Ping Jiang: Stickler For The BJ Rules

lookhowthicktheyare.jpgSo I just got back from the courthouse and I brought with me Andrew Tong’s psychiatric evaluation, which goes into a little more detail than the filing posted earlier. For instance, what was the object inserted in Tong’s ass by Jiang? Whiteboard marker. What else was Jiang doing to him at the time? Choking him. Why was PJ doing all this? Andrew had come to him and said he was no longer able to get an erection, on account of the birth control pills (his wife’s) that he was taking. So Jiang wanted to demonstrate to Andrew that he could, in fact, get wood (which he did during that particular instance). Before Jiang peed in Tong’s mouth, did he slap Tong around a little bit? Yes. How did the first blow job for trade approval go? Not too well. Tong ended up getting physically ill halfway through. Ping let him stop, however, “Mr. Jiang did not allow the trade as the requested fellatio was not completed.” A few weeks later, Tong “agreed to perform fellatio to Mr. Jiang’s satisfaction. Mr. Jiang then allowed Mr. Tong’s trade to go through.”

Deal Breaker Andrew Tong Psych Report

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61 Responses to “Ping Jiang: Stickler For The BJ Rules”

  1. american bandersnatch says:

    I hope they cleaned the marker properly after they were finished with it. I expect my co-workers to display a reasonable amount of consideration for others.

  2. guest says:

    Bess, reave me arone
    – ping

  3. guest says:

    whiteboards for the win!
    -keith moss

  4. guest says:

    @ 2 = racist.
    – Donna Chang

  5. guest says:

    Oooooooh, urine trouble…….

  6. guest says:

    Word is Jiang now has his eyes set on Jeffery Chiang. Rawwwwr!

  7. wcburrs87 says:

    Courtney Simpson is not impressed by all of this.

  8. guest says:

    @6 – Ping aready had his way with me. ROR!

  9. highlyconfident says:

    What a sicko.
    -Max Hardcore

  10. guest says:

    It’s as if I’ve died and woke up in heaven.
    -Buffalo Bill

  11. guest says:

    let me point this one thing. white guys DO NOT piss in each others mouths

  12. guest says:

    ho. lee. Shit.

  13. guest says:

    these fuckin guys.

  14. guest says:

    I am studying for the ethics portion of my CFA exam…do these acts constitute an offense that will automatically mean lsoing one’s CFA charter or just censure?

  15. guest says:

    @3 very nice

  16. NakedShort says:

    Boy cock, girl cock, E-I-E-I-O!

  17. pfluger says:

    Ping J:
    Hey pal, its me, Chaz! How’s it hangin? Been a long time.
    Anyway, about dat job dat you and I were tawkin’ about…. Since it didn’t work out between you and dat squealin’ (if you know what I mean) punk, maybe you’d still be interested in hiring me? I don’t fuckin’ squeal, in any sense of da word.
    I think I’d be perfect for da vacant position! I’ll even bring my own markers!!

  18. guest says:

    Remember, Tuesday is Rusty Trombone Day. So don’t forget the Tic Tacs boys.

  19. mrpink says:

    Bess…. I love you.

  20. Over/Under says:

    Clusterstock to rip off Bess in T-minus 3, 2, 1 . . .
    Over under here = 3:45 PM eastern

  21. guest says:

    A psyc eval of Ping would have been MUCH more awesome.

  22. guest says:

    These office hijinks always seem to come to a bad ending when they cross the line into sodomy

  23. guest says:

    @21 ingrate.

  24. guest says:

    Sad, sad, very sad. Poor man.

  25. pfluger says:

    Da otha day, I wuz gettin’ pumped in da gym. Da usual crowd of admirers was standin’ around me, watching enviously as I punished by massive pecs on da bench press.
    Anyway, when I was on my third set, pushing 350 lbs, I was really grunting. I had my eyes closed and my mouth open, when all of a sudden, ARS pissed into it.
    It was ok, but I was not complicit in dat act.

  26. guest says:

    Did he use a black marker because it is longer and thicker than a yellow marker?

  27. guest says:

    Markers are for pussies. Real men use parking cones.
    Lloyd B’fein

  28. guest says:

    It’s called an “Alternative Investment” for a reason!

  29. guest says:

    If the price of a trade was a BJ, how much was lunch? Anal? Enquiring minds gots to know.

  30. Subprime All Star says:

    I make it rain.
    -P. Jiang

  31. guest says:

    I just hope they practiced safe sex and left the cap on.
    Dr. Ruth

  32. guest says:

    I think Jiang actually did this guy a favor by revealing to him the closet he’s been living in his whole life.

  33. Tiger Woods says:

    This has given me some good ideas for my next Vegas trip.

  34. guest says:

    @34 too soon.

  35. guest says:

    And I tried to kill myself for what I did?
    Marcus Schrenker

  36. Outraged in NY says:

    This is just the sort of fellatious antics I fought to clean up and hope to continue as Senator from NY.
    E. Spitzer

  37. guest says:

    I autofellate every time I want to make a trade. Every. Single. Time. And if I can’t cum, I punish myself and I don’t hit the bid.
    -Day Trader

  38. pfluger says:

    @39/Day Trader:
    Cawl me. Cawl me right away! I’d like to make you an official friend-a-mine.

  39. Anal_yst says:

    This is a (set of) move(s) right out of the Max Hardcore Official Playbook, assuming of course he made sure to stretch/gape the hole whilst p*ssing into it and such, but now I’m just nitpicking.

  40. guest says:

    OK, no riddle me this….why the hell didn’t Cohen’s asshole lawyers not pay this freak to go away (and then kill Ping and dump him in the Sound). No! Arrogant asses decide having this all over the internet is something better than paying a few million. Idiots! Cohen’s probably interviewing PR firms (for millions!) to try and put the shit back in the horse…..

  41. guest says:

    42, fishing with bait like that, you won’t catch anything.

  42. guest says:

    @44 – If she gets a tramp stamp that says “Enter Here”, I am rubbing one out on the spot. Who am I kidding. I am rubbing one out over this.
    Warren B

  43. guest says:

    Here’s my pop psychology analysis: the guy’s been a homo ever since his parents pulled him from school for being bullied– but this is a non sequitur. He gets a job at SAC, but he fails to perform and even makes some loser trades that he needs to cover up. Ergo this whole psychotic obfuscation. This story has Peter Young, Morgan Grenfell, written all over it. If you want to avoid conviction of loser trades, be a lady.

  44. guest says:

    @46 = psychoanalyst. help me examine my motives.

  45. guest says:

    Golden Rain!
    Some stay dry and others feel the pain!
    **I move away from the mic to breathe in
    Golden Rain!

  46. guest says:

    SAC can probably settle this for $20mm.

  47. guest says:

    @49-try and keep up. litigation already ended and tong didn’t get a dime.

  48. Finnegan says:

    If you are Cohen, how do you not decide to do a house cleaning of personnel, furniture and location?
    How do you even get any work done knowing that Tong and Jiang have touched things.
    I’d have to sell the whole building, or move the company to places where people don’t like markers in their derriere. Maybe Minnesota. Or hire all women.

  49. guest says:

    @50, wow, nice job by SAC’s lawyers

  50. guest says:

    @52 No doubt, but the case itself has obvious problems.
    (a) AT didn’t complain –to anyone except Ping– until after he was fired.
    (2) Most of the stuff he complained about (insults, taunts) may have been part of the normal atmosphere at SAC. Prove that it wasn’t.
    (d) The “quid pro quo” allegations are strictly AT’s word against PJ’s. AT’s own account makes it seem like PJ let up when AT asked him to.

  51. guest says:

    “Damn, these dry erase markers smell like ass…”
    -SAC Employee

  52. guest says:

    @50 Nussbaum doesn’t fuck around

  53. guest says:

    @31 ftw lol

  54. guest says:

    Two years later, even with the court records unsealed, I just feel like, gosh, I don’t quite understand what happened.
    Could someone maybe re-enact the whole thing as a photo essay with action figures, please?

  55. S. Cohen says:


    ~S. Cohen

  56. Udayp says:

    Dr. Ping Jiang, One of the world’s foremost macro traders on Opalesque TV, Ping recounts surviving the “Lehman trap” after launching the Ping Exceptional Value Fund in 2008, and how he managed to return 193% (unleveraged) in 2009.

  57. here in the eHarbor Blog. I hope to keep share more constructive stories soon on eHarbor, Inc. and its affiliates: Magellan Commerce, Real Estate Promoter and Submit

  58. Edren says:

    Posted on You know, I can see that painted (or sort of tea-stained) a sepia color ,so that it looks relaly old. Maybe even with the actual table painted too. I like it! It has,um personality.