• 04 Dec 2009 at 1:54 PM

Ping Jiang: Stickler For The BJ Rules

lookhowthicktheyare.jpgSo I just got back from the courthouse and I brought with me Andrew Tong’s psychiatric evaluation, which goes into a little more detail than the filing posted earlier. For instance, what was the object inserted in Tong’s ass by Jiang? Whiteboard marker. What else was Jiang doing to him at the time? Choking him. Why was PJ doing all this? Andrew had come to him and said he was no longer able to get an erection, on account of the birth control pills (his wife’s) that he was taking. So Jiang wanted to demonstrate to Andrew that he could, in fact, get wood (which he did during that particular instance). Before Jiang peed in Tong’s mouth, did he slap Tong around a little bit? Yes. How did the first blow job for trade approval go? Not too well. Tong ended up getting physically ill halfway through. Ping let him stop, however, “Mr. Jiang did not allow the trade as the requested fellatio was not completed” (this is not ‘Nam, there are rules). A few weeks later, Tong “agreed to perform fellatio to Mr. Jiang’s satisfaction. Mr. Jiang then allowed Mr. Tong’s trade to go through.”
On another note: in all seriousness, reading through all this, I actually feel bad for SAC and Steve. This does not come off as workplace sexual harassment but rather a workplace affair between two aberrant fetishists, playing out their S&M/water-sports fantasies, which, unfortunately for SAC, took place at the office. As someone pointed out early, nobody pisses in your mouth without your complicity.


Deal Breaker Andrew Tong Psych Report

61 comments (hidden to protect delicate sensibilities)
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Comments (61)

  1. Posted by american bandersnatch | December 4, 2009 at 1:57 PM

    I hope they cleaned the marker properly after they were finished with it. I expect my co-workers to display a reasonable amount of consideration for others.

  2. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 1:57 PM

    Bess, reave me arone
    - ping

  3. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 1:58 PM

    whiteboards for the win!
    -keith moss

  4. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:00 PM

    @ 2 = racist.
    - Donna Chang

  5. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:01 PM

    Oooooooh, urine trouble…….

  6. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:02 PM

    Word is Jiang now has his eyes set on Jeffery Chiang. Rawwwwr!

  7. Posted by wcburrs87 | December 4, 2009 at 2:05 PM

    Courtney Simpson is not impressed by all of this.

  8. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:05 PM

    @6 – Ping aready had his way with me. ROR!
    -JC

  9. Posted by highlyconfident | December 4, 2009 at 2:10 PM

    What a sicko.
    -Max Hardcore

  10. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:12 PM

    It’s as if I’ve died and woke up in heaven.
    -Buffalo Bill

  11. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:12 PM

    let me point this one thing. white guys DO NOT piss in each others mouths

  12. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:14 PM

    ho. lee. Shit.

  13. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:20 PM

    these fuckin guys.
    -SAC

  14. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:20 PM

    I am studying for the ethics portion of my CFA exam…do these acts constitute an offense that will automatically mean lsoing one’s CFA charter or just censure?

  15. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:31 PM

    @3 very nice

  16. Posted by NakedShort | December 4, 2009 at 2:32 PM

    Boy cock, girl cock, E-I-E-I-O!

  17. Posted by pfluger | December 4, 2009 at 2:35 PM

    Ping J:
    Hey pal, its me, Chaz! How’s it hangin? Been a long time.
    Anyway, about dat job dat you and I were tawkin’ about…. Since it didn’t work out between you and dat squealin’ (if you know what I mean) punk, maybe you’d still be interested in hiring me? I don’t fuckin’ squeal, in any sense of da word.
    I think I’d be perfect for da vacant position! I’ll even bring my own markers!!
    -cg

  18. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:36 PM

    Remember, Tuesday is Rusty Trombone Day. So don’t forget the Tic Tacs boys.
    S.C.

  19. Posted by mrpink | December 4, 2009 at 2:36 PM

    Bess…. I love you.
    -mrp

  20. Posted by Over/Under | December 4, 2009 at 2:38 PM

    Clusterstock to rip off Bess in T-minus 3, 2, 1 . . .
    Over under here = 3:45 PM eastern

  21. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:41 PM

    A psyc eval of Ping would have been MUCH more awesome.

  22. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:43 PM

    These office hijinks always seem to come to a bad ending when they cross the line into sodomy

  23. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:44 PM

    @21 ingrate.

  24. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:45 PM

    Sad, sad, very sad. Poor man.

  25. Posted by pfluger | December 4, 2009 at 2:48 PM

    Da otha day, I wuz gettin’ pumped in da gym. Da usual crowd of admirers was standin’ around me, watching enviously as I punished by massive pecs on da bench press.
    Anyway, when I was on my third set, pushing 350 lbs, I was really grunting. I had my eyes closed and my mouth open, when all of a sudden, ARS pissed into it.
    It was ok, but I was not complicit in dat act.
    -cg

  26. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 2:53 PM

    Did he use a black marker because it is longer and thicker than a yellow marker?
    Shaq

  27. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 3:00 PM

    Markers are for pussies. Real men use parking cones.
    Lloyd B’fein

  28. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 3:01 PM

    It’s called an “Alternative Investment” for a reason!
    -PTJ

  29. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 3:05 PM

    If the price of a trade was a BJ, how much was lunch? Anal? Enquiring minds gots to know.

  30. Posted by Subprime All Star | December 4, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    I make it rain.
    -P. Jiang

  31. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 3:10 PM

    I just hope they practiced safe sex and left the cap on.
    Dr. Ruth

  32. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 3:15 PM

    I think Jiang actually did this guy a favor by revealing to him the closet he’s been living in his whole life.

  33. Posted by Tiger Woods | December 4, 2009 at 3:15 PM

    This has given me some good ideas for my next Vegas trip.

  34. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 3:22 PM

    @34 too soon.

  35. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 3:34 PM

    And I tried to kill myself for what I did?
    Marcus Schrenker

  36. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 3:41 PM
  37. Posted by Outraged in NY | December 4, 2009 at 3:42 PM

    This is just the sort of fellatious antics I fought to clean up and hope to continue as Senator from NY.
    E. Spitzer

  38. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 3:48 PM

    I autofellate every time I want to make a trade. Every. Single. Time. And if I can’t cum, I punish myself and I don’t hit the bid.
    -Day Trader

  39. Posted by pfluger | December 4, 2009 at 3:54 PM

    @39/Day Trader:
    Cawl me. Cawl me right away! I’d like to make you an official friend-a-mine.
    -cg

  40. Posted by Anal_yst | December 4, 2009 at 5:02 PM

    @HighlyConfident
    This is a (set of) move(s) right out of the Max Hardcore Official Playbook, assuming of course he made sure to stretch/gape the hole whilst p*ssing into it and such, but now I’m just nitpicking.

  41. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 5:10 PM

    OK, no riddle me this….why the hell didn’t Cohen’s asshole lawyers not pay this freak to go away (and then kill Ping and dump him in the Sound). No! Arrogant asses decide having this all over the internet is something better than paying a few million. Idiots! Cohen’s probably interviewing PR firms (for millions!) to try and put the shit back in the horse…..

  42. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 5:26 PM

    42, fishing with bait like that, you won’t catch anything.

  43. Posted by Anal_yst | December 4, 2009 at 5:47 PM
  44. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 6:43 PM

    @44 – If she gets a tramp stamp that says “Enter Here”, I am rubbing one out on the spot. Who am I kidding. I am rubbing one out over this.
    Warren B

  45. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 8:02 PM

    Here’s my pop psychology analysis: the guy’s been a homo ever since his parents pulled him from school for being bullied– but this is a non sequitur. He gets a job at SAC, but he fails to perform and even makes some loser trades that he needs to cover up. Ergo this whole psychotic obfuscation. This story has Peter Young, Morgan Grenfell, written all over it. If you want to avoid conviction of loser trades, be a lady.

  46. Posted by guest | December 4, 2009 at 9:18 PM

    @46 = psychoanalyst. help me examine my motives.

  47. Posted by guest | December 5, 2009 at 1:04 PM

    Golden Rain!
    Some stay dry and others feel the pain!
    **I move away from the mic to breathe in
    Golden Rain!

  48. Posted by guest | December 5, 2009 at 2:04 PM

    SAC can probably settle this for $20mm.

  49. Posted by guest | December 5, 2009 at 6:11 PM

    @49-try and keep up. litigation already ended and tong didn’t get a dime.

  50. Posted by Finnegan | December 6, 2009 at 2:56 AM

    If you are Cohen, how do you not decide to do a house cleaning of personnel, furniture and location?
    How do you even get any work done knowing that Tong and Jiang have touched things.
    I’d have to sell the whole building, or move the company to places where people don’t like markers in their derriere. Maybe Minnesota. Or hire all women.

  51. Posted by guest | December 6, 2009 at 6:44 PM

    @50, wow, nice job by SAC’s lawyers

  52. Posted by guest | December 6, 2009 at 8:12 PM

    @52 No doubt, but the case itself has obvious problems.
    (a) AT didn’t complain –to anyone except Ping– until after he was fired.
    (2) Most of the stuff he complained about (insults, taunts) may have been part of the normal atmosphere at SAC. Prove that it wasn’t.
    (d) The “quid pro quo” allegations are strictly AT’s word against PJ’s. AT’s own account makes it seem like PJ let up when AT asked him to.

  53. Posted by guest | December 7, 2009 at 9:06 PM

    “Damn, these dry erase markers smell like ass…”
    -SAC Employee

  54. Posted by guest | December 10, 2009 at 10:14 AM

    @50 Nussbaum doesn’t fuck around

  55. Posted by guest | December 10, 2009 at 10:35 AM

    @31 ftw lol

  56. Posted by guest | December 11, 2009 at 1:01 PM

    Two years later, even with the court records unsealed, I just feel like, gosh, I don’t quite understand what happened.
    Could someone maybe re-enact the whole thing as a photo essay with action figures, please?
    kthnx

  57. Posted by S. Cohen | May 11, 2010 at 3:48 PM

    HEY! WHY’S THERE A PIECE OF CORN STUCK ON THE END OF THIS MARKER!?!? HUH? HUH? ANYBODY? I WANT ANSWERS!!!

    ~S. Cohen

  58. Posted by Udayp | October 14, 2010 at 12:59 PM

    Dr. Ping Jiang, One of the world’s foremost macro traders on Opalesque TV, Ping recounts surviving the “Lehman trap” after launching the Ping Exceptional Value Fund in 2008, and how he managed to return 193% (unleveraged) in 2009.
    http://www.opalesque.tv/youtube/Ping/1

  59. Posted by Elijah Gasbarro | September 19, 2012 at 8:04 PM

    here in the eHarbor Blog. I hope to keep share more constructive stories soon on eHarbor, Inc. and its affiliates: Magellan Commerce, Real Estate Promoter and Submit

  60. Posted by Edren | September 28, 2012 at 8:17 AM

    Posted on You know, I can see that painted (or sort of tea-stained) a sepia color ,so that it looks relaly old. Maybe even with the actual table painted too. I like it! It has,um personality.

  61. Posted by pjlvuytn | September 29, 2012 at 10:48 PM

    a6sdRs hiuuziugvspp