As previously mentioned, Bernie Madoff’s life in prison is prettay prettay prettay good. Fellow inmates make him delicious wrap sandwiches, he’s in with “the homosexual posse,” and every now and then he gets stoned. The Jouranal checked in with the big man, and reports today that things are still going quite nicely. He plays bocce, chess and checkers. He “walks around the prison with his head held high.” And he’s got respect. “To every con artist, he is the godfather, the don,” says an inmate interviewed earlier this week. One thing that does chap his hide though? The cockbags he used to employ, who got off easy. I mean sure, the scam was his idea, and he did most of the heavy lifting, all of which they benefited from– and he didn’t hear any complaints at the time. Maybe, when he gets out of the joint, he’ll come down there and give them a crew cut.
Mr. Madoff chatted about the fraud’s aftermath, claiming he “carried” employees at Bernard L. Madoff Securities LLC for more than two decades, yet wound up with an astronomical prison sentence. “I guess he felt they turned their back on him,” Mr. White says.
Despite this upset, Berns knows he’s got it going pretty good, and also that he’s hot shit. That’s why fellow inmates have tried to get his signature to sell on eBay, and make bank. That, Mades will not go along with but he will sit for any interested in sketching the man, the myth, the legend in all his regalness.
Kenneth Calvin “K.C.” White, whose prison sentence in Butner for bank robbery overlapped with Mr. Madoff’s for several weeks this summer, says he met him in the line where inmates await medication. Mr. White is an artist who painted several murals throughout the prison. Mr. Madoff struck up a conversation, saying: “You’re the guy who does all the pictures around here,” Mr. White recalls. Mr. Madoff asked Mr. White to paint his portrait, so the bank robber drew a fast sketch in the prison paint shop where Mr. Madoff worked at the time, according to Mr. White. Mr. Madoff told Mr. White he didn’t want to be depicted in his prison khakis, Mr. White says, so he drew him in a suit and tie.
Next up: White does Berns in this.
new WSJ headshot!
Notice how BM never shows his teeth, even when he’s smiling? That’s a telltale sign of a con artist.
11:20 AM and the second story? Where are the other writers for this blog? Or is this just the Bess Levin show now?
“I made them millions of dollars. I’m doing 150 years. Fuck my victims.”
-Bernie Madoff
@3 has been for some time now, champ.
@3 It’s always been the Bess Levin show, as it should be. Besides, Shazbot is in some smelly English pub laying in a pool of his own vomit and piss cursing the day he decided to write for DB.
@6– Nigel here, I just spotted Shazbot entering the offices of Nomos Capital, dressed undercover as a wealthy investor. Will have further updates from Stringfellows later about his ongoings. Cheers.
@ 6- I tend to diasgree with you. Shabot’s articles were far better than Greg’s articles.
@ 6- I tend to diasgree. Shazbot’s articles were far better than Greg’s articles.
He looks so regal in that pic.
Chapter 22
A co-worker was in my office one day and noticed a small object on my credenza along with other memorabilia, plaques, pictures an highlights of my professional life. He asked, “Is that a pellet from a pellet gun? I had a pellet gun when I was a kid….”
As he droned on I reflected on the “pellet” , a plaster cast of Bernie’s “junk” , as they say in the ghetto, and remembered how I wished I hadn’t brought so much plaster that day.
8&9 I tend to agree with you, but at the moment, Shazbot is still drunk and pissing himself and wishes Greg was at DB taking the daily beatings instead of himself.
hah, what a prick.
Nice Titanic reference in the tags, Bess.
@BeckyBootFan– that’s a Family Guy reference.
Does he do special orders?
I’d like one with a shiv sticking out of his eye.
The second sketch in KC’s series of Bernie was a tasteful full nude done beside a bowl of fruit and vegetables in the prison kitchen pantry.
However, the juxtaposition of a baby carrot parallel to BM’s waist completely eclipsed his underdeveloped pee-shooter, thereby ruining the aesthetic aim of KC’s ‘Man Over Nature’ motif
-Art/Penis critic Sheryl Weinstein
@19 is going to get abused like the losing contestant of a boxing match.
That’s actually not a bad drawing.
Bess – I enjoyed the Titanic reference!
@19 is getting whipped like a margarita.
@15/Bess and 19…or was it originally from “As Good As It Gets”? Greg Kinnear, getting his gay/artist mojo back on and drawing Helen Hunt by the bathtub?
“We don’t make mistakes, we just have happy accidents.” Bob Ross
@22 FTW. I almost pissed myself. Perfect end to a Friday.