• News

    Stifel, Nicolaus Buys UBS

    ‘s branches. As was rumored round these parts this morning. Full press release from Stifel Financial: Stifel Financial Corp. (NYSE: SF) announced today that its principal operating subsidiary, Stifel, Nicolaus & Company, Incorporated, has entered into an exclusive agreement with UBS Financial Services Inc. (“UBS”) to acquire up to 55 branches from the UBS Wealth […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 4:59 PM
  • News

    The Obama Portfolio: Killin’ It

    WOW! See what happens when you hold calls for bloggers? The Obama Portfolio (Since Inception): +16.21% Earlier: The Obama Portfolio

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 4:22 PM
  • News

    It’s Conference Call Day At The Treasury! (Live-Blog)

    3:25-3:38: In its second conference call of the day, the Treasury has mastered the concept of hold music, and is killing us with the soft jazz. We prefer the coughing, wheezing, nose blower. 3:44: Just hangin’ 3:45: Tina Chin, Director of White House office of public liason in the hizzous, joined by Mary Goodman, Sam […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 3:40 PM
  • News

    Goldman May Sell Hot Pieces of Assets?

    “Goldman Sachs is considering selling part of its 4.9% stake in ICBC, a move that could raise more than $1 billion.”– WSJ

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 3:33 PM
  • News

    More Fun With The Treasury

    Please join Senior Treasury officials Mary Goodman, Sam Hanson, and Jeremy Stein for a call at 3:30pm EST today to discuss the latest piece of the financial stability plan. Call in details: Title: White House/Treasury Call Participant dial in: (800) 230-1085

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 3:12 PM
  • News

    Caption Contest Monday

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 2:59 PM
  • News

    Connecticut Is Mad As Hell And Is Not Going To Take This Anymore!

    Seriously. Connecticut is really pissed off and they want their piece of the pie. Yesterday. The state of Connecticut is analyzing the details of bonuses paid by American International Group to see whether they violated state law and what possible remedies might be pursued, the Commissioner of Consumer Protection said on Monday. But that’s nothing. […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 2:45 PM
  • News

    Geithner Pretty Much Says Nothing About Compensation

    I see his mouth moving, and hear stuff coming out of it, and yet, I got nothing. (“We’re going to work with Congress” doesn’t count. For all we know that could mean Frank putting TG in a sleeper hold.)

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 2:26 PM
  • News

    Bonus Bill Loophole?

    Maybe! NEW YORK (Dow Jones)–The U.S. Senate’s proposed legislation that attacks Wall Street compensation might not mean the end of all bonuses for brokers. The bill, which is on the agenda this week, would impose a 70% surtax on so-called “excessive bonuses” – half on employees and half on banks that received bailout funds from […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 1:58 PM
  • News

    JPMorgan Goes There

    In what must be some sort of a prank on Jamie Dimon’s part to get Barney Frank and Friends to choke on a mixture of excess saliva and outrage, JPMorgan is apparently “going ahead with a $138 million plan to buy two new luxury corporate jets and build ‘the premiere corporate aircraft hangar on the […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 1:27 PM
  • News

    Ruth Madoff Completely Slumming It At This Point

    When we last checked in with our heroine, she was suffering through what is believed to have been her first attempt at food shopping in the last several decades, though maybe ever. It was a trying experience, one which left her very cranky, and sans Jarlsberg. Luckily, a weekend in Palm Beach was planned (it’s […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 1:00 PM
  • News

    Thanks, Paul. Don’t Call Us. We’ll Call You.

    Josh Gerstein over at Politico is not a very happy camper. We’re not huge Politico fans or anything, but Gerstein brings up some very interesting points about how badly Paul Volcker has been used by the present administration. To wit: Six weeks after President Barack Obama appointed a blue-ribbon panel to help him dig America […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 12:54 PM
  • News

    Reconsider That Law Degree

    Not everyone is feeling the pain. Consider the folks who now bill out at GBP 1,000 per hour, for instance: U.K. regulatory lawyers advising clients on the financial crisis and scandals like those involving Bernard Madoff bill as much as 1,000 pounds ($1,440) an hour — 50 percent more than mergers-and-acquisition lawyers did during a […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 12:23 PM
  • News

    Unfounded Rumor Of The Morning: UBS

    From the mailbag: “UBS Wealth Management in the US is starting to sell off branches – should be announced ‘shortly’ in Chicago.”

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 11:55 AM
  • News

    Say It To His Face

    As is his wont, Geoffrey Raymond, the greatest artist of our time has finally weighed in on the toxic assets plan, with a portrait entitled St. Timothy. It looks absolutely nothing like T. Geith, but that’s not the point. Raymond of our time will be in the alley behind Goldman Sachs tomorrow, taking public annotations, […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 11:34 AM
  • News

    Jean-Claude Trichet Farts In Your General Direction

    And the ECB don’t need no stinking stimulus, and won’t be pumping cash shamelessly into the European economy, thank you very much. Of course, this might just be a reaction to the fact that, historically, Europeans have quite a bit more experience with, and therefore fear of, inflation than Americans. Either way, Jean-Claude’s slight is […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 11:34 AM
  • News

    International Organization of Securities Commissions To Assure Stocks Always Go Up

    Of course we all know how to make that happen: Simply regulate short selling and the hedge funds who poison us with it. “We believe that short selling should operate in a well-structured regulatory framework in the interests of maintaining a fair, orderly and efficient market,” said Martin Wheatley, chairman of IOSCO’s task force on […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 11:06 AM
  • News

    Don Gasparino Argues In Favor Of AIG Bonuses The Only Way He Knows How

    Just as taxpayers financed the lifestyle of Sammy “The Bull” Gravano when he helped put away crime boss John Gotti, we now need to finance the gangsters on Wall Street. Why? Because they’re the only guys who know where the bodies are buried. No one in government likes to admit to it, but bad guys […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 10:59 AM
  • News

    Live-Blogging The Treasury Call

    9:50-10:04: Apparently this is the Treasury’s first time holding a conference call, which would explain why, instead of hold music, we’ve been listening to a guy cough, pant, and wheeze into the phone for the last 15. 10:05: Counselor to the Treas. Sec. Gene Sperling (sp?) and Matthew K. Baker in the hizzous. “Today is […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 10:05 AM
  • News

    Meredith Whitney Would Rather You Call Her Fat Than Question Her Math

    As you’re aware, Meredith Whitney struck out on her own last month to found an eponymously named firm based on the same principles of ass kicking and testicle clamping that made her famous. But what else can we expect from the new shop? In a New York profile today, the Dollar Dominatrix offers some hints. […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 10:04 AM
  • News

    The Treasury Wants To Talk To You

    Sort of, if for the time being we extend the definition of “blogger” to include those that read blogs. From: redacted at do.treas.gov Date: Mon, Mar 23, 2009 at 8:19 AM Subject: TODAY at 10am: Conference Call with Senior Treasury Officials As a leading blogger the Treasury Department would like to invite you to join […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 9:46 AM
  • News

    We’ve Got A Plan

    Get in on this while you still can. [Public-Private Investment Program]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 8:51 AM
  • News

    “Sorry, Buddy, You’ve Still Got The Job”

    The President said last week that Tim Geithner’s been doing a heckuva job and that everyone needs to just back the shit off but for the skeptics out there who thought the endorsement was a harbinger of a firing to come, how wrong you are. Obama is never ever letting Geithner go, no matter how […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 8:43 AM
  • News

    Is Steve Cohen Buying Sotheby’s?

    Apparently you can’t disclose nearly a six percent stake in the place, agree to let the public get within spitting distance of your most prized paintings, and say stuff like “Why not let the public see the pictures?” all casually (save for the telltale sign of your voice cracking), despite heretofore enforcing a 200 yard […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 8:27 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 03.23.09

    Geithner Looks To Announce New Plan Today (Bloomberg) The new hybrid public/private plan is set to be announced today – the target is somewhere between $500B and $1T of assets. At this point I think it would be completely unreasonable for the government to ask any of the shops to trust them; if the plan […]

    / Mar 23, 2009 at 7:39 AM
  • News

    Weekend Dealbreaker: Now Just Simmer Down. I’m Sure It’s Nothing Like It Sounds.

    The Obama administration will call for increased oversight of executive pay at all banks, Wall Street firms and possibly other companies as part of a sweeping plan to overhaul financial regulation, government officials said. The outlines of the plan are expected to be unveiled this week in preparation for President Obama’s first foreign summit meeting […]

    / Mar 21, 2009 at 8:48 PM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 03.20.09

    $$$ Connecticut to force AIG bonus recipients to testify [Greenwich Time] $$$ Prosecutors Release Letters From Madoff Victims [WSJ] $$$ Madoff Employee Breaks Silence [TDB] $$$ It’s all coming together: “All areas of MER compliance got whacked today. Affected both the WFC and 222 Broadway. My whole team got let go except for 1, including […]

    / Mar 20, 2009 at 5:06 PM
  • News

    Vikram Pandit: “We removed the people responsible for Citi’s financial distress”

    CNBC reports Count Vikula has sent a message to Washington re: taxing the hell out of bonuses from any bank that receive TARP funds, arguing that everyone who’s caused Citi to lose money is no longer with the company, and this isn’t fair. Which kind of makes sense! Full memo sent to the Little Viks […]

    / Mar 20, 2009 at 4:07 PM

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