• 17 Dec 2009 at 3:20 PM

Little-Known Government Agency Says Everything Is A-OK

By

ups.jpgNot even this guy could do a worse job than Tim Geithner.The U.S. and global economies have “turned a corner,” according to Federal Express.
The highly-regarded economic study board and shipping company says we’re all going to be alright, because they shipped a freakin’ ton of stuff on Monday. Their own numbers don’t seem to bear out the optimism, but who cares about 30% drops in profit when you can offer assurances that our long international nightmare is over?
Unless you’re British. Your country still sucks.
FedEx Sees Economy Gaining Strength [WSJ]

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Comments (82)

Older Comments
  1. 1
    Posted by pfluger | December 17, 2009 at 11:32 AM

    I don't wanna hear no bullshit dis year about how my salami and provlone order was late because of high volume.
    People are dependin' on me to bring da salami.
    -cg

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 11:35 AM

    @ 1 has jumped the shark. au revoir.

  3. 3
    Posted by CoveredLong | December 17, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    Shazbot – I miss BLANUS…and if there's one thing that sucks worse than you two, it's the guy (not from FedEx) in the picture you posted.
    Having said that (hat tip Jerry), I actually kind of enjoyed this post.
    Happy Holidays Jon (Greg), for serious.

  4. 4
    Posted by CoveredLong | December 17, 2009 at 11:38 AM

    @2 – "I don't wanna hear no bullshit dis year about how my salami and provlone order was late because of high volume.
    People are dependin' on me to bring da salami.
    -cg"
    -The Revoir

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    Jon thats sthe Brown guy.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 11:41 AM

    Hey Shazam – uh…I think that is the UPS guy – not FedEx. Clearly this is a finance blog and not a marketing one…

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    maaaaan in a lady wig!

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    3, 5, 6 you're misunderestimating Jon's acute sense of irony.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 11:51 AM

    @8 – uh, no. You sound like a quant defending the intelligence of his arbitrage model. Do you work for LTCM or the Assman?

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 11:51 AM

    @8 what that he is brown?

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    i hate that Ad..
    I dont get the connection between the bad guy in Die Hard and UPS shipping.

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 12:06 PM

    I track hits on dirtysanchez.com to measure consumer confidence.
    A. Greenspan

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    Midtown JA is like getting your hair cut at a bad providence strip club where the strippers keep their clothes on and kind of know how to cut hair.
    Martial Vivot ftw

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 12:09 PM

    @9, now you're the ironic one. just stringing a bunch of "words" together one after another.
    "-8"

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 12:12 PM

    God damn it. Leaving db comments on an iPhone sucks.
    -13

  16. 16
    Posted by pfluger | December 17, 2009 at 12:20 PM

    @2:
    So I'm fired??! Like Gregg?
    And right before Christmas? You heartless SOB. CG is a friend-a-mine, and he will hear of this!

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 12:31 PM

    "Nothing is fucked here, Dude. Come on, you're being very un-Dude."
    - Federal "the Dude" Express

  18. 18
    Posted by Leave Anal-yst Alone | December 17, 2009 at 12:39 PM

    and pick on that db, cluzo.

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 12:45 PM

    Well Greggums, the British have the same sentiment for your posts.

  20. 20
    Posted by NegativeConvexity | December 17, 2009 at 1:07 PM

    Shipping 3,000 gold-plated Fleshlights to 85 Broad does not consititute an economic recovery

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 1:08 PM

    UPSucks

  22. 22
    Posted by NegativeConvexity | December 17, 2009 at 1:14 PM

    constitu.. ah fuck it….
    Golden showers in Stamford FTW!!

  23. 23
    Posted by pfluger | December 17, 2009 at 8:32 PM

    I don’t wanna hear no bullshit dis year about how my salami and provlone order was late because of high volume.
    People are dependin’ on me to bring da salami.
    -cg

  24. 24
    Posted by pfluger | December 17, 2009 at 8:32 PM

    I don’t wanna hear no bullshit dis year about how my salami and provlone order was late because of high volume.
    People are dependin’ on me to bring da salami.
    -cg

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:35 PM

    @ 1 has jumped the shark. au revoir.

  26. 26
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 3:35 PM

    @ 1 has jumped the shark. au revoir.

  27. 27
    Posted by CoveredLong | December 17, 2009 at 8:37 PM

    Shazbot – I miss BLANUS…and if there’s one thing that sucks worse than you two, it’s the guy (not from FedEx) in the picture you posted.
    Having said that (hat tip Jerry), I actually kind of enjoyed this post.
    Happy Holidays Jon (Greg), for serious.

  28. 28
    Posted by CoveredLong | December 17, 2009 at 8:37 PM

    Shazbot – I miss BLANUS…and if there’s one thing that sucks worse than you two, it’s the guy (not from FedEx) in the picture you posted.
    Having said that (hat tip Jerry), I actually kind of enjoyed this post.
    Happy Holidays Jon (Greg), for serious.

  29. 29
    Posted by CoveredLong | December 17, 2009 at 8:38 PM

    @2 – “I don’t wanna hear no bullshit dis year about how my salami and provlone order was late because of high volume.
    People are dependin’ on me to bring da salami.
    -cg”
    -The Revoir

  30. 30
    Posted by CoveredLong | December 17, 2009 at 8:38 PM

    @2 – “I don’t wanna hear no bullshit dis year about how my salami and provlone order was late because of high volume.
    People are dependin’ on me to bring da salami.
    -cg”
    -The Revoir

  31. 31
    Posted by CoveredLong | December 17, 2009 at 8:38 PM

    @2 – “I don’t wanna hear no bullshit dis year about how my salami and provlone order was late because of high volume.
    People are dependin’ on me to bring da salami.
    -cg”
    -The Revoir

  32. 32
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:40 PM

    Jon thats sthe Brown guy.

  33. 33
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:40 PM

    Jon thats sthe Brown guy.

  34. 34
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 3:40 PM

    Jon thats sthe Brown guy.

  35. 35
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:41 PM

    Hey Shazam – uh…I think that is the UPS guy – not FedEx. Clearly this is a finance blog and not a marketing one…

  36. 36
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:41 PM

    Hey Shazam – uh…I think that is the UPS guy – not FedEx. Clearly this is a finance blog and not a marketing one…

  37. 37
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 3:41 PM

    Hey Shazam – uh…I think that is the UPS guy – not FedEx. Clearly this is a finance blog and not a marketing one…

  38. 38
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:43 PM

    maaaaan in a lady wig!

  39. 39
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:43 PM

    maaaaan in a lady wig!

  40. 40
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 3:43 PM

    maaaaan in a lady wig!

  41. 41
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:45 PM

    3, 5, 6 you’re misunderestimating Jon’s acute sense of irony.

  42. 42
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:45 PM

    3, 5, 6 you’re misunderestimating Jon’s acute sense of irony.

  43. 43
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:45 PM

    3, 5, 6 you’re misunderestimating Jon’s acute sense of irony.

  44. 44
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:45 PM

    3, 5, 6 you’re misunderestimating Jon’s acute sense of irony.

  45. 45
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:51 PM

    @8 – uh, no. You sound like a quant defending the intelligence of his arbitrage model. Do you work for LTCM or the Assman?

  46. 46
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:51 PM

    @8 – uh, no. You sound like a quant defending the intelligence of his arbitrage model. Do you work for LTCM or the Assman?

  47. 47
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:51 PM

    @8 what that he is brown?

  48. 48
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:51 PM

    @8 what that he is brown?

  49. 49
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:51 PM

    @8 what that he is brown?

  50. 50
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 3:51 PM

    @8 – uh, no. You sound like a quant defending the intelligence of his arbitrage model. Do you work for LTCM or the Assman?

  51. 51
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 3:51 PM

    @8 what that he is brown?

  52. 52
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:56 PM

    i hate that Ad..
    I dont get the connection between the bad guy in Die Hard and UPS shipping.

  53. 53
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:56 PM

    i hate that Ad..
    I dont get the connection between the bad guy in Die Hard and UPS shipping.

  54. 54
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 8:56 PM

    i hate that Ad..
    I dont get the connection between the bad guy in Die Hard and UPS shipping.

  55. 55
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:06 PM

    I track hits on dirtysanchez.com to measure consumer confidence.
    A. Greenspan

  56. 56
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:06 PM

    I track hits on dirtysanchez.com to measure consumer confidence.
    A. Greenspan

  57. 57
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:06 PM

    I track hits on dirtysanchez.com to measure consumer confidence.
    A. Greenspan

  58. 58
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:06 PM

    I track hits on dirtysanchez.com to measure consumer confidence.
    A. Greenspan

  59. 59
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:07 PM

    Midtown JA is like getting your hair cut at a bad providence strip club where the strippers keep their clothes on and kind of know how to cut hair.
    Martial Vivot ftw

  60. 60
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:07 PM

    Midtown JA is like getting your hair cut at a bad providence strip club where the strippers keep their clothes on and kind of know how to cut hair.
    Martial Vivot ftw

  61. 61
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:09 PM

    @9, now you’re the ironic one. just stringing a bunch of “words” together one after another.
    “-8″

  62. 62
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:09 PM

    @9, now you’re the ironic one. just stringing a bunch of “words” together one after another.
    “-8″

  63. 63
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:09 PM

    @9, now you’re the ironic one. just stringing a bunch of “words” together one after another.
    “-8″

  64. 64
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:09 PM

    @9, now you’re the ironic one. just stringing a bunch of “words” together one after another.
    “-8″

  65. 65
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    God damn it. Leaving db comments on an iPhone sucks.
    -13

  66. 66
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    God damn it. Leaving db comments on an iPhone sucks.
    -13

  67. 67
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    God damn it. Leaving db comments on an iPhone sucks.
    -13

  68. 68
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:12 PM

    God damn it. Leaving db comments on an iPhone sucks.
    -13

  69. 69
    Posted by pfluger | December 17, 2009 at 9:20 PM

    @2:
    So I’m fired??! Like Gregg?
    And right before Christmas? You heartless SOB. CG is a friend-a-mine, and he will hear of this!

  70. 70
    Posted by pfluger | December 17, 2009 at 9:20 PM

    @2:
    So I’m fired??! Like Gregg?
    And right before Christmas? You heartless SOB. CG is a friend-a-mine, and he will hear of this!

  71. 71
    Posted by pfluger | December 17, 2009 at 9:20 PM

    @2:
    So I’m fired??! Like Gregg?
    And right before Christmas? You heartless SOB. CG is a friend-a-mine, and he will hear of this!

  72. 72
    Posted by pfluger | December 17, 2009 at 9:20 PM

    @2:
    So I’m fired??! Like Gregg?
    And right before Christmas? You heartless SOB. CG is a friend-a-mine, and he will hear of this!

  73. 73
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 9:31 PM

    “Nothing is fucked here, Dude. Come on, you’re being very un-Dude.”
    - Federal “the Dude” Express

  74. 74
    Posted by Leave Anal-yst Alone | December 17, 2009 at 4:39 PM

    and pick on that db, cluzo.

  75. 75
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 4:45 PM

    Well Greggums, the British have the same sentiment for your posts.

  76. 76
    Posted by NegativeConvexity | December 17, 2009 at 10:07 PM

    Shipping 3,000 gold-plated Fleshlights to 85 Broad does not consititute an economic recovery

  77. 77
    Posted by NegativeConvexity | December 17, 2009 at 5:07 PM

    Shipping 3,000 gold-plated Fleshlights to 85 Broad does not consititute an economic recovery

  78. 78
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 10:08 PM

    UPSucks

  79. 79
    Posted by guest | December 17, 2009 at 5:08 PM

    UPSucks

  80. 80
    Posted by NegativeConvexity | December 17, 2009 at 10:14 PM

    constitu.. ah fuck it….
    Golden showers in Stamford FTW!!

  81. 81
    Posted by NegativeConvexity | December 17, 2009 at 10:14 PM

    constitu.. ah fuck it….
    Golden showers in Stamford FTW!!

  82. 82
    Posted by cheap oem software | May 1, 2012 at 8:42 PM

    zbjmpG Say, you got a nice blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Great.

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