bofa.jpgDeadlines come and deadlines go without a taker for the Worst Job on Wall Street. Bank of America’s board of directors is running through CEO candidates faster than Charlie Gasparino goes through creatine, but it doesn’t seem able to take a hint.
Already coming up with precious few names interested in succeeding the inimitable (and, according to the since-silenced Dick Bové, irreplaceable) Ken Lewis, the finely-honed machine that is the BofA board can’t help but drive away the ones it finds who don’t put out press releases making clear they don’t want the goddamned job. When two prospective told the board that Ken’s Kingdom needed to be cut down to size, the board broke out in hives, began sobbing collectively and had security remove the offending presence from the greater Charlotte area.


What does Michael O’Neill know anyway? Sure, he ran Barclays pretty well, but now he’s on the board of Citigroup. Who the hell is he to tell us that our bank is not only too big to fail, but too big (among other things) to succeed?
“Every conversation I’ve ever had would indicate they believe the model is the right model,” BofA flack Bob Stickler said of the bank’s board. “They are looking for somebody who can execute against the model,” no matter how impossible or ill-advised that model may be.
On the bright side (for the Bovéists, anyway), Ken Lewis doesn’t have any plans once he steps down at the end of the year. He’s hinting he’d be willing to stick around if the board can’t find someone, somewhere to take the job.
BofA Breakup Is New Snag in CEO Hunt [WSJ]

Comments (19)

  1. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 9:55 AM

    In 5-7 years, this will be the besst job on Wall st, depending on how well they integrate ML and Countrywide. They are going to be HUGE..

  2. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 9:59 AM

    -@1
    then why are you leaving KL?

  3. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 10:00 AM

    They will be great because unlike Goldman Sachs, all the data BofA has is machine readable.
    Regards,
    Optimus Prime
    Autobot Capital Partners

  4. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 10:07 AM

    @2, not KL. You have to admit the possibilities are big there. All the ML trading, retail brokerage, mortgage biz, bank deposits. Tons of cheap funding, its pretty juicy
    KL is a dunb hick

  5. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 10:07 AM

    @2, not KL. You have to admit the possibilities are big there. All the ML trading, retail brokerage, mortgage biz, bank deposits. Tons of cheap funding, its pretty juicy
    KL is a dumb hick

  6. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 10:16 AM

    Why do Black people always call white people “crackas” on the subway?

  7. Posted by CoveredLong | December 2, 2009 at 10:18 AM

    @6 – You misinterpreted that…they are just hungry and askin’ for food.

  8. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    Ken Lewis raped and murdered a young girl in 1992.

  9. Posted by NakedShort | December 2, 2009 at 10:21 AM

    @8 shady voicemail or it didnt happen.

  10. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 10:41 AM
  11. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 10:42 AM

    @9/NS Isn’t it damning enough that KL has never once denied the rumor that he raped and murdered a young girl in 1992?

  12. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 10:45 AM

    I sincerely apologize for encouraging that sort of vicious animal virtual gossip here. Examining my motives as I type this.
    -11 (not 8)

  13. Posted by NakedShort | December 2, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    Wow Tiger actually took Kudlow’s advice and came clean. I think hes the first person to take LK’s advice since the mid 70s.

  14. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 10:57 AM

    @10 seriously? it says the event takes place December 6.

  15. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    @13
    I have taken LK’s advice since the 70s, he remains to this day one of my greatest friends.
    Regards,
    Ghost of Pablo Escobar

  16. Posted by pfluger | December 2, 2009 at 1:05 PM

    I stopped takin’ da creatine a while ago, because it made my nuts shrink to da size of marbles. And not da big “masher” marbles, da little ones.
    I hope dey get big again, because my small balls diminish my greatness and are an embarrasment in da locker room.
    -cg

  17. Posted by Joe Mac | December 2, 2009 at 1:14 PM

    I know I can count on Cramer’s endorsement.
    Bob Steele

  18. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 6:26 PM

    Hot damn, can you have more links in the post?

  19. Posted by guest | December 2, 2009 at 9:10 PM

    If you’re still looking for a new CEO Bank of America, I know this Richard “Dick” Fuld guy, he’s a cool operator.

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