That’s the bizarre conclusion drawn from the results of a recent survey by affair-facilitating website IllicitEncounters, despite the fact that none of the financial services hacks surveyed responded to the question, “Why are you cheating” with the answer “because the public just isn’t giving it to me like it used to.” Here’s what they did say:
* “Just want to feel loved”
* “For the thrill”
* “Unstable home life”
* “To escape the mundane”
* “To boost the ego”
* “To avoid costly divorces”
* “To lavish my hard earned money on someone”
* “I’m entitled to it”
* “Because I can”
* “Peer pressure”
Obviously though, perhaps we’re just not reading between the lines. Maybe the longer version of the Goldman Sachs employee’s response “just want to feel loved” is “just want to feel loved; wouldn’t have to B my L on some T’s that don’t belong to my W if the public would stop hating on me.” Regardless of your decision to dip your wick in someone strange sweet, take heart! You no longer have to hide it from your colleagues. Everybody does it and they want you to talk about it:
Says one respondent: “Where I work, many of the tops dogs are open about their affairs. Having a mistress is like having a flash car.”
Hey, it’s, uh, it’s NakedShort. I need you to do me a huge favor. Um, can you please, uh, take my name off my posts on your website. My wife went through my web history. And, uh, may be posting here. If you can, please take my name off that and, um, and what do you call it just have it as a website, just have it as everyone posting as guest. That’s it, OK. You gotta do this for me. Huge. Quickly. All right. Bye
This economy’s driven Tiger to chase tail!
Best tags ever.
I’m not alone!!
-TW
* “To feel like a woman again”
-P Jiang
@5 ftw
“To lavish my hard earned money on someone”?
gayest response ever
Once again, because of the damn Dealbreaker comments, I had to explain to the 2 oil traders why I was giggling at my work station. They were discussing the pleats in their Hong Kong made, custom fitted suit pants and they looked at me like I was interrupting a “strategy” meeting.
“Because I want to _______________ and my wife won’t let me do it to her.”
*Fill in the blanks. Winner gets a year of free office visits to Dr. Mantis Tobaggan, M.D.
*”It’s fun to do bad things”
“because I have a dick, and I’m an idiot”
Bess, you are gonna be a great mom some day. Just sayin’.
@9/BBF you first, please, I enjoy reading your perspective on intimate matters.
“I let my dick talk for me”
Only risk left worth taking. Rather have a clawed-back than a clawback.
Tiger’s under the bed…..
Phil
Bess, thanks for that picture it moved me.
@8 = jealous
Good to know its only bankers who cheat on their spouses.
~Warren in Omaha
The married guy in the photo is obviously a queer. Why else would he have a tan overcoat?
@18 – it’s not cheating if your wife approves.
Astrid
@12, thank you, don’t mind if I do!
survey says…AngryPirate.
@SBII and only a closeted homophobe queer like yourself would see that pic and focus on the guy’s sartorial choices.
@9 line her pussy with chocolate sauce.
-SAC
good JO material
BBF,
“[...] wear a scream mask [...]”
That’s honestly my reasoning.
-William Jeffersonian Clintonion
“peer pressure”…..”flash car”….
What firm is this?
SAC@22 wow and ftw
8- pleats? really? mc hammer is trading oil these days?
@17…..a #2 oil trader is a person who was looking for a job running a massage parlor but found the #2 oil job first.
@9 “Bess, you are gonna be a great mom some day. Just sayin’.”
what from this post made you draw that conclusion?
I never cheated…
on my wife…can i go home now?
B. Madoff
“to feel sensy”
@30
Just everything.
You’re not a girl, are you?
-12
PS Thanks, 21/BBF, you exceeded my expectations.
flash car? I thought Limeys were too uptight to admit to cheating.
@1/Naked, sorry, but I think I’d rather just sell you out to get on TV. Shoulda paid me off, stud.
@33 no, I’m a guy…not saying bess won’t be the best mom eva, but what about this post indicates that?
-30
Bernie: Honey I’m dying, I haven’t had sex in a month.
Ruth: You’ve been in here for 2 months.
@37,30…Are you saying what you are saying now ISN’T what you were saying?
~AIG Quant
@37
I don’t want to derail this thread further. Mostly the love. And the feeling that she understands and indulges us, but she doesn’t fall for any bullshit.
-12/33
@SBII/19 – the guy is obviously queer because he isn’t stripping naked upon discovering his wife/ girlfriend is sleeping with another woman!
@22, the male model may well be gay, and thinking there was a hot boy inside the wardrobe. He was probably as surprised as the dame on the bed to see a chick.
Agree with you about the homophobia; it’s the closested gays that yell the loudest about “queers”. When are the homophobes who post their fag comments gonna’ realize they ain’t fooling anyone except themselves and their closeted buds?
* “Because Nomos Capital is my broker.”
I’ve never heard of this Che Men’s magazine, but their ads/covers are awesome, where do I sign up?!
http://www.scaryideas.com/content/4057/
Could we maybe get a homo banker’s take on the whole mise en scene?
Jeeze louise.
http://www.scaryideas.com/content/1261/
It moved.
~Meredith Baxter
Because the public will attack me for conspicuous consumption, I must partake in promiscuous consumption.
-GS Banker
42 is the Greg Louganis of the message board. I can smell the lesions
Re: the last tag – looks like someone is affected a little too much by broken marriages. Bess, do you have something to share? I’ll give you a shoulder to lean on. And by ‘shoulder’, I mean testicle.
@43, what sewer did you pop out of?
@50 actually it looks like bess was being sarcastic– for a change– and rolling her eyes (/tongue) at the article’s conclusion that it’s the public’s fault bankers are cheating.
@ 19-Yes, everyone who wear a colored coat must be queer.
@ 19-Yes, everyone who wear a colored coat is queer.
@ 19-Yes, everyone who wear a colored coat is queer.
@19, triple posting bastard: What do you mean by “colored”??
~Nat X
My C&Bs need to merge with a transparent coat in order to stay hetero.
@51 = inadvertent reponse to @43. Intended for @49 and his creepy, pathological comments. Dude, go see a shrink! You’ve got serious issues.
@19…I apologize….I meant @53,54,55….I am the black sheep of the commentariat today. WAIT!! What do I mean by “black sheep”???
~Nat X
@11 — you repeated yourself
@53, 54, 55 — triple posters are queer
“Went to a bulge bracket x-mas party w/wives….fright night”
Maybe so, but I am not.
53,54,55
No – I just think the guy looks like a unilateral-sexual.
@9/BBF
“Because I want to quit my job, watch Sportscenter, play Wii, eat Salt and Vinegar Chips and drink Crown Royal all day and my wife won’t let me do it to her.”
58, I do see a shrink. His name is Freud, he told me to do a bunch of yay. So every Thursday me and Mr. Kudblow go to his apartment, do fat rails and talk about how gay everyone else is. And what I’ve come to realize is everyone is a super, big dumb homo gay.
64/NS,
Crown? You’re an even better man than originally thought. Godspeed.
“I will only do this for 18 months, after which I expect to have a whole new attitude, and then everything will be different.”
- Rahmo
@66/LA
I was in a Crown induced haze about 9 months ago when I gave them a call to see if there would be anyway for them to custom build a purple Crown Royal bag for my loved ones to slide my casket in when I go.
They said no.
23=CoTD.
Wait, the guy walks in on two girls and he has a problem? Seems to me, a settlement can be reached whereby all three are happy.
68/NS,
Nice! True story: in college, my ex-girlfriend kicked me out of the ‘rent’s chalet during winter break, and forced me to sleep in her car. I had my winter jacket, a 1/5 of crown, a pack of smokes, and that fucking pouch to keep my hands warm. Servicey!
Story of my goddamned life.
@9: “talk about my feelings.”
LOL, j/k, bukakke.
“Collies bow down before me”
You Know
Dealbreaker was made specifically for articles like this one.
Bess, A+ for the tags.
Things like this happen to me all the time. Except that I walk in on my wife while the ugly next-door neighbor, who looks like Gladys Kravitz from Bewitched, is in the closet naked. Ewwwww.
– not Darrin Stevens
Who would ever cheat on Erin Burnett? No one.
Who would ever cheat on Maria? I think we all would…and vice versa.
lol.
Another day brightener Bess! Gentlemen: You guys are brutal, but very, very funny.
Sidebar to Elin…Grow up! All that and monagomy too??? I don’t think so.
I think I’d go lesbian for the chick on the bed.
@ 78- Really? I wouldn’t, but then again I don’t think I would go lesbian for anyone.
@9
cuddle after she fists me