Well, this is disappointing. Apparently way back in the day, before she did a pro golfer (and possibly supplied him with his other ladies) Rachel Uchitel was a producer for Bloomberg TV. She then went out to join the nightlife industry, and peddle puss on the side (her own and others) but just think! If things had gone differently she (and her t’s) could’ve been in your face, reporting on the crisis, alongside Margaret Brennan. So what we’re thinking is this: since Bloomberg has already gone official with its Breast Offensive, why not offer Uchitel an on-air gig? She presumably won’t come too cheap, but this could be what it takes to finally beat out CNBC in the Cleave Wars. Personally I think the idea is pretty genius but because you people are the ones who’ll have to tune in and make it work, and Rachel may not be your cup of tea, before Bloomberg makes an official offer, let’s first decide which Woods mistress you want on your screen.
are they real?
bess = genius
Ashley who??
Those tits (will) never get old.
She financed them through insider trading, I don’t want her.
-SEC Intern
Which one is the Perkins waitress from Orlando? She turned this story from standard into f’in weird. What a script.
Handbridge…not needed.
http://i44.tinypic.com/11kfp1f.jpg
@3 um, I have a columnist gig with the Post. bite me.
-AD
BESS- i grew up with her, she is a nice girl gone astray. Frankly you cant know how sad it was for her to lose her fiancee,
and like you owuld say NO to a ride on SC’s “zamboni.”
This post is frankly something I would expect on TMZ. Lets not sink this low…
@7 yeah, but they’re fake. big chemical balls.
Now if she only had an Austrailian accent . . .
She turns right… but the tits stay still… amazing!
what is she packing in the left? a dime bag?
@9 – I think a reasonable person could say that she’s put herself (herselves?) out there, and is now fair game for public commentary.
@ 10
If you can see/feel them, then they’re not fake.
7.
@9 = Rachel Uchitel
@9 tell us more. apparently you underestimate what ghoulish douchebags we all are (and you misread Bess’s humanitarian intent, but she’s perfectly capable of defending herself without any help from me).
@9 Gone astray? Judgmental. Examine your motives.
@9 “VIP Services – Nightlife”
2nd @18.
@9 wait, are you serious? this is a typical DB post. and how is bess hurting Uchitel here? and I think bess has made it pretty clear herself that she would love a ride on the zamboni machine.
‘ey Bessar, ‘ow big ‘er yer brists, luv?
AD
@7…you are my brother, and beautiful, fake brists are the wind beneath my wings. **splash**
I’m on a boat…
I am not Canadian.
Is it wrong if I make a collage of all of the broads Tiger tapped and laminate my totem pole to it?
-Spitzy
Mindy Lawton was NOT the move.
Who’s banged more white women: Wilt Chamberlain or Tiger?
It moved, is still moving, and now is dancing.
Heard he knocked up the Olsen twins.
#28- Charles Barkley.
As they say in Vietnam, “me love you long time”.
Hot damn, she’s good looking.
@9 hahahahahahahahahahahaha
….have a terrible xmas.
-TMZ
Breaking News: “New reports have claimed that Tiger Wood’s infidelities are possibly attributing to global warming”
-Rachel “No guy would ever stick it in because I am 6x more evil/ugly than the lochness monster” Maddow
@9 – Don’t feel sad for her, feel sad for Accenture’s chief marketing officer. He had a great gig going up until two weeks ago, somewhat similar to the chief due diligence officer at Fairfield Greenwich.
i guess what i mean to say is- She is a nice girl who frankly is messed up, you dont have to jump on the band wagon. Its not even pertinent to finance.
I bring up Obama when that has remote relevance to a post and the who place comes crashing down on me. How does this gossip crap have anything to do finance or business.
I juts feel there are more important things to poke fun at. Like Obama giving himself a B+ for his first year….
@33 i am jewish go fuck your dad
-9
9=Jew
@36 take your politics elsewhere you limousine liberal crybaby.
@37 – for the grade 6 school yard comeback of the day win.
@15 True Point
D cup
Fabulous print Bess. She should be the markets reporter. You know she’ll get great inside line that Pasani always misses.
@9 (and presumably @36):
“she is a nice girl who frankly is messed up”
Let me translate:
She’s a slut/whore despite her parents’ best attempts at instilling some semblance of ethics, integrity, etc.
I wanna see yours before I decide.
@9 – re 37, it figures.
I can recall her very sad and heartbreaking picture being splashed around the world soon after 9/11,as she waited outside the Armory for news on her boyfriend.She was very blonde back then.
Her left one looks a little off – it droops a little.
@36: Are you Tiger’s 20th hooker-friend?
@44 who are you addressing?
@36 there were plenty of posts on that obama story yesterday. also, is this really the site you want to wage your war on? db has done maybe 2 posts on Tiger Woods. take your whines elsewhere (clusterf*ck)
@43/ Anal – the word you are looking for is slore.
C’mon guys, a little compassion.
http://wwwimage.cbsnews.com/images/2009/12/01/image5850191.jpg
Grief and stress makes people do stupid shit. This could be your girlfriend/fiance/wife some day.
-Not 9/36
Can we go back in time before Jamie Jungers started frequenting Golden Corral? Cause she was real cute back then.
@50 does show that she looks much better as a brunette with implants.
@Anal_yst why the hate for the slores? If you keep judging the slores then we won’t have anyone to play intern and MD with when we need some strange!
@50 – that was 8 years ago. If she went on a bender and slept around for the next year, I would understand and cut her some slack. But 8 years of fucking other women’s men?! No. She is an attention whore. If that bothers her, she shouldn’t have jumped into bed with every dick, harry, and john that walked through the door.
Many people lost loved ones that day and they didn’t turn into cum swilling whores. 9/11 is not an excuse for her tawdry behavior.
Hey tiger,
How do you get all those hot women without paying for them.
E Spitzer
Playing the “9/11 card” eh?
Both she and a married man named Tiger allegedly agreed to hook up in some way and she got caught as did Tiger. Bad press ensued. Bad behavior comes with all sorts of excuses and spin but at the end of the day it is still bad behavior.
well known fact that she blew apart dylan ratigan’s engagement shortly after he left bloomberg
Who is this “Dylan Ratigan” person you all refer to from time to time?
~TV Ratings Analyst
Apparently her dad had a little problem with cocaine. Like it killed him. Not sure what ethics/integrity he was able to instill in her before that.
A slore can be genuinely grief-stricken by events. It does not make her not a slore in the end. Bad things happen to good and bad people alike.
Are (is) Julie and Theresa one and the same or are they a homewrecking team?
@50
For my thoughts on “compassion” please see @Tax Chick’s response @53. I’ll even go so far as to extend the allowable grief bender for 2, maybe even 3 years, but 8 years later, to be a gold-digging attention slore? She’s hot, there’s plenty of good guys out there that she coulda had a functional relationship with, but noooo…
@Bulging Bracket
Trust me, no one appreciates slores like I do, just pointing out that we should call a spade a spade.
The stress of 9/11 caused me to commit un-Christian acts of sexual depravity. That, plus the fact that I’m a jew and my wife is goyem.
But, I will re-establish my career and rehabilitate my image as Comptroller. I will be President one day. It will be glorious.
- Steamroller 9
Anybody else vote for Mandy (Mindy?) Lawton out of pity? I just feared that otherwise nobody would vote for her (given her odious appearance) and I didn’t want her feelings to be hurt.
@58
Coke’s a helluva drug.
Sounds like just another spoiled, affected trust fund brat to me, but who am I to judge, I mean I stop banging girls once they get married (engaged, totally ok though, right? right?)
@63 Anal:
Absolutely. You are fine banging betrothed chicks, right up until the moment the rings are exchanged.
What’s the deal with these call girls and Aviators. Rayban endorsement deal?
@65 they look hot in them?
Elin wasn’t into taking Tiger’s wood up her hiney. So, uh, Rachel….
@67 can you leave a comment that makes sense? and refrain from use of the term ‘hiney’? fag.
@68 Hi Rachel, welcome to DB!
@ 54
Elliott,
To your dismay, I am popular in the entire Globe, not just in NYS. Hence, beetches find me somewhat more mystifying. I am also of African descent (not Jewish) and for that reason alone, 10x more desirable that your bold self (remember, we’re talking pleasure here, not marriage nor intelectual capital sharin in our living room sofa).
Additionally, let me remind you that you aren’t a billionaire, despite your inheritance from your parents….you jealous silverspoon fed lil pencil neck you!!!
Stil gots mad luv 4 ya though. Your game deserves respect too. Happy Hannukah yo!!!
Tiger
@68 the comment does make sense. I am not @67.
@58 Her grandparents evidently owned El Morrocco, which was the hot place way back in the days when Mickey Mantle was new on the NY bar scene.
Grandad in the speakeasy biz + dad dead of an o/d + job as a “VIP hostess” = not some innocent just-off-the-farm-in-Iowa type who got taken advantage of by the celeb. She knows publicity.
It’s the old classic “banker meets girl, girl gets used to lavish lifestyle, banker dies tragically, girl can no longer afford lavish lifestyle, girl buys a nice set of tatas and peddles her puss, girl can once again afford lavish lifestyle and is on a m’fin boat, tiger meets girl”
67′s comments most likely have a ring of truth. Let’s talk about takin’ care of your man. As Dave Chappelle so aptly put it ‘suck his dick, make him a sandwich once in a while and don’t talk so damn much’. Ok, that may be a little much, but honestly it’s not that far away from what most men want. And there you have Elin, blond blue eyed hottie that someone (a well known golfer) has had enough of. Don’t forget to rub the balls ladies.
Looking at the @50 photo – Did she get a nose job also? And boys those tits are biger then D more like a 34 EE.
Is she were still at Bloomberg, would she have to pay a higher tax rate on the $5mm bonus?
YOU NEED TO HAVE SUCH EXOTIC PICS OF ALL THOSE DAMN MISTRESSES IN HERE TO MAKE SURE THAT THE VOTES ARENT BIASED THE WAY THEY ARE RIGHT NOW!!! this is the first law of stock selection – “dont pick the green until they show you the green”
I love the feel of a plastic vagina.
-Tiger
I reckon Bessie’s brist fixytion of awl these Sheilas could be dew to ‘er own fun bags bein’ a cipple of bee stings
@79 your shtick is getting old
#36, “and the who place comes crashing down on me….”
You mean the Who place? Where Cindy-Loo lives? I hear they’re planning a big Christmas bash this year. Lots of roast beast for everyone.
@79 or she knows her audience…
She’s a knock-out..
Ama..zing
Lovely..
Nice titties..
smart (hey she got Tiger) blonde version of penelope cruz.. not that penelope is not not dumb..
@84 penelope cruz is gorgeous. she looks nothing like penelope cruz.
http://guanabee.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/rachel-uchitel1.jpg
@84 you’ve opened my eyes.. bud..
she looks like a plastic doll… ugh..
@50 and @60 are balls on dead accurate. That being said, I would thank her before pushing her head first off the stern of my Feadship.
@all I am actually dumber for having read all these posts today and that isnt easy seeing as how I am a regular on here.
I would say this is the lowest we have sunk here at DB…but we all know tomorrow brings another day.
-9/36
Dear 9/36/88,
TW is arguably the most well known person on the planet (next to Gasparino in his own mind). His marital status was equally well known. She wrecked two relationships (slept with that other pussy actor)in less than one year. Don’t give me the “she was a good girl” or “it takes two” bullshit arguments. RU is a C**T. I lost three friends in 9/11 and none of their spouses pulled her BS stunts. You deserve the beating that your liberal elitist teacher/jounalist/financial analyst/museum curator parents failed to give you as a child.
@36, Rachel used to be a Bloomberg segment producer. Plus she’s kind of hot. Plus she has big tits. Plus CNBC, Bloomberg and Fox Business compete in part by putting hot women with big tits on the air. So there is a connection to finance, and she’s fair game. So STFU.
I see now the connection to finance/wall street gossip tabloid is quite nuanced. Here and I thought it was just big tits that aren’t attached to the wife. Which is enough for me ya know.
An certain MD had three summer interns a few years back and learned he could only offer a job to one of them. So to help him decide, he asked each of them to assemble a PowerPoint evaluating a credit facility for a young web 2.0 company. He gave them the weekend to work on it.
The first intern handed in a ppt full of spelling and grammatical errors.
The second intern handed in a ppt full of financial errors.
The third intern said she needed a little more time and didn’t hand in a ppt at all.
Q: Which one did he hire?
she has seen more than 200 dicks. only the 10+ inch dicks do the job after that
She’s ok but no Liz Claman or Sandra Smith. Now that would be the ultimate get. I could get them. No way could Tiger.
–Curtis Strange
92,
3rd? What’s the answer/punchline?
@95: The standard punchline is: “He hired the one with the biggest tits…..”
However, a clever boulevardier could create a punchline with a little more literary nastiness to it if he/she decided to do so.
Your friend,
The Joke Briefer
T@96, JB, I posted that comment just for you, and true to form, you exceeede expectations.
But you should know, it’s a true story.
-92
@88 LOL What do you think it is here? Journal of Finance site? This a f**king tabloid. She worked for BBG and was engaged to an MD at Sandler O’Neill. It’s perfectly appropriate content here.
@98 and given the time stamp on your post clearly you are sans pants. Try Porn Hub pal this aint that kinda party.
@89 I am anything but liberal. Sorry for your loss in 9/11. I hope you care about healthcare reform and Obama’s tax hikes, the war and other such issues as vigorously as you care about this bullshit. You seem like a couch potato loser who reads OK Magazine.
Who’s winning on American Idol you douche bag.
@99 – I’ll tell ya what: I’ll be standing outside L’Escale at 6pm tonight (live not far from there in Mead Point). You can determine yourself if I’m a couch potato before I end the conversation swiftly and abruptly.
-@89
P.S. WTF is OK Magazine – is that what you pole smokers read?
@100 swiftly? yeah tough guy? Its always intelligent when someone reverts to violence to make a point. You are right you are the smart one. No wonder you care so much about this bullshit.
You are wondering what OK Magazine is? What the fuck is Mead Point? Do they film Jersey Shore there?
In the mean time watch this you may find it funny-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgiCX_y1BW8
Its in Conn. Glad you enjoyed the clip. Blue is a good choice.
Refund gap.
104 = Elin
@99=stupid motherfuka
Ever travelled out of the country? And nobody comes here to care about politics. This is f*cking WS-related tabloid site. Got it, dumbass?
Did the wood(s)pecker splooge between her tits?
RU spending the summer at Woods Hole?
Nice implants! Just wondering what enhancement/modification she did to her vigie.
Hmm, so the lip job was done pre 9/11.
She looks much better in brunette.