Bobby Rubin’s D-in-L, Gretchen Rubin, recently wrote a book called “The Happiness Project,” to deal with her “midlife malaise and help others smile more often.” Haven’t read it, but it’s apparently a best-seller and girlfriend seems pretty chipper so presumably it works. One person she’s probably keeping very happy is her husband, Jamie, a senior partner at the private-equity firm BC Partners. Not only because she stinks (some people are into that) but because, in Gretch’s opinion, she’s a fantastic lay.
Rubin is a slender fast-talker who, in the book, describes herself as humorless and ambitious. Among her dislikes, she writes, are talking on the telephone and taking showers. Rubin, who wrote a “Happiness Project” blog while working on the book, said she’s behaving better these days. She relaxes by jumping up and down in her apartment (“my children laugh hysterically”) and participating in book groups she started that read children’s literature. “The Happiness Project” includes 29 pages about money, including the observation that money, used wisely, can help buy happiness. She said seeing a physical therapist who eased her back pain was money well spent. “Whether rich or poor, people make choices about how they spend money, and those choices can boost happiness or undermine it,” she wrote.
But there’s nothing in the book about sex.
“I only talk about the things that I had to work on,” Rubin said.
If you know what she means and I think you do.
Rubin’s In-Law Finds Happiness in Sleeping, Jumping, $3 Pens [Bloomberg via BI]
No pages on butt fucking the American people like her daddy-in-law?
@1 i only talked about things i had to work on.
-gretch
she might be great at fucking, but it looks like her teeth would get in the way of a giving great head
“I thought about what it would take to be less snappish and more lighthearted,” said Rubin
It's called a bong hit honey
Daddy Bob welcomed her into the family by gently massaging her anus while sucking off his son all the while demanding it be done to restore order to his house….
how many HB's required?
@5 um, what? bob rubin blew his son?
5- yeah dude wtf?that's a little weird even for here
I thought Shiksas were for practice
Erin in black leather today? Merry, gawdam belated Christmas to this cowboy! It's moving!
have it…
-bobby
@2 that was my point
1
Perhaps Jamie just likes the scent of days-old tuna?
@ 5 you are a freak…please tell us what compelled you to write that
it would be more fun to watch her jump up and down if she had tits.
If she chose to get married in a bath tub would it have been a double ring ceremony?
Firebush.
Self calls like Gretch's tend to be bad calls…..
@5 here – ever hear Bob Rubin do his version of the Aristocrats?
No mention of cutting down trees with her beaver-like incisors and building dams?
Great head occasionally involves the tooth-rake, the corn cob nibble, and my favorite, the "mad dog."
@5 i laughed
Handbridge Capital principal.
Not showering, red head, fast talker… reminds me of the time I spent in Ireland. They smell like ass.
@5, you should get back to the counseling.
@guy who like to hit things with lights on.
-ruling please.
@17 the term is firecrotch.
21- sold to you my scabby-cocked friend
The only showers she takes are golden..
homage to @5
A blind Irishman accidentally wanders into a dockside fish market, takes a sniff and cheerily says, "Top 'o the mornin' to ya ladies!!"
@5 so how does Rob's version compare to Silverman's version?
or is her version based on the Rubin family
mancision required.
@30 – it starts off like this:
Me and three year old grandson start tapping together. It is really neat to see, trust me. We are really tearing it up. Then I bend down and we start making out, it is something to see. I mean her we are tapping away while trading spit. And for a three year old, he is a damn good kisser. And this isn't child stuff either, we are getting really hot and heavy. Plenty of tongue, I nibble on his litte ear lobe, he sucks on my bottom lip. He likes the way my five o'clock shadow rubs his cheak. This is all the while we are tapping. It really starts to pick up here.
"The Happiness Project" Haiku
********************************
The nozzle sprays me
But no bubbles when wind breaks
Tub baths are more fun
@ 27 Well done.
@28- go fuck yourself and go home
I thought @5 was graphic but hilarious.
I would probably give 'er a bit of the ole in-out in-out with the lights on.
-Guy who likes to give things the ole in/out in/out with the lights on.
I'd hit it
- Magicjack guy
The moderator of this thread must be asleep at his/her computer in the DB offices.
I think she still needs to work on my tool. That needs to be an addendum to the book.
@39
Moderator? For what? The Aristocrats? Really?
Gretchen? What kinda name is that for a ho?
She left out the ball gag and leather zipper mask? What's the safe word?
-Inquiring gimp that wants to know.
35 = Tax Chick
-3rd grader that has a thing for Tax Chick but expresses it by hitting her
@39= Gretchen
Awful Teeth + Sensible Mom Hair = Happiness
Gretchen.
42=Anal_yst
Where is Tax Chick today?
the lost Noel daughter?
@40/45 – Sorry to disappoint, not Irish… and NO, I do not want a little Irish in me (little being the operative word).
How about a lot of Irish?
@27, if she gets a Cleveland Steamer, she can use the golden shower to rinse.
@ Tax Chick. What are you wearing?
-49 here-
Comment removed by moderator.
@subprime – isn't that an oxymoron?
@49 – anything I say short of your face would be disappointing. Just use your imagination.
A Goldman banker is making it rain in the men's room and contemplating his bonus when a wee, leprechaun-looking fellow with twinkling eyes appears seemingly out of nowhere, steps up to the next urinal, and winks at him. Though his chin barely clears the urinal, he unzips, unfurls an enormous shelaleigh, and starts to relieve himself. The banker is taken aback but a bit awed, and the imp says to him, "All the money in the world won't buy you one like this, but I can use me magic powers to get you one."
"How's that?" asks the banker, intrigued at the possibilities.
"Why I'm a leprechaun, don't ya know? Just let me big dick ya for a bit, and then I'll snap my fingers and it'll be done."
"Well I don't know," says the banker.
"Aw c'mon now, you know you want one. Think a the girls you'll be havin' with this" says the imp, waggling. "And I promise it won't hurt atall."
"Allright" says the banker, and they step into a stall.
So the banker drops his pants and the imp starts in. After a while he asks, "so laddie, what's your name?"
The banker gasps and whines, "Gary."
And the imps says, "Now Gary, sure and grown man like yourself doesn't believe in leprechauns?"
Girl has no tits. It looks like she suffers from the "nipples on a ribcage" look that every man dreads.
@56. Is there a landing strip somewhere or am I at risk of getting lost?
@tax chicky @56- you may not have a fire bu$h, but you're on fire! well played. golf clap.
-tiger
@58 不是每个人。
I think I've ripped a couple of boards off that chest.
-D.Rodman
@ 61 hahahahaha that was great. You should order it with fried rice though and try the dumplings.
@61 – OH SNAP!
i bet she has nice feet
@61 ROR!
@61 good one!
-Choo Beng Lee
She looks like Borat's Wife
@9 Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
How would you feel if I said that jew girls, JAPs, etc. were for practice?
Fuck you, you inconsiderate prick.
The problem with the superskinny yoga chicks like this (aside from the nipples on a washboard thing) is that there's no cushion to soften the pushin' No way to get any kind of traction or happy rhythm without banging into a protruding hip or worse yet squeezing the buns and just getting bone. It feels like you're boning a concentration camp inmate. Which might work for some, but not me.
Fuck all you guys. I think she's quite cute.
@5 – Nice!
Where's the fucking wideclops? That's who she reminds me of…Still do her though
@70
sounds like someone stepped on your udder
35 = Tax Chick
-3rd grader that has a thing for Tax Chick but expresses it by hitting her
"I am awesome at fucking" tag FTW.
I found my new Wifey.
-Tila Tequila
@61 ROR!
stick it in her nose and watch cum shoot out of her eyes..
stick it in her nose and watch cum shoot out of her eyes..
stick it in her nose and watch cum shoot out of her eyes..
The only red-head I will accept is Liz Claman. On that note, if Liz wants to practice sex with me, I’m at UBS, come on by, baby.
The only red-head I will accept is Liz Claman. On that note, if Liz wants to practice sex with me, I’m at UBS, come on by, baby.