Archive for December 2009

  • 07 Dec 2009 at 5:13 PM

Citigroup And Government Not Seeing Eye To Eye On TARP Repayment

By Bess Levin

vikrampandit.jpgWhy (serious question) do they have to raise any capital at all? Isn’t the fact that they’re “the world’s most global bank in a world that becomes more global every day” good enough? Would a free coupon to Tickle a Vickle Town do the trick?

The disagreements are related to last week’s announcement by the Treasury Department that Bank of America Corp. won approval to repay its $45 billion in federal aid. The Charlotte, N.C., bank sold about $19 billion in common stock late Thursday as part of its repayment strategy.

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  • 07 Dec 2009 at 4:37 PM

Danielle Chiesi: The College Years

By Bess Levin

As previously mentioned, one of the unforeseen consequences of the Galleon insider trading bust was credibility taking a hit. Specifically that of the individuals who’d told their friends and colleagues that Danielle Chiesi was a dime piece, and who were slightly dismayed to see the picture of her from a Bridget Nielsen (Flavor Flav Years) look-a-like contest. Luckily, they were saved when Bloomberg reported Danielle Chiesi was in fact named Miss Southern Tier Teenager in 1981, with the photo of DC in a tiara following shortly thereafter to prove it. Today another pic has emerged, from the sorority files.

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  • 07 Dec 2009 at 3:13 PM

Dear Paulson, Citadel, SAC Capital, Tudor, Bridgewater Investors (Et Al)

By Bess Levin

kengriffinriskishwhatyoumakeofit2.pngNovember performance numbers are in.
Citadel Kensington Global Strategies Fund Ltd.:
November 2009: 0.50%
YTD: 57.89%

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  • 07 Dec 2009 at 12:44 PM

PIMCO Hires Neel Kashkari

By Bess Levin

neelkashkari2.jpgEarlier today we discussed Neel Kashkari’s weight problem (he’s determined to lose the 20 pounds he gained while working for the Treasury). We thought it seemed a bit extreme that he would, by his own admission, skip dinner many nights in order to reach his target, but now it’s all become clear. He’s on a deadline to look good in a bathing suit, having taken a gig with PIMCO in Newport Beach. Here’s the full letter from Bill Gross and and Mohamed El-Erian to clients (courtesty of a Dealbreaker Commenter):

December 7, 2009
To our valued clients:
As we come to the end of 2009, we would like to thank you for your continued confidence in PIMCO and share with you some thoughts on the future evolution of our firm.
Over the last couple of years, we have undertaken significant work on the emergence of what we have called the “new normal” for the global economy, and for financed-based economies in particular (including the US). We have also derived implications for our investment strategies, now and going forward.

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  • 07 Dec 2009 at 12:28 PM

Plebes Crowd John Paulson At NYU Alumni Function

By Bess Levin

Was at the Stern alumni ball Saturday with girlfriend who went there. John Paulson in attendance. (he donated the new lobby). The alum ahead of me in the “receiving line” handed him his card like a slick scumbag in desperation for business. Another said to him, “We used to go the same ATM!”

  • 07 Dec 2009 at 11:40 AM

What Do Tiger Woods And Lloyd Blankfein Have In Common?

By Bess Levin

blankfeinandtiger.png
The premise of this article is that both have run into PR debacles, as a result of their huge egos. But surely there must be more? So far we’ve got:
* Both leave shady voicemails for their bitches
* Both work for organizations that pride themselves on being bastions of elitism– one excludes Jews, the other promotes only Jews
* Both dismayed partners with public listing– Goldman on the NYSE, Tiger on AdultFriendFinder.com

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  • 07 Dec 2009 at 10:32 AM

Neel Kashkari Undermines Lloyd Blankfein

By Bess Levin

Apparently Neel Kashkari was not read in on the God at Goldman storyline.

“That’s the thing,” Kashkari blurts across the table. “I started praying when I came to Treasury. At Goldman, I didn’t pray. Not once. ‘Cause I just didn’t care. At Treasury, there were so many times.”

Earlier: Neel Kashkari Has A Message For Lloyd Blankfein: YOU LIE!

  • 07 Dec 2009 at 10:00 AM

Mountain Man Neel Kashkari Has Almost Lost All The Weight He Gained At The Treasury

By Bess Levin

neelkashkari.jpgAs previously mentioned, Neel Kashkari has been living in the woods since leaving the Treasury. Up in his secluded mountain cabin in California, Kashkari has been undergoing a four-step program of his own design called “Washington detox.” It involves building a shed, chopping wood, helping Hank Paulson with his book and losing 20 pounds. You might’ve thought that working 24 hours a day would’ve left the little guy gaunt and malnourished but au contraire– Kashkari packed on the lbs like it was his job, mostly by never having time to working out and dining on “family-size Cool Ranch Doritos.” And he’s determined to lose the weight not simply because he wants to fit into his old pants but because of what the fat around his waist represents– the most miserable year of his life. Yes, these are not just your average inches of flab. Each molecule of fat is a Congressman berating him on the hill. It’s him nearly having a heart attack while working on his first TARP report. It’s Paulson looking at him with eyes that say, “Maybe you should skip dessert tonight.” It’s a demon.

It’s personal, this — him vs. Washington. “It’s detox of a tough period,” Kashkari says later, wiping his forehead. “Through exercise like running, but exorcize is relevant, too.”

He’s been working hard, but he’s not there yet, and until he is, dinner is out.

Now, after six months of dieting and 45-mile alpine bike rides, the gym scale under Kashkari’s sneakers reads: 181.2. “No dinner tonight,” he grumbles.
“Are you detox’d yet?” A friend had messaged. Not until he weighs 180.

If it sounds like Kashkari’s being a little extremist with his diet, it’s just because he really, really doesn’t want to be compared to Larry Summers.

In Washington, Kashkari, about 5-foot-10, had ballooned — “I’m a stress eater” — to 203 pounds. His waistband cut into the folds of his stomach. His biceps felt like “bags of Jell-O.”…He’s put on classic stress-related weight under his chin.

But anyone can see Kashkari has made a lot of progress. Even his (prick?) former boss, whose book Kashkari is reliving the horror of last year in order to help edit, is noticing, and offering backhanded compliments.

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Opening Bell: 12.07.09

By Dealbreaker

Picture 59.pngTreasury Said to Link Citigroup Sale to TARP Payback (Bloomberg)
“This should be well thought-out for the benefit of all constituencies, and in this case that includes shareholders, the government and the taxpayers,” said Dennis Santiago. “Just because Bank of America goes doesn’t mean you have to rush Citigroup.”

Hedge funds alarmed at regulatory probes (FT)
“Given recent events and upcoming legislative changes, it’s very likely managers are going to face audits, due diligence questions and investigations, which will directly look for fraudulent or corrupt activities,” says Ellen Schubert, chief adviser to Deloitte’s asset management services group. “There is no bigger game-changer for a hedge fund than fraud. Firms that took years to build, have been wiped out in days.”

Scholarly Investments (NYT)
“If you’re at a hedge fund, [charter schools] are definitely the hot cause,” said Joe Williams, the executive director of Democrats for Education Reform.
The $700 Billion Man (Washington Post)
“Come on, you bums,” Neel Kashkari calls to his dogs, two giant Newfoundlands. “Boys, let’s go.”
Estimated TARP Cost Is Cut By $200 Billion (WSJ)
The Treasury now estimates that over the next 10 years TARP will cost $141 billion at most, down from the $341 billion the White House projected in August. The reduction stems in large part from faster-than-expected repayments by some of the nation’s largest banks, as well as less spending on programs to help shore up the financial sector.

John Paulson Returns To Earth (BW)
BusinessWeek asks: “Is John Paulson a one-megahit wonder?”
Merrill Bull Returns To Business Cards (WSJ)
Former Merrill Lynch investment bankers “won a major concession from Bank of America, as it agreed to reverse a decision preventing them from using the old Merrill bull logo on their business cards.” Losing the bull, which had been a part of Merrill Lynch’s marketing since 1974, was a blow to many Merrill Lynch staff, with one quoted at the time as saying, “Merrill without the bull is like Superman without a cape.” (photo-credit: efinancialnews.com).

  • 04 Dec 2009 at 5:00 PM

Write-Offs: 12.04.09

By Bess Levin

$$$ Goldman Sachs Will Pay For Ruining Ice Skating, Hot Chocolate, Christmas [Daily Intel]
$$$ Dick Fuld may be behind on his property taxes. [TDB]
$$$ Is Charlie Rangel a Closet NASCAR Fan? [GC]
$$$ ‘Gropenhagen‘: Free Sex Coupons Available at Climate Summit [cnbc]
$$$ Cocaine-stuffed chicken smuggled into US by Guatemalan man [BB]

  • 04 Dec 2009 at 4:40 PM

U.K. Says It Was Ready To Pour Taxpayer Money Into Banks Before It Was Needed

By John Shazar

gordonbrown.jpgThe British government is getting a much-needed from the country’s National Audit Office. It’s pissed off anyway.
The NAO concludes that “the Treasury was justified in using taxpayers’ money” and that “it is difficult to imagine the scale of the consequences for the economy and society if major banks have been allowed to collapse.” But it also suggests that the government’s had no clue about what it was doing less than a week before it did it.

Internal papers prepared by the Treasury suggested that RBS’ capital position was reasonably strong but noted that the bank was increasingly dependent on short-term wholesale funding. Less than a week later, however, the authorities unexpectedly found that RBS could no longer access the wholesale funds it needed.

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