Archive for January 2010

  • 29 Jan 2010 at 5:23 PM

Write-Offs: 01.29.10

$$$ UBS Currency Man Drops Bonus to Run Luxury Ski-Maker [Bloomberg]
$$$ Matt Goldstein: AIG filing casts doubt on “limited exposure” claim [Reuters]
$$$ Brian Moynihan Is Super Humanly Immune To Cold [BI]
$$$ Wall Street 3: Money Never Sleeps [TRB]
$$$ The Gorilla Juicehead Economy [NYM]

goldmaninterview.JPGEarlier this week, thespian-cum-market moving BSD Shia LaBeouf offered a little piece of wisdom re: getting yourself hired at Goldman Sachs. Sayeth ShiLa: “I talked to a lot of Goldman Sachs people, and one of the requirements of getting a job takes place in the first five minutes of an interview. They take you out to eat. The minute the menu hits the table, if you can’t order within 30 seconds, you don’t have the job.” Obviously, this is incredibly helpful information, as there were probably a decent number of you out there who thought you could just take your sweet-ass time making a decision. To that end, we’ve decided to introduce a new feature wherein, whenever it falls into our laps, we’ll offer you a piece of firsthand advice on how to not just get your toe in the door of Lloyd’s Kingdom, but how to get your ass in a permanent seat there, too. As many of you are probably aware, most Goldman applicants are interviewed at least 20 times before they are made an offer and some more than 30. Today we’ve got a bit more color on what you can expect in meeting number 15, via a camera we stashed in a potted plant of a conference room at 85 Broad. In this clip, the candidate is auditioning (that’s what they calls it at GS) for the role of GSAM co-head. Let’s take a look.

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  • 29 Jan 2010 at 3:43 PM

Gunfight At Davos

gunfight.JPGIt’s getting ugly in Davos. As we wrote previously, everybody is mad at everybody and the booze is missing, which is not helping people’s mood. (Except for Vikram, who, as a commenter noted, looks in the CNBC interview “like he’s sitting in the Zen garden of his dreams.”)

“Both the banks and the regulators think they hold all the cards,” said Harvard Economics Professor Kenneth Rogoff. “The bankers think that when the storm passes nothing will have changed and they can go back to business as usual. Regulators think banks have completely lost the political capital and are ignoring public opinion.”

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Hugh 'Skip' McGee II.GIFBack in November, former Lehman Brothers head of investment banking/current Barclays employee of the same title Hugh “Skip” McGee wrote a tear-stained letter to his son’s boarding school. The Skipper had held his tongue until then, but no longer could he sit by and watch as he flushed thousands of dollars down the toilet each year so the fruit of his loins could have his mind poisoned by the hippies (and what he’s pretty sure are lesbians) running that place. In his note, Baby Huey laid out three reasons for his anger:
1. The school made a bunch of high school boys very upset (not just upset, “humiliated”) when it wouldn’t let them dress in drag for a pep rally.
2. Something about “a gay female coach” (Skip’s original draft: “fucking dyke”) who favors girl sports.
3. (The pièce de résistance:) History teacher Leslie Lovett, who injects her ‘leftist invective’ in the curriculum and said mean, hurtful things about investment bankers, particularly those working for Lehman and Barclays, and made Skippy’s son cry. Luckily, Skip Jr. wiped his eyes, stood up to Ms. Lovett and said, you are wrong about my dad! He wanted to save Lehman. He wanted to save Lehman so bad!
For all those reasons (and more, which the Skip didn’t even want to get into), he called for the dismissal of Upper School Principal Michael Saltman (THIS IS THE PRICK WHO WOULDN’T LET THE DRAG SHOW GO ON), Headmaster Donald North and the teacher, Leslie Lovett. And this week? Success! Kind of! Saltman has “resigned,” and the next generation of McGees can wear dresses without worrying some lefty is going to ruin their good time. All members of the Barclays community are invited to meet in the lobby promptly at 3 to celebrate this momentous occasion. Shareholders, come along, too. You’re gonna wanna get a load of who’s working ya.

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  • 29 Jan 2010 at 2:23 PM

Vikram Pandit Not Worried About Citi Profitability

sheilabair.jpgSheBair is oddly pulling a Geithner, flip flopping around the prop trading ban proposal. Just like her nemesis, she’s adopting a “yeah, it’s a great idea but I don’t know” attitude toward Obama’s proposal.
At Wednesday’s AIG hearing, Congressman McHenry asked Timmy G. how he could back the Volcker Rule while having said that he was opposing a Glass-Steagall return, screaming at him: “How do you reconcile those two beliefs? They are direct opposites”

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  • 29 Jan 2010 at 12:48 PM

Buy Lenny Dykstra’s House– BYO Toilets

dykstrahouse.JPGWhat’s this joyous news you hear? I’ll tell you what– Lenny Dykstra’s house is back on the market! It’s the same one– Wayne Gretzky’s old place– that Nails tried to sell back in June 2008 for $24,950,000, hoping for a 33% return (LD bought the Thousand Oaks manse for $18.5 million on in August 2007), only this time, it comes with so much more. Like dog feces. Piss on the walls. Empty beer bottles. Trash. Other “unmentionables.”

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stiglitz.jpgAnd back at the let’s break-the-banks-or-not Davos game–today: Stiglitz gives his two cents. The Nobel Prize laureate, on team Roub-WB, is calling for more regulation.

“When they win they walk off with the profits, when they lose the taxpayer pays,” he pointed out. “We really need to go more directly at these issues like incentives.”

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