• 23 Dec 2009 at 3:59 PM

Crap Coffee Situation Not Unique To Goldman Sachs

By

Yesterday we discussed the matter of whether or not the coffee provided by Goldman Sachs to its employees tastes like ass. The consensus from the inside seemed to be yes, it does. Today, emboldened by the brave souls at GS who stood up to say to Lloyd Blankfein, via bitching to the press, “this coffee tastes like shit,” a Blackstone employee has done the same.
I hope you’re listening, Stephen Schwarzman.

“Re: crap coffee, I can confirm, unequivocally, that the same holds true at Blackstone. What we’re provided in the kitchen is utterly and completely foul. It can only be described as swill.”



[0:50, a typical morning at Blackstone. SS is the one in the robe.]

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Comments (30)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 12:05 PM

    Whinny bitches

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 12:08 PM

    shockingly enough bofa has peets

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 12:08 PM

    Bess, your contact at Blackstone is confused. We have crab flavored coffee, not crap flavored. It's an acquired taste.
    ~Steve

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 12:15 PM

    "bitch! learn how to make coffee you fuckin whore!"
    best scene ever. you've made my day BL.

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 12:21 PM

    wah

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 12:29 PM

    barcap's coffee sucks as well – pretty much the worst instant coffee I have ever tried

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 12:31 PM

    Sanka rocks.

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 12:31 PM

    Stop complaining and make your own damn coffee!

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 12:49 PM

    BarCap, at least at 745, has Flavia machines with a bunch of different flavors. Definitely a step up from generic decaf or regular that have been sitting in big pots since who knows when.
    As an ex GSer, I can concur that the coffee did suck, and also missing from the suckage list is Citi, which I think used the same vendor as GS, but maybe we don't even consider Citi worth making fun of anymore.

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 12:56 PM

    UBS SUCKS MORE

  11. 11
    Posted by Registered Rep | December 23, 2009 at 1:05 PM

    Here at JP Morgan Chase we drink the best fuckin coffee in the world. Its flavored with bits of greatness by Dimon himself!

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 1:43 PM

    …oh OK, I'll say it
    Put the coffee down! Coffee is for closers

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 4:05 PM

    Whinny bitches

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 4:08 PM

    shockingly enough bofa has peets

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 4:56 PM

    UBS SUCKS MORE

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 5:58 PM

    We have to pay for water.
    Ameriprise FA

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | December 23, 2009 at 9:41 PM

    All you motherfuckers, someone should poisen the coffee so the world can be rid of you arrogant prick ass bastards

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | December 24, 2009 at 4:33 AM

    Perhaps even more embarrassing, they actually discontinued the free coffee service at UBS's NYC and Chicago offices earlier this year.

  19. 19
    Posted by Bess_please_sit_on_m | December 24, 2009 at 4:43 AM

    BofA not only has Peets but also starbucks. Bess, you need to give credit to Kenny for this!

  20. 20
    Posted by rahodeb | December 24, 2009 at 6:06 AM

    @14 / Registered Rep – Please be sure to include the periods after the “J” and “P” whenever you type J.P. Morgan. The memo went out a few months ago, and applies to all uses of the premium brand name. Of course, I'm realizing as I type this, you're probably a retail broker sitting in a Chase branch somewhere, hawking American Funds' Large Cap Value A Shares with a 5% front load to my poor, old Meemaw, but still, consistency is an important part of branding, so do try to keep up with marketing memoranda.

  21. 21
    Posted by Oscar Gekko | December 26, 2009 at 7:24 AM

    What a fascinating story. How is that Goldman employees know so much about the taste of ass?

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