brother out of jail. He will leave the post later this season after a humiliating Christmas party to work for Stan Sitwell.
@31 Does valet parking count as a necessity?
@30 (Anal_yst) Mr. Dimon, though, seems to retain a sincere animus toward Citi, despite his own conspicuous success.
28/29 here (sorry for the DP). I agree that it may make sense to have a guy who knows the system. I just meant as a political matter it will never happen becuase it would add to the perception that Obama is too close to Wall Street.
28/29 here (sorry for the DP). I agree that it may make sense to have a guy who knows the system. I just meant as a political matter it will never happen becuase it would add to the perception that Obama is too close to Wall Street.
28/29 here (sorry for the DP). I agree that it may make sense to have a guy who knows the system. I just meant as a political matter it will never happen becuase it would add to the perception that Obama is too close to Wall Street.
28/29/35/36/37 – lay off the caffeine.
TG to IRS, Obama to INS, JD to UST, KL to RIP, just rearranging deck chairs
http://msunderestimated.com/2009/11/21/snl-obama-jintao-press-conference-in-beijing-video/
@40 one of their best ever – there must be a new less liberal Tina Fey burried in the writer’s group.
@41 “less liberal Tina fey”? hahaha i assume it is Tina Fey writing what she realizes and what the rest of the Dems will soon realize…this isnt comedy its the truth!
-40
Danny Boy Synder hires Timmy to coach the Redskins next season. By the end of season, the ‘Skins will amass minus three trillon net yards and we’ll be told the Redskins recession is over.
17,
I’m actually embarrassed I forgot that gem. That would bring Geithner to his knees, as he mixed it in to make the 45 minute mark. He would be trembling as he hit the red record and play button, concurrently.
-LA
I’m sure the best for you outletlouisvuitton.areavoices.com/ with low price