And that something is simply this: YOU COULD’VE DIED LAST YEAR, AND YOU WOULD’VE IF IT WEREN’T FOR TG. He could’ve left you to die in fire, or on the side of the road, like dogs. The only reason you’re here today is because he’s a mensch. Got it? Got it real good? Now commit it to memory, bitches because the T. Geith does not appreciate having to repeat himself. HE HEARS YOU TELLING PEOPLE ONE MORE TIME– ONE MORE!– THAT YOU WOULD’VE SURVIVED LAST YEAR WITHOUT HIS HELP AND TG IS JUST GONNA SNAP.
Taking aim at what he called “an era of irresponsibly high bonuses,” Geithner said all banks — even those that have repaid government aid — need to restrain the amount they pay their leaders and tie compensation to long-term goals.
The Treasury chief also disputed claims made by Goldman Chief Executive Officer Lloyd Blankfein that his firm would have survived last year’s financial crisis without assistance from the federal government.
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Tragically unavailable in Japanese translationSo what do you do when one of your traders mistakenly sells ¥372 billion in shares for ¥1? Sue the stock exchange!
A court has ordered the Tokyo Stock Exchange to pay Mizuho Securities more than ¥10 billion because a technical glitch prevented Mizuho from cancelling the disastrous sale. Apparently, in Japan, the stock exchange is 70% responsible when you try to sell 610,000 shares of a company for ¥1 rather than one share for ¥610,000.
Mizuho said its total losses from the screw-up were ¥40.7 billion. The Tokyo exchange is considering an appeal.
Tokyo bourse ordered to pay Mizuho $121M damages [AP via Google]
From a candidate:
How about a shout-out for those of us who are sleep deprived and freaking out about tomorrow? something to cheer us up and forget that we paid over $1k for this test that (according to all estimates) most of us will probably fail. Something special, because we need it. Give us hope, something to look forward to, that’s all we really want. I know it’s only level 1, which screams ‘n00b’. I mean, if it was any more of a joke it’d be the Series 7, right? But even ‘n00bz’ need encouragement.
You’re all going to do great! And if you don’t, it’s not like this shit matters. Plus, we’ll be throwing a special pity party for the failures, so there’s that to look forward to. And because I know some of you are sensitive:
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So I just got back from the courthouse and I brought with me Andrew Tong’s psychiatric evaluation, which goes into a little more detail than the filing posted earlier. For instance, what was the object inserted in Tong’s ass by Jiang? Whiteboard marker. What else was Jiang doing to him at the time? Choking him. Why was PJ doing all this? Andrew had come to him and said he was no longer able to get an erection, on account of the birth control pills (his wife’s) that he was taking. So Jiang wanted to demonstrate to Andrew that he could, in fact, get wood (which he did during that particular instance). Before Jiang peed in Tong’s mouth, did he slap Tong around a little bit? Yes. How did the first blow job for trade approval go? Not too well. Tong ended up getting physically ill halfway through. Ping let him stop, however, “Mr. Jiang did not allow the trade as the requested fellatio was not completed” (this is not ‘Nam, there are rules). A few weeks later, Tong “agreed to perform fellatio to Mr. Jiang’s satisfaction. Mr. Jiang then allowed Mr. Tong’s trade to go through.”
On another note: in all seriousness, reading through all this, I actually feel bad for SAC and Steve. This does not come off as workplace sexual harassment but rather a workplace affair between two aberrant fetishists, playing out their S&M/water-sports fantasies, which, unfortunately for SAC, took place at the office. As someone pointed out early, nobody pisses in your mouth without your complicity.
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Performance for David Tepper’s Appaloosa Management (excuse the watermark. The dear friend who sent it had to remove the original one so as not to incriminate himself and replaced it with something else):
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Here at Dealbreaker, we considered going all-SAC, all-the-time today. There’s nothing we like better than to dissect, parse and analyze salacious and possibly totally unfounded allegations, even at the risk of making the Big Guy mad.
But there’s other stuff going on, boring though it might be. Jobs figures, for instance, which always seem to send everyone into a frenzy.
Especially when it’s “good” news. To wit: Employers canned just 11,000 people last month, less than one-tenth the number expected and fewer than in any month since 2007, when we still had an economy. Even better news: A handful of the unemployed have just given up looking for work, helping nudge the unemployment figure down two-tenths of a percent to 10%. Those of us suckers who are actually working about 12 minutes more per week, too! Bully!
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That (alleged) Ping Jiang stuff will not fly in the city-state.
SAC Capital grows in Asia with Singapore office [Reuters]
It feels like it’s been forever (real time: two years) since the SAC Capital female hormone case, doesn’t it? For those of you who shamefully forget, back in the fall of 2007, a former employee of the hedge fund, Andrew Tong, alleged that his boss, portfolio manager Ping Jiang, had forced him to take female hormone pills as part of a slightly unorthodox philosophy of Jiang’s that male traders needed to be more like women (not as aggressive, etc) in order to maximize returns. Tong also alleged that he was instructed by Jiang to wear dresses, and as a result of the pills, could not perform sexually with his wife, with whom he was trying to have a baby. Unfortunately, at the time, those were all the details we got. The court filings were sealed, and in early 2008, Jiang was fired (but not because of the tranny stuff! Because he didn’t make as much money as the year before, natch). Today, by way of a story by the always awesome reporter Matt Goldstein, we find out a bit more. Goldstein’s article is about the “most feared man on Wall Street,” if you do stuff like insider trade. He’s the guy leading the Galleon investigation for the FBI, and obviously his name is BJ Kang, because how could it not be?
According to Goldstein, court documents and sources indicate that BJ may be “focusing” on SAC next (as previously mentioned, one of the cooperating witnesses in the Galleon case, Choo Beng Lee, worked at the fund for a couple of years). And this isn’t the first time The Beej and SAC have crossed paths. In 2006, BJ was part of the team looking into alleged accounting irregularities at Fairfax Financial, and in 2007, BJ was tasked with looking into “a previously undisclosed investigation involving alleged trading irregularities” at SAC, opened by federal prosecutors in Brooklyn (which was later closed). One person BJ interviewed while checking things out? The lovely Andrew Tong. And speaking of the lady of the hour– litigation on TrannyGate ended last year, and the previously sealed court documents have been opened. Shall we take a peek inside? If we’re up to get down with some slightly disturbing shit, yes! For instance, thongs:
And pet-names:
And the obligatory sodomy sessions, golden showers:
“You’ll have to give me a blow job if you want to make that trade.”
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When you owe the government so much money that they are basically calling the shots, it’s not a good idea to be on their bad side. Hell may have furies worse than Tim Geithner scorned, but the little guy’s ankle-biting was bad enough for Ken Lewis & Co. So the august wise men of Charlotte got together and came up with a new plan:
Kiss more ass.
In late August and early September, the bank made a decision to be more aggressive, hoping to reverse its luck.
On Sept. 11, Mr. Lewis met with Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner and talked about the bank’s desire to repay TARP, according to people familiar with the meeting. Mr. Geithner made it clear that the bank would need to raise new capital to get out.
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Goldman bonuses to be in shares amid effort to quell public anger (FT)
They’re mulling over the idea but if any haters like it, please speak up: “Senior executives including Mr Blankfein could be awarded all their annual bonus in company stock, people familiar with the bank’s thinking said. Many of its 31,700 staff may also receive more of their pay in shares.”
Rajaratnam Investigated A Decade Ago (WSJ)
Prosecutors, however, were unable to prove their suspicions, which centered on information stolen from chip maker Intel Corp., according to legal filings.
BofA Prices Securities as TARP Exit Starts (WSJ)
The board will meet Tuesday to discuss CEO candidates.
Citigroup Said to Need Treasury Stake Sale Before TARP Payment (Bloomberg)
“The ball is in the government’s court,” said Chris Kotowski, an analyst at Oppenheimer & Co. in New York, who has a “market perform” rating on the bank’s shares. “It’s not Citibank’s decision to sell them or not sell them.”
GM to Reassign Lutz, Others in Management Shakeup (WSJ)
“[Whitacre] really really strongly thinks we need to get younger people in key personnel positions,” a person briefed on the plans said. And then maybe someone will buy their cars?
SAC Capital Opens New Office (Reuters)
Two portfolio managers will be working out of Singapore.
Switzerland’s 300 Richest Lose $10 Billion in 2009 (AP)
Luckily they still have $449 billion to put toward Toblerone bars, according to a report published today.
