So last week I happened to run into Jamie Dimon and yadda yadda yadda I just wanted to tell you guys that one of the seriously upsetting consequences of the financial crisis has been the toll taken on JD’s music career.
Not sure if you’re aware, but Dimon used to play the guitar, all the time. Took lessons in fact. Springsteen’s his go-to jam. But as a result of the shit hitting the fan, J to the D hasn’t played in like a year (he even showed me his callous-less hands to prove it). That’s not okay with me, and for those hoping to watch JD jam to “Badlands” or “Atlantic City” on the floor of the NYSE, it shouldn’t be okay with you. We’ve got fix this thing, ASAP, and free up his time for more important pursuits.
jamie dimon and stevie in one week? someone’s got some wet panties.
@1 seconded
damn levin you get around.
What do these chumps have that I don’t?
- Biff Basness, PhD.
bess left early thurs. i.e. this date was planned. lucky girl.
@4 mental stability?
did JD come with you to the SAC party?
Musicians get all the pussy.
@5 – Bess left early on Thursday to get ready for her field trip to CT (ie, SAC holiday party). Please try to keep up.
@tax chick– note that she linked to that post in the above, and try and keep up. clearly we’re getting the answer as to why she needed to leave 5 hours before the SAC party. (she was meeting JD first.)
fantastic photoshop.
So JD is E. Makes sense no one at SAC would recognize him.
that’s the sound of john carney putting a gun in his mouth.
awesome
BL is the shit.
someone had quite the week.
so what, you’re done with me?
-SAC
@10/5 – Fair point. Tired. Going home.
Drummer over here, JD, hit me up and we’ll rock out.
George: Listen to this. Marcy comes up and she tells me her ex-boyfriend was over late last night, and “yada yada yada, I’m really tired today.” You don’t think she yada yada’d sex.
Elaine: (Raising hand) I’ve yada yada’d sex.
George: Really?
Elaine: Yeah. I met this lawyer, we went out to dinner, I had the lobster bisk, we went back to my place, yada yada yada, I never heard from him again.
Jerry: But you yada yada’d over the best part.
Elaine: No, I mentioned the bisk.
The guy is very flexible. See the arm behind the leg. I bet a lot of other bank CEOs can’t do that.
@21 I know I can’t :/
-vik
Diamonds in The Rough?
- DJ LIBOR
100% BESS!
Whatever, fags. I can turn pitchbooks into manischewitz, and used to walk across the Harlem river on my way home at night.
-Bloyd
@25 but do you get the chicks? no.
Fiddler on the Jewf.
@27 would’ve been funny or at least relevant if it were about blankfein. idiot.
@bess it’s amazing the kind of access you can get with a pair of tits, isn’t it?
-ars
I see what you are doing Bess, this is a teaser for a big piece tomorrow isn’t it? Isn’t it?
jd went with you to the SAC party, didn’t he? DIDN’T HE??
@29 don’t be jealous
JD stays true to his working-class roots
@33 JD was born into an upper class family, his father was a banker, he attended a very prestigious private school. know your CEOs.
@bess can I give you my resume to give JD?
“he even showed me his callous-less hands to prove it”
i’m not even going to say it…but you know what I’m thinking.
20 is on to something.
@37- agreed
@bess- you can’t yada yada sex!
@20
learn how to spell bisque. Dumbass.
@39 it’s clearly copied and pasted from the seinfeld script. retard.
-jseinfeld
OK I’ll start: Jamie needs to delegate responsibility for the nitty gritty at JPMC, spending his efforts on strategy, closing important deals, maintaining good relationships with investors and with world leaders. Otherwise he will never find time to shred his axe.
First, though, some hard introspection is in order. Does Jamie live to work, or does he work to live? Is rock and roll in his soul or is he just a poser? These are the kind of questions he should ask himself.
If Jamie finds he can’t delegate to any internal candidates, he should make it a priority to acquire talent from the outside. From Citadel, for instance. They’re not doing anything.
did tuesday night mean nothing to you?!
-SAC
Bess, did he tell you what he wants to name the place?